I hate my life

[timeparadox]

Hey,

For over a year and a half now i have really hated my life. i have thought several times about committing suicide but never followed through with it. everyone keeps telling me not to, that there are other ways to deal with it. i have tried everything. I've been on prescription anti depressents, i've been to counseling, i've prayed to God, i've even just tried talk to my friends. i can't seem to get rid of these feeling or thoughts. I feel so alone/so crapy inside. the pain i have as collected up since i was in high school now comes out after the first girl i ever opened up to (i have never opened up to anyone else before) and ever loved, rejected me. this happened over a year ago and i can't get over her or stop thinking about how much it hurts inside. so much pain all at once. i have a very strong relationship with God. I've had it over 2 years now, almost 3. in fact, it's basically the only reason i'm still alive, but i can't hold on to it any more. as far as i'm concerned, i'm already in hell and i don't see me ever getting out of this place, thereforeeee i should kill myself. even then i, nor any other human on this planet, can say that i would go to hell for killing myself. that can only be determined by Jesus Christ, He is the judge no one else can say that i will go to hell (that's what i believe, just so u know). i don't know what to do. i feel so lost sometimes, but then i also have those times were i have absolute clearity of thought and a reason to keep going. that doesn't happen as much anymore, the reason to keep going that is. i just want to die or at least not feel pain any more.

[xxatti]

Whenever someone tries to tell me that their life is the worst, and no one has it worse than them... "I might as well be dead" etc, I simply bring them back to reality. You give me your life story and I guarantee you that I can tell you about somebody who has it worse than you. At least you have friends that you can talk to. Which is more than some people have. So that alone makes your life better than those people.

 

Also, I know you probably dont want to hear this, but it sounds to me like your letting what happened to you with one girl spiral you out of controll. I dont know how old you are, but its just not worth it. There are WAY too many women in this world to let any "one" of them cause you excessive stress and grief.

 

BTW, Im not a suicide counselor so I hope my rather firm message doesnt drive you to go and kill yourself. If you want a bunch of people to come on here and kiss you A$$ and give you a whole bunch of sympathy, fine, Im sure you've come to the right place. But you're not gonna get it from me.

 

Im really not trying to be a jerk here. I wish you all the best, and Im perfectly willing to give you whatever advice that I can, all you need do is ask.

[TJFP]

Rejection shouldn't be taken this seriously. So you got rejected by your choice, it's happened to all of us.

 

Don't blame it on yourself, god, or whatever else. Because none of it is your fault. It's not your fault you like her, and it's not your fault because she doesn't like you back.

 

I know it's hard to think about it, but over time it will heal. When I first got rejected by my first I couldn't stop thinking about it for many months. I still remember it, but certainly the impact isn't as severe as she didn't "put me down" while rejecting my offer.

 

Perhaps you interpreted signals that were never there. It happens very often. Don't beat yourself up over something so miniscule.

[Copeland]

I don't supose you are able to tell us a bit more about whats happened in your life? whats made it so bad or caused you so much pain?

[dizzy_bruce]

hey

 

Now I'm no big religious person, you said that you think that you're already going to hell right? If you went to confession at a church, made an honest confession and got the priest to absolve you of your sins, your 'slate' would be wiped clean.

 

I, and I'm sure many other ppl on this forum, know what it feels to be rejected - it's pretty much the worst feeling in the world as far as I'm concerned. You may feel as though they will never be anyone else like her, and you're probably right. But by getting over her you will be able to have new, and probably better relationships, where there is mutual love.

 

This is just a suggestion... but don't feel like life is pointless because you're already damned to hell; God always forgives as long as you're willing to confess, apparently.

[Val]

awww you really shouldn't feel so down. Rejection, bad break ups, and being lied to, happens to all of us. Trust me I know, (read my post "Are All Guys Jerks?") Yes it's undesirable and the hurt we feel is more than any words could EVER describe. You don't mention what the girl did to you but unfortunately, there are many insensitve and egocentric people out there. However, you can't let THEM be the final chapter of your life! Go out and do something different. Join the gym or somekind of commercial youth group. If you hate ur life, change your old habits. It really isn't as hard as it looks. I'm only telling you this as someone who's gone through depression and am now as happy as ever to be here. Life was god's gift to you. By rejecting life you in reality rejecting god himself.

On a furhter note, you will meet someone new and you will love that much again. I don't think it's so much HER you miss more the RELATIONSHIP, which are completely two different things.

 

Hope you feel better soon,