My story of heart break

[hater13]

My ex broke up with me almost 4 weeks ago. It's been hard for me to cope with the break up, he insisted that we stay friends (best friends) saying that I was a very important part of his life and he didn't want to lose that. Our break up was very emotional, we were both crying and upset.

 

The month leading up to our break up was hard we started fighting over petty things and both ended up saying things that hurt each other. I'm the forgiving type, so I would always "forgive and forget". My ex on the other hand has issues letting go of the past and would always bring up things I said out of anger that I never meant.

 

My ex broke up with me at the end of March (march is when our fights started). I think these fights were all quite stupid and could have easily been resolved IF my ex was willing to speak about them and sort them about. I was always the one trying to find out the root of our issues while my ex would just not want to speak about it.

 

I intended to do NC right after our break up, while on the phone with my ex I told him I was saying goodbye forever but he refused and wanted to still talk to me. NC was harder for me then I expected, I ended up still contacting him for a week after out break up. Doing the usual- begging, pleading, crying, even calming telling him we could make it work. Towards the last few days of our contact I told him I had come to terms with our break up (I really hadn't) and that I had put his gifts away and deleted a file of all our pictures and emails (my ex had told me he deleted his as well). After I told him I got rid of his things my ex informed me that he really didn't delete his folder of my pictures and memories, but was glad he told me he did (so that I could move on). I asked him if he still loved me and responded "yes" so I asked then why aren't we together? He replied "i don't know". I even asked him if we'd ever get back together once again he replied "i don't know". He said that at the moment he wanted to be alone and that he "deserved" to be alone.

 

So after having a lengthy conversation with him, I told him that I couldn't possibly get over him while still being in contact with him and he said ok I won't contact you until uni starts up again (september). I agreed and said my last goodbyes to him, thanking him for the learning experience of our relationship and wished him an early happy birthday (his birthday was the next day).

 

It has been 3 weeks since I last had contact with him and he's suddenly started to act unusual on facebook. He was never a fan of social networking sites but had made facebook about 2 months before we got together. He did not delete me on facebook OR msn and started to become highly active on facebook (he never had been before). He even said to me during our relationship that he only uses facebook to talk to people he normally doesn't have regular contact with.

 

He even started making comments on pictures of a girl he has recently met at his uni (we go to different uni's) that are VERY similar to the ones he left on my pictures!! He even changed his msn nickname to "I love you ____" the name being a childhood friend he's basically using to get over me.

 

I asked him during our week of contact if he was over it and he said "no". Which makes no sense to me, afterall he's the one that ended it? Shouldn't he already have no feeling about me or not care at all?

 

Our mutual friends were quite shocked by our breakup my friend even claimed that I was playing an april fools prank on her!! All his actions and what he said to me shortly after the break up just make me think he's confused.

 

He only agreed to NC because he wanted to do whatever would make it easily FOR ME.

 

So tell me your thought on the situation

Thanks for reading my lengthy and possibly badly written post

[britomart]

He's using social networking tools to help him move on.

 

You're not over him yet, so I would caution against breaking NC now, because that would be a response to his actions.

[hater13]

I have not broken NC

I told my friends to change my facebook password and not give it back to me until they feel I have moved on. I have no checked his facebook in about 4 days which is an amazing accomplishment for me especially since I would check it almost 4-5 times a day before.

 

He has also started to drink heavily again...I do not drink (he knows I hate when people get embarassingly drunk) he texted me DURING our contact to inform me that he was going out with the sole intention of getting drunk, I assume this was just to rattle me, much like the facebook comments and msn name are.

 

What I don't understand is..why would he INSIST to be friends with me, not remove me from msn OR facebook?

[NewDater]

I am not sure in his case but for me.....Me and my Gf just broke up. we figured it wasnt a good time in our life to commit with our current life situations and log distance. I still want to e firends with her bc it would hurt me alot more to lose her as a lover and a friend. Not only that she is actually the closest person I have in my life now and I dont know what Ill do if she left. Ireally dont think we are right fro each other b/c she is a drinker also and I a not. She lives a more unstable life than I do too.

[hater13]

we both live fairly stable lives, no drama. Just fights that eventually let my ex to become quite sad, right at the signs of some kind of trouble my ex left. I was never the one that talked about the future and future plans together, my ex did. He always said I would be the one leaving NOT him (he always expressed fear of this).

 

Either way I refuse to be JUST friends with my ex. If he wants me in his life is has to be as a girlfriend!

 

He always said he had a good feeling about me when we first met and I knew from the beginning we'd eventually get together (even when we were just friends).

 

I even get the feeling that he will come back eventually, the thing is by the time he comes back will I even want him anymore? I don't know. I get the feeling that won't be for a few months now.

[NewDater]

hater13...I hope it works out for you. After reading the other thread. I decided to go NC. That is the best possible solution. If it is meant to be, we will be together again. I believe that. Ill leave it up to GOD

[hater13]

i agree with you 100%

 

I know my ex is having issues with this break-up. He even stated his stubborness would get in the way of contacting me anytime soon, which is a pathetic excuse to let love go.

 

I always follow my gut feeling and I had a gut feeling about my ex and I have a feeling he will get back...but once again will I even care about him when he does?

 

I hope all goes well with you too. NC is the best way.

 

thank you