It still hurts

[sinnerboy]

Hi to everyone.

 

 

Well my story is really confusing and I do not know where to really start.

I and my ex gf where together for 15 months. Like any normal couple we had small fights.

Everything was going well, she even said she loves me, I could not be happier. Myself I had some problem with saying "I love you" I got burn once and I was afraid it would happened again. Later on my ex gf change her mind and said that she does not love me anymore, after that I did not know what to think. We had a talk about our relationship. She said that some times she was afraid to say something because I would snap on her, I have to admit she was right. That really touched me, I changed and everything seemed fine. We spend most of our time together, some great moments. I cooked breakfast, romantic dinners with candles, did all kind of nice things for her, to show her how I feel about her. I thought she would see it, it turned that she did not. She always pressured me to say, "I live you". For some reason I could not get myself to say it (I do not know why) for that she came up that instead I would say "I heart you" and I did. She also joked and said, " I'm not saying it because you don't" so I thought she most love me, otherwise why would she joke like that. Couple times she snap on me with no reason saying " I'm not happy with my life" so we talked and everything was fine. When she used to go to visit her parents she would call everyday. A week before she dump me she went to visit her family, when she got back we spent Sunday Monday together and it was fine. On Tuesday she did not call me for most of the day so I called her and she said that she was busy. That night we got into a small agreement over the sheets (stupid) at leas she thought that it was we where agreeing about. I got mad because the way she told me to adjust the dam sheets, like I was some kind of servant. She said that she does not love me, and she is not sure if she wants to have a boyfriend. That was the last night we slept next to each other. Next day I called her to say hi and to see how things where standing. On the phone she sounded a little mad, but when she asked me if I was ok because she was worrying I thought everything would be ok. So I went to her place and I started cooking dinner for two like I promised to her the day before. It was almost perfect as romantic as I was able to make it. At the dinner I knew something was not right. I could see in her eyes what was coming; I'll never forget them. After the dinner she drops the bomb " I do not want to do this anymore" I felt like somebody just took my heart and squeezed it like a lemon. I started to cry like a baby, When I started to packing my stuff she told me "I don't want you to go" she also asked me if she is doing the right thing (can you imagine) and she said that she was preparing for two month to dump me. I could not believe it, two months. When I got to my car she came outside, opened my car door kissed me (wearing my boxers) and left. On my way home she sent me a text message " I'm sorry" to make the whole thing shorter, it has been a month and I still miss her like crazy I really love her. I'm tired of crying. Anyway over that period she called me about six times for different reasons. One tome she called me from a LA club to say hi and to let me know that she wanted to invite me but she knew I had to work the next day. Next time, she needed direction (funny) or other time she wanted me to be a messenger to our mutual friends. I talk to her in person and when I asked her if she wants t try again she said "not now but I do not what is going happened in the future" I also know that a week after she dump me she met a guy in San Diego. She is dating him right now L a month after she dump me. It looks, like I did not mean much to her. There is much more of the story but I do not want t bug you too much, I appreciate any views and advices.

 

thank you

 

ps

 

sorry for any grammar mistakes i just moved to the states.

if you guys ned more details let me know.

[kuhl282000]

Hello LA

 

Sorry for your pain. Emotional pain is the worse pain of all. We have at one time or another be there. Yes ! is was no fun. But somehow we grow, we learn from it. Mostly about ourselves. I know you are going through the grieving stages, loss, lonely, filling the time void you spent with her, the the anger. And then one day you wake up. In your case it sounds pretty simple, she wanted to has some space and freedon and still wants to play the field. She does and did care about you otherwise they would never call. That is saying your a pretty cool guy, kind considerate. not to worry, she is a stepping stone in your long life ahead. you have a self esteem problem at present because you were rejected. We all go through it. But you see you are out there giving the love thing your best shot. You really did not do anything wrong. Just dust yourself off and get back in the game. With 3 Billion women in the world, I'm sure a few would love to have you as there guy. Put on your dancing shoes and don't wait by the phone checking your caller ID. Why ? Because they are out dancing. It is time to move on my friend. Remember you did nothing wrong, she was not your soulmate. She was someone that you tried to love until your soulmate finds you. And we all have on, the key is finding them. Go out and have some fun this weekend.

 

Good Luck

 

Kuhl

 

8)

[sweetharmony]

sI don't know. To me it sounded like she didn't know where you stood in the relationship. 15 months and you never said that you loved her. She probably really needed to hear it and since you couldn't she felt like she was wasting her time. I don't think you should tell everyone that you mee thtta you love them, i really think it's more special when you wait at least six months- a year (max) - but 15 months was perhaps a little too long for her. but ui guess people should say it when they're ready.

 

It took my ex boyfriend two breakups and a year and a half to say he loved me. I was hurting for so long to hear it. I couldn't bring myself to say it first- if he didn't love me, why should I subject myself to the pain of him rejecting me.

 

maybe your ex was confused. It sounded like she was hurt from your past emotional baggage. you said it yourself, you have been burned and you you had some issues.

 

not to be harsh, but it's painful to stay in a relationship with a guy who cannot express his emotions.

 

perhaps eveluate some of your actions. if you really love her, tell her. Explain to her that it was really difficult for you to express your feelings and that you were wanting to make sure that you were sincere when you said it.

[sinnerboy]

thank you

 

 

sweetharmony i did tell her that i love her, i put my heart on a plate for her, but now she is so cold that i do not think she cares. the reason why i had problem with saying"i love you" was because of her actions. one night she tells me that she loves me and a week later she does not. yes mabe i hade some problems with expressing myself (verbally), that is why i tryed to show it by doing stuff for her. you are right i made some mistakes but i can only learn as i go.

you see the thing is that she does not want to give me a second chance (now), bacause of that guy in San Diego whom she met a week after she dumped me. so i can't show her how much love i have to give, that hurts.

the fact that i suffer so much and she is having fun, kills me inside. there is alot of her action that i did not put in my story, because it would be to long.