SadAndy Posted May 5, 2010 Share Posted May 5, 2010 Hi all, As many of you will know my ex of 14yrs dumped me 3 mths ago for a younger man. Over the 14yrs we were together we had a daughter 8 yrs ago and everything was fine. 5 yrs ago she had a 6 month affair with my 'best mate' which only ended when I found out. Her excuse for that one was that 'we weren't getting on'. True enough, we were bickering but I was the one at the time who was losing sleep trying to make it work. Her having an affair was not going to solve anything so it was a very weak argument which I bought as I wanted it to be true. 3 mths ago she left me for a 21yr old man who she works with. I had been suspicious since about November and although she repeatedly denied anything was happening, even swearing on our daughters life repeatedly, I worked it out and confronted her, which was when she admitted it. She then confessed a couple of weeks later that SHE had infact restarted the affair with the original guy 18mths ago! Apparently she had 'fallen out of love' with me and there were 'serious problems with our relationship'. It's a shame that she never once talked to me and indeed, I didn't think (and still don't, other than her cheating) that our relationship was that bad at all. I am now at the point where I am blaming myself for being a crappy boyfriend, even though I know I did nothing wrong and she has told me this. She is so happy with this new bloke and texted me last week to say 'he has shown me what was wrong with our relationship' that I feel I must have failed at something, even though I was kind and devoted to our family. The question that I am really asking through this post is that even if I had been the worlds worst partner, is there anyway that her behaviour could be justified? She has destroyed our daughters stable family life and been able to deceive me for periods totalling nearly 2 yrs. I just cannot accept that someone could behave in such a self centred, evil way especially a mother and the fact that she looked me in the eye and repeatedly swore on our daughters life, makes me feel physically sick. I have spoken to my therapist about this but all she said was 'not everyone has the same views on things' which was no help to me at all as this is not some slight 'misdemeanour' but a fundamental attack on the basic morals of a human being. Link to comment
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