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I'm 24 & he just turned 30. I've known him for about 2 months now, but we live in different cities. We've never done anything physical. Every once in a while we talk through text, but I usually initiate the convo. Whenever we see each other I feel like he might be interested but I'm not sure. For example, were at the same event last week and he:

*offered me his chair so I could sit down

*he saw me talking to another guy and seemed to get a little jealous; he came over by me, introduced himself to the guy, & joined the conversation

*put his arms around my waist while we were talking

*kept making direct eye contact & smiling

*when he wasn't by me I would catch him looking at me from accross the room

*he introduced me to some of his friends

*when I left he gave me a really long hug, kissed the top of my head, & ran his fingers through my hair

*he texted me later that I looked really pretty & he wants me to visit him soon

*he keeps saying he wants to cuddle with me


Now I haven't heard from him since. I tried sending him a quick text yesterday and he didn't respond. He normally does...so I don't know what I did wrong. To my knowledge, he's not the player type. I know that his last relationship was very serious and lasted 5 years. He's told me that's he shy with females he likes, but I feel like if he was interested he would at least put in a little effort. I think I've made it pretty clear that I like him. What could be going on?

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Well, I usually text him first, I think I act flirtatious with him (but nothing over the top I guess), I've driven out of my way to see him, I compliment him a lot, I welcome all his advances (like letting him put his arm around me)...I just feel like it's obvious that I'm into him. Maybe it's not?

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I have been in situations like this myself and they are very confusing. On one hand, the guy seems really interested, and then on the other hand, he hangs back. In these instances, I feel like this kind of guy relies on us, women, to pursue them. I have played this game and pursued but it never seems to work out. It's like they want to be pursued but then when you do, they don't want that either. I cannot figure out this kind of behavior. Wish I had advice for you.

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I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but I've dealt with this type of guy before. The eye contact, flirtations, compliments, random texts, kiss on the forehead, etc.

It seems as though these guys like the attention they're getting from us and knowing the fact that we like them. It's a boost to their ego. I bet he def knows you like him and he's eating it up. But it seems like (in my situation anyway), that he doesn't want a relationship or to commit. Try pulling away and see what happens.

Good luck!

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what did you reply to this?

I asked him when he wanted me to visit and he said sometime soon](*,) So I just told him that I would. I was going to see what he's doing next week because I'm going to be right near the area where he lives anyway. Now I haven't heard from him so I don't know if I should even mention this at all.

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