Time to give up&move on??? or not?

[JohnOO8]

Here is the story once again an at the bottom the conclusion

 

Hi, I need real help. I met this wonderful girl at my summer camp named Lauren. me and her were so close it was amazing. i was in a living heaven but like the imperfect world we live in i lost her. I made a mistake and we broke up. I thought i would get over her in about 2 weeks it would be no big deal. I was wrong. It has been one full year now and i have realized that i am in love with her. I have been givin another chance to go back to the summer camp we met at. I am going and so is she. Her friends all want her to be with me because they think we make a good couple. It has taken so much to bring myself back from this. i have spent so much time building my confidence. I am a new person. I have mended my ways. I need her. I have talked to her alot these days and she said she would go back out with me, however i have not asked i would just be to hurt to get hurt, instead i am waiting till i see her in person. I feel very controlled after 360 days of wondering if this 50/50 chance thing is going to work the day is coming and fast with only 22 days left. I will need extreme help rebuilding after this if she rejects me because i will be in a deep depression and most likely not be myself. she is the only one who i love or care for so deeply. i am thinking i am insane taking a whole year and for what a 50% chance back with her its like im getting her back with a coin flip. lol. Someone please help me what do i say when i see her. I am scared. i want to be with her forever. please tell me what to do i need help. Like i said i have changed just for her. Do i really go through with this or should i walk now and save the pain?if i can get her back my life is set!... If she rejects me what do i do. The main question here is that i love her she at this point does not love me/but that can change thats what her friends say. to her im just there for taking if she pleases and i feel as though my love is for her and she doesnt love me back.. How do i get her love???

 

 

Now is it time to give up? I can't put myself through this much longer. I'm not sure what to do. Do i give asking her out a shot or call it quits before i get to hurt? My will is dying slowly so help me please. It controlls me this whole situation an i strive for the answer yes or no to going out with me. i want to get it over with. Yet at the same time im concidering calling it quits to avoid being hurt

[birdie0013]

"you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink" "you can show a heart how to love but in the end you can't make it love"

Simple enough, if she doesn't love you after a year, then it wasn't meant to be. I've always tried to look at everything that's happened to me (good and bad) with the idea that everything happens for a reason. Maybe you were at a point that you had given up on love and she came into your life to show you that it was possible. But just because she may not love you doesn't give you a reason to keep from trying. If you ask her out and she says no, then you're alone...but if you don't ask, you're definitely alone. See the picture? Pain is only what you make it.

Next thing....you should never change who you are for someone. If she has shown you how to be a better person, that's one thing. But if you completely stopped doing all the things you loved just because she didn't like them, then that's not love....that's you trying to impress her. If she really loved you she would love all of you and all of your ways.

Try not to be so down about all of this. If it doesn't work out, you're young. You sound like a really nice guy, and plenty of girls would love to get to know you. The world does keep spinning. If it doesn't work out, just be glad for all the things you've got from her. Take your memories, mourn if you must, then file them away to look at when the wound is healed. You'll make it through this, no matter what the outcome. Good Luck and I'm here for you waiting the results.

[woobiegirl]

Hey John,

 

You should go find out or you'll always wonder...and probably drive yourself wondering what would have happened. Not knowing can be worse than knowing sometimes. Besides, the camp sounds like a fun thing to do. You mentiond talking allot with her these days, does that mean you haven't actually seen her in person since last year?

 

Do i really go through with this or should i walk now and save the pain?

You have 3 great things going for you...1. She said she would like to go out with you again 2nd: her friends agree that she cares for you and 3rd, you have a fresh outlook, confidence and with these wonderful gifts I'm sure she will see how sincere you are. Stop the negative thoughts, they won't take you anywhere but down...you have way too much positiveness going for you. We all make mistakes, but it takes a special person to admit them.

 

Good luck! Let us know how it went...

Woobiegirl

[shockeddismayed]

John....

 

Buddy the answers are right there in front of you. But let me make a few suggestions.

 

1) You say you've worked on yourself "just for her". I say NO WAY... you worked on yourself b/c it was important and it will benefit you in the long run no matter what happens.

2) You've managed to cope for a whole year on your own. That is a major accomplishment! You should be proud! But also... what is even more interesting is that you were able to keep your strong feelings for her without letting them destroy you. That shows you are capable of great love... a love you will be able to give to someone special... perhaps even her. You need to take internal pride in that.

3) You seem very negative even though the facts point to the positive... if you've been talking and she's said she would date you again... why are you so frightened? You need to take the chance to love again. And guess what... if it doesn't work out... you'll need to do it again. However this time your recovery will be easier, you've already proven to yourself you can survive without her. Don't let your fear play tricks on your mind.

 

I think you should take the attitude that you are going to have a GREAT time at camp no matter what happens. Show up excited to see her... but also excited to see your other friends. Take the first little while to feel things out. Hang out with her, enjoy her company... even flirt a little. A few smiles from her will go a long way to eliminating your fear. When you feel comfortable, tell her how you feel. Remember, this is the fun part of love... enjoy it. And if it doesn't work out, remember who you are, what you have to give... and spend some time enjoying the sun and events at camp.

 

I think you'll have a great summer. Best of luck

[JohnOO8]

Thank you all. I will keep you updated. unfortunately i havent seen her since last year an at a reunion. I am a building ready to fall or made stronger. I wont be back until augest 1st. I will update you though the topic will be entitled "The Update, back to being me"

 

Thanks all once agian

[woobiegirl]

Hey shockedndismayed...I liked your advice. I meant to bring up one of your points myself where you said he really did it for "himself", you're so right about that, if your mind is healthy you'll make better choices.

 

and John.... 0X ...cross your fingers and promise to let us know the good news. We're going to be in suspense until August ourselves now.

 

best wishes,

Woobiegirl

[JohnOO8]

Thanks woobie girl!... i will keep you updated. The moment i have waited for is coming soon. Lol by the way by the looks of the alien crossing his fingers 0X when i saw it i thought he was giving me the middle finger an i was like thanks alot lol

0X 0X 0X 0X 0X 0X 0X 0X 0X 0X 0X 0X 0X 0X Ok thanks for all your help you have also helped boost my confidence thank you all. you do not know how much i appreciated it....

Woobie girl PM me or IM me. lets talk

[JohnOO8]

Please keep replying. i would like some more thoughts as much as i enjoyed those who did reply. about 300 people looked...6 replied if you look an have any thoughts please share them... thanks