Ex says she misses me

[Blackhawk2009]

So my ex and I have been broken up for about 4 months now and up till recently we haven't really been talking. About a month ago we cut off contact and no longer spoke to each other, she broke up with me. Last week she came by my work because she works upstairs from me and said something about how she broke up with her boyfriend a few days ago. Then when she left she gave me a hug and told me to text her. An hour later and she texted me..guess I didn't have to do anything.

 

Now we have been texting here and there back and forth and this morning she texted me saying "i miss you lets hang out soon" So we texted a bit more and then she said something like "I miss your mom because I was talking about my moms birthday.

 

I am going to see her today when I'm working because she said she is gonna come say hi but is she hinting at something to me or am I just over analyzing this whole situation here?

[sidehop]

Last week she came by my work because she works upstairs from me and said something about how she broke up with her boyfriend a few days ago. Then when she left she gave me a hug and told me to text her. An hour later and she texted me..guess I didn't have to do anything.

 

She broke up with you, dated another guy and broke up...then wants your attention? I just question her motives, she may miss you but is it because you two broke up or is it because of her last b/f. I would be cautious, don't look into it too far right now.

[DontGetStung]

Just let her know right off the bat, that you don't want to see her anymore unless she wants to reconcile. You seem very attached though, and I doubt you'll follow through with that, even if you do actually say it...sorry for my lack of faith in you and your situation.

[DN]

She broke up with you, dated another guy and broke up...then wants your attention? I just question her motives, she may miss you but is it because you two broke up or is it because of her last b/f. I would be cautious, don't look into it too far right now.

I agree with sidehop - you need to be extremely careful of her motives. Some people can't bear not to be in some sort of relationship.

[iBroken]

She broke up with you, dated another guy and broke up...then wants your attention? I just question her motives, she may miss you but is it because you two broke up or is it because of her last b/f. I would be cautious, don't look into it too far right now.

 

This ^

 

I dont want to always come off as negative but it appears that you are her back up plan. She is back in the scene now that she ended her redbound?

 

Tread lightly......

[Blackhawk2009]

Yea I am definitely going to stay back a bit for a little while and see where this goes. I am not really looking to get back with her until she can prove to me that it would be different. She broke up with me once what stops her from doing it again. I am not really in a position where I have much for other options so I am just kind of going with the flow.

[TryingVeryHard]

This ^

 

I dont want to always come off as negative but it appears that you are her back up plan. She is back in the scene now that she ended her redbound?

 

Tread lightly......

I've seen this type of advice given time and time again for this situation, and I understand the logic... But, what I don't understand is when WOULD be a good time to trust her motives?

 

What if it was just like a case of "GIGS"? and now that she's found out the grass isn't greener, she wants to come back...

 

Or are you guys saying to go for it, but just take it slow?

[Ms Darcy]

I've seen this type of advice given time and time again for this situation, and I understand the logic... But, what I don't understand is when WOULD be a good time to trust her motives?

 

What if it was just like a case of "GIGS"? and now that she's found out the grass isn't greener, she wants to come back...

 

Or are you guys saying to go for it, but just take it slow?

 

I think that's a good question. When she's actually had a chance to miss him. When there is time between her and a relationship; when she can say she misses him yet not have him immediately comfort her and communicate with her whenever she's feeling sad.

[iBroken]

In my opinion, the only good time is after the rebound has ended and the ex has been single for a while and has had enough time to reflect on things, relationships, friendships, life etc?

 

Otherwise, all she is doing is bouncing around to whoever will have her?

 

Sometimes we fear the unknown and being single. So when one relationship ends, we immediately panic and dont know where to go or what to do. For some, they go somewhere familiar. Back to an ex. If they continue this pattern, they arent making themselves happy, they are relying on others to make them happy. If this is the case, then their relationships are doomed to fail because as we all very well know, we cant rely on others to make us happy. Just ourselves.

 

I would say that if your ex showed up after breaking up with the rebound, Id stay away and let her run around on her own. If she lands in the arms of another man, be thankful it didnt happen again while she was with you or right after she broke up with you again

[TryingVeryHard]

It's like... I understand the logic, but what if she really does want to come back and then the guy stays away like you're advising, so she eventually decides, "well I tried, and he doesn't want me back, so I might as well look somewhere else"?

 

Then the guy will never know to what extent she really wanted him back and could've missed out...

 

I don't know... Just sayin..

[Blackhawk2009]

Well first off I feel like a complete idiot right now. We ended up hanging out, we went back to my campus after driving around, she was in my dorm, on my bed at one point. I did nothing! I wanted to kiss her so bad but I couldn't get myself to do it..I mean would she have at least made somewhat of a move?

 

Now I feel even worse than I did before because I did nothing and now I have no idea what her feelings are...ugh

[Ms Darcy]

You shouldn't feel bad. You are equating the physical with feelings. If you made a move and you two hooked up, that doesn't necessarily mean she would have wanted you back. It's best to talk to her if you want to know what her feelings are.

[jinxremoving]

I'd make her work damned hard to prove her feelings are genuine. She ditched you for another guy and comes back into your life pretty much as soon as things have petered out with him! You need to show her she can't just saunter back into your life as easy as 1, 2, 3. Personally, I don't think I could take someone back in that situation because I'm not sure I'd ever fully forgive her/believe she wasn't capable of doing it again and as they say, without trust there is nothing. I'd have a long hard think about this. Definitely keep your guard up and don't let her back in so easily.

[Blackhawk2009]

Yea I mean I really like her still, we hit it off so well even after not really seeing each other for months. The problem is I know what kind of person she is and we even joked about it last night. It's really taking a toll on my emotional stress though I feel like I was better off before hanging with her. I think I'm going to ask her if she would like to come over for a movie or maybe go out to a movie, preferably have her come over..but we shall see

[Ms Darcy]

The problem is I know what kind of person she is and we even joked about it last night.

 

What do you mean by that? That kinda sounds negative (since it's a problem).

 

By the way, just some advice - you probably won't take but I'll try - just because you have feelings for someone who is bad for you doesn't mean you need to pursue a relationship with her.

[Blackhawk2009]

What do you mean by that? That kinda sounds negative (since it's a problem).

 

By the way, just some advice - you probably won't take but I'll try - just because you have feelings for someone who is bad for you doesn't mean you need to pursue a relationship with her.

 

Well just that she kind of keeps her distance emotionally in relationships, I don't know how to explain it really. She is going to my college next year so we will probably be hanging out a lot but while I can stay friends there is this underlying emotion that I have when I am with her. She isn't a bad person or anything I think she is just at the point of her life where she just wants to have fun, not necessarily hooking up but not having to worry about someone all the time. Its unfortunate because we really do go with each other so well, comparing to my past girlfriends and even girls that I have met so far in my life.