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Why do dumpers say "Maybe we could get back togeather YEARS in the future?"


Tangz

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I was thinking about this. My ex said it to me and it looks likes like alot of other dumpees say their ex's said the same thing ... "Not right now but maybe years down the line?" or "maybe we could get back togeather years down the line"

 

Why would they say this? a Year or Years is quite a long time...a long time in which to meet someone new or heal and move on completely. My understanding is that If i dumped someone I wouldn't say it because the chances of me meeting someone else or moving on from that person completely during the "year(s)" in between are quite high. In my situation she said it with the intention of staying friends, so won't be removed from her life so maybe she thought if it was still around there would be a possibility?

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Yeah i got the exact same thing....down the road i could see us working but not now...yada yada and i just thought the same thing as you...what the heck is the point in saying that...obviously you're not going to feel the same years down the road....it's silly.

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The OP from the GIGS thread said most dumpers with GIGS usually say this.

 

I also think its a trend dumpers who still love the dumpee (i.e they are not over the dumpee) tend to say.

 

When me and my ex first go togeather we always knew we werent in it for life and both didnt expect it to last 4 years we would always say things like (during honeymoon stage of course when everything is cute and cuddly) "maybe we will meet later in life and get married?"... "i hope we do meet each other later in life and get serious" etc... I guess in my case she probably is still on that tip and hasnt actually realised that the chances of moving on are higher

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At least he didn't lead you on.

 

Not really. Every time I've tried to move on, he's always apologizing for being an * * * * * * * , and when I try to create some distance he does into the "I don't care anymore" phase. We're both idiots, but me especially so for getting so caught up in this drama.

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All it means is, "If I don't find someone better after getting laid by people other than you I'll consider getting back with you.....but I want to get laid by various other men or women for a few years before I comeback to you.

 

Many people are like....."Why hould I be stuck with this man when I had been offered to be with this sexy as...wealthy man I could get crap off....I mean if he treats me like **** I can always throw him to the curb and find someone else or go back to that person who loved me...."

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My current ex said that mumbo jumbo..."If we find each other again, then maybe it was meant to be...or let's be friends, and if something happens, cool."

 

His reasoning was because I couldn't have been his soulmate, cuz we met during bad timing. Which really ultimately means, you're not the right person.

 

When someone says something like that to you, you can do one of two things...hold onto the string desperately, or let it roll off your back and find someone who wants you all the time.

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my ex told me this after she said that it's better if we will break up:

 

That Im still the man that she wants to spent her whole life with (but why not for now?)

 

That we just need to let this things pass and we can get back together (why can't she try to face and fix our problems, she's always running away if we're having a problem)

 

That we can still be friends because we will still get back with each other (but why we need to be back to being friends?)

 

That she was still young and still wants so many things to happen (without me in her life?)

 

That we need to focus on ourself first for our future together (future together but why do we need to part ways?)

 

and That if we're meant to be, it will happen (no comment here)...

 

Those are the words that she said to me... How sweet but I wont buy it...

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You know I got that exact same thing, she told me after or during or divorce I cant remember "Maybe we will get remarried in a couple years from now". Eveyone thanks for explanation, I always wondered about that. Now I am pissed. Especially every thing did for her to get her into this country.

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One reason I've seen this said, "We could get back together sometime in the future." is because the dumpee was immature and needed time to grow up.

 

It's not the only reason I think that's said, but it's food for thought.

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My ex left me for someone else. The guy was moved into her house before I even moved my stuff out. After a couple months of them dating he left her and went back to his ex. She contacted me and told me how bad she was to me. After a week I contacted her. We even hung out a few times, but she seemed to be torn up about him.

 

This obviously messed with my head since I wanted nothing more than to get back together with her initially. Then I started dating someone new, and wanted nothing more than to move on and feel better. This confused me, and after a few meetings over the course of a month I asked her of her intentions.

 

She said something very similar to the other people on this thread. That she had been in a relationship for ten years with me, before that there was only a few months in between another relationship, and a few months before another. She stated how she needs to be single for a while, and get herself together. She said that we have a lot of things that are good together, and she honestly could see us working out together in the future, however, 'not right now'. I told her that these conversations were not fair to my current gf who I dated for only about a month, but that I am not anyone's plan B and need to move on, and can't continue like this. She stated that she understood. I felt very regretful later that evening, but we haven't talked in almost a year now (except recently via information on another thread).

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^ ^

 

Being a guy I have heard this from many women.

Not to just myself but from friends.

 

Makes me laugh how they try and make it sound okay..."I have been with you for X amount of years...." I need to find myself", "I need to sort my **** out", "I need to experience life"......

 

You know what those quotes mean?

 

I have found many men paying attention to me and wanting to date me.

Many times I have wanted to date these men but because I am stuck with you I could not.

While I have my looks and I have attractive men hitting on me I want to go with them without knowing that I am going to cheat on you.

I want to date other men because I am bored of being with just you.

You don't have anymore surprises or excitement for me anymore.

All the mysteries about you are no longer.

 

With a new man I can relive those things which get me off.

 

If those mysteries turn out to be nothing I like.....I can always dump him like I did you and find another man.

 

When I get tired of the sex and attention

When I find the men I went for are never as good as you were to me I will consider dating you again.

 

So in part I feel people who do this in a way resent you for being so perfect.

Not being able to fault you so they can either dump you legitimately or cheat on you.

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