in my situation what are the chances of getting back together in a long distance relationship..

[lilyofthemount]

ok..heres my situation.. we are one month NC now. i am not sure if i am the dumpee or dumper.. i initiated the break up.. he agrees.. first we are both angry with each other then he called.. ask if i can just learned to relax and not freak out all the time. i replied by drawing the line of what i can tolerate and not.. he got more angry and told me its totally over and the second week we get calmer and agreed that we cant be in relationship at present.. after he called if we can just be freinds and take baby steps to see what happen.. he do want us to stay freinds.. i told him i cant be friend.. it doesnt seem right and was honest to tell him i either be his girlfriend exclusively or nothing at all.. he was so confused .. he thought i was jealus of his platonic girl friend which is in fairness i was kinda questoning his feeling and involvement.. he swear nothing will ever come between them but he wanted some space and be able to date other people not necesarily going serious.. since i am too faraway.. he admit he needed some real encounter with people..i dont seem to undestand wht he meant by that. I was having trouble trying to understand what he meant by that so i concluded i cant be just a girlfriend in the shelve holding my life while waiting for him till he come to terms with himself.. he was kind of angry and said better cutt off all ties..

after week we both email each other our goodbye letter..

in my letter i said only the future can tell if our path will cross again..

he replied by saying.. I encourage you to find your dreams and hope.. you deserve to be happy. I am not the right man at present and posibly not in the future since there are many changes happening..( he is in the process of divorce and he thought his divorce will be over now but it seem it will drag longer.. we already have plans of his coming to where i live (before the break up) but it seems many conflicting factors and he is struggling financially in his business because of his divorce so it seems he has many issues to deal with)

NOte: he said in his email" I am not the right man at present and posibly not in the future as I have said i see changes in me in many areas..i am learning about me a lot.. relationship. commitment..rebounds. I dont blame blame you for anything else but we are just in the wrong timing.

Now, my questions are;

are we totally done?

is there no second chance of reviving "US" ( I know for sure he care for me a lot,but he has many issues that is distracting him..or maybe i am just blind)

what does his email say about him.. i do appreciate your inputs and advice.. i am trying to do NC totally and would wait for him to call altho sometimes i am so tempted to contact..if i do..is it right.. when is the right time.. what are the right things to say..

please advice..thanks

[restingpieces]

I would say if you value his friendship, then it wouldn't hurt to keep in touch but otherwise, I'd suggest you acknowledging that this could quite possibly be it. Start focusing on you and rebuilding. It sounds like that is exactly what he is doing - to the point where he sees how timing was an issue.

 

Of course, I have no crystal ball and don't know if 4 years down the line he's suddenly going to be that man he doesn't feel he is currently? In my experiences, that usually really isn't ever the case. In our growth, things happen - life happens... which means he could really find someone he's able to make it work with and the same being true for you, too.