strangest situation ever.

[yellowjello]

hey I don't know what to do..

 

In March, my ex thought I was clingy and crazy because I kept trying to talk to him (he took it the wrong way, he thought I was trying to get back with him). So I cleared it up and said "although I still have feelings for you, I know you don't want to get back together and I respect that, I was only trying to be friends"....which I think is the perfect way to make it better. Things were cool after that.

 

Then in April someone hacked his account, he thought it was me, and thought I was psycho. This event made all his annoyance from March resurface. So now, he was annoyed at two things - how I acted in March + hacking. Then he realized the hacking was not done by me, so that part went away. But the annoyance at my actions in March stayed.

 

So now what. It's back to stage 1. He thinks I'm clingy and crazy because of how I acted in March. Because of how I kept trying to 'get back with him'. But I already cleared up that I wasn't! And everything was fine! So why did he have to start thinking that again?? When he thought I hacked his account, why did all of this come back too? And why didn't it go away when he realized the hacking wasn't done by me. And now that it's back, what should I do? Clear it up again?

[alli]

You aren't going to convince him that you're not clingy by calling him repeatedly & telling him that. Just leave him alone & do your own thing! The best way to prove you aren't clingy & hacking him is to live your own life & stay out of his. Don't worry so much about what he thinks anyway, it doesn't matter anymore.

[RedDress]

Yeah... really? Who cares what he thinks? He's your ex. He's not interested in being friends. He doesn't even know you well enough to know your true intentions.

 

What he thinks of you does not define you. Anyone who hears him complain KNOWS that it's coming out of the mouth of an ex. Someone who is potentially bitter.

 

If you do ANYTHING, you will simply prove you are clingy.

 

Time to bust out the Beatles. Go sing "Let it be"! LOL!

[yellowjello]

but he still thinks that the reason I was talking to him in March was to get back together! so obviously it seems clingy to him!

Don't you think he should know that I wasn't trying to get back together?

[RedDress]

Don't you think he should know that I wasn't trying to get back together?

 

You already told him your motive. He knows what you think your motive was. He has the right to his own opinion.

 

Again. You won't change his mind. Anything you do now will only make it worse.

 

Sucks... but in time... if you let it go and never contact him again... he may realize what was actually going on. Time has a way of clearing things up on its own.

[yellowjello]

You already told him your motive.

 

That's very true. But if he believed me when I told him my motive, why did this whole thing come back?

[RedDress]

That's very true. But if he believed me when I told him my motive, why did this whole thing come back?

 

Maybe he didn't believe you. Maybe he just said "ok" because he didn't want to argue.

[yellowjello]

Ohh. Yeah that's a possibility.

 

Do you think that if he did believe me, it would not have gotten triggered back?

Or is it possible that he did believe me, and it still got triggered back for some reason.

I thought maybe when he thought I hacked his computer he realized I was crazy, so he doubted it..thinking "whatever she told me that day was a lie after all".

Thats deff a possibility. But if that were true, wouldn't that doubt go away when he realized I never hacked him?

[misssmithviii]

Why even care? You cannot change someone else's views on you, it's up to them. Struggling with this situation is futile and will only stress you out, it's not even going to effect him.

[JoeK_19]

I think that sharing one's age and sex should be obligatory here. I'm 30 and enjoy reading posts and giving advice, but the advice to a teenager vs someone in their 20's/30's would be vastly different.

[yellowjello]

I think that sharing one's age and sex should be obligatory here. I'm 30 and enjoy reading posts and giving advice, but the advice to a teenager vs someone in their 20's/30's would be vastly different.

 

That's true.. I'm 22.

[shessofly]

you should really stop putting so much energy into what this guy thinks about you. there is nothing you can do to change it. live your life and move on. you want to show him you're not crazy? then stop talking to and about him to your friends or anyone else who may have any kind of contact with him. i've been through this and hurt like you wouldn't believe, but i got over it. you can too. the more focus, energy and attention you put into this the more proof it will be in his eyes that his thoughts are correct. ignore him and tell your friends you don't want to discuss anything he has said about you or anyone else.

[yellowjello]

Yeah I know I should accept that the memories are ruined. It is just very difficult to do so. Losing this is harder than losing the relationship. I always thought even if we lose the relationship, we'll always have the memories (thats something that will be with us for the rest of our lives). So even if the relationship was gone, it's okay because the memories are still left. But if the memories are gone too, theres nothing left. They were something I was going to keep with me for life. So it feels like I lost a part of my life. I'm in love with those experiences I had with him. They're very very precious to me. Now it feels like that precious experience is being degraded, blasphemed, burnt from existence. It's tragic its like burning my child.

 

You know how when someone dies, they say you never really lost them because a part of them lives on with you in your memories?

That's how I felt about the relationship. Even though it died, it will live on in our hearts/memories. But now..even that's gone.

 

Is it really true? I know I cannot control his mind, but I had hope that this negative opinion may not need to be permanent. I had some hope that there's a chance it could be salvaged. Some hope that there's something I could do, not to control his mind, but just to help his opinion of me. Is it really true that it is impossible, and he will think of me this way forever?