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Dissapointing my parents


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I began my first "real" job in Oct 09, and the first thing that came to my head when I got my first pay cheque was...now i can finally afford to save for a house! i've ALWAYS been intersted in real estate and i live in a city where real estate is quietly booming. It would be a great investment, and I hear this to no end from my parents as well.


They are just facing retirement and nothing would make them happier for me to buy a house. They'd like to help me work on it, and love helping me look. They also would like love to see me settle down and have a husband and kids.


Well, 6 months later..I have made an offer on one house and didn't get it...but I also had a huge realization...I don't like my job. Yes it pays the bills, but I also have compared my work day to a jail sentence.


I feel like no matter how well I plan out my life, I keep getting these curve balls...


I made the decision to move to Vancouver with a friend. We are leaving in June. I am quitting my job. I have money saved. I have never done anything spontaneous in my entire life, and I have always said that I would never be happy until I lived on the west coast (at least for a little while). Well, this has made my parents VERY unhappy. The thought of helping me with my new home excited my parents so much...I have totally crushed them. It's hard for them to be happy for me at all, because it seems I am being rash...which is true in a way...I need a change.


Anyway..it's been 3 weeks since I told them and my mom still sends me e-mails everyday of cute houses for sale in my area. Not only am I no longer intersted and wish they would let it die, but also it breaks my heart as well, because there is nothing i would like more than to a)make them happy, b)invest in real estate. But I am also willing to sacrifice that for at least a year of self-exploration in a different city.


How do I let go of this guilt of dissapointing them?

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They are your FAMILY... of course they want you to stay where you are because then they have you close to them. But when you move, they will accept that and they will be a little disappointed at first, only because you are far away, but they will still love you just the same and their disappointment will go away. Its difficult sometimes for parents to let their kids spread their wings, but it happens inevitably. When my little brother moved out here with me my parents were so unhappy with his decision, but they realized they had to accept it and let him live his own life.

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I agree with Blue Skittles. It is YOUR life, and I feel your parents will be happy for you, once they get over thei initial jolt of your going off for a year.. Are you an only child? I ask this, as they seem to concentrate their own happiness so much on you.


Many many young people now take a year, or more off, to explore the world, and themselves, before settling down. It is a healthy thing to do, broadens the mind, and presents opportunities that might not otherwise cross your path. Life is an adventure.

Not saying there is anything wrong about settling down eventually. IMO (forgive me LOL) but you are far too young to be thinking of getting married. Indeed nowadays few women (at least here in Europe) marry before they are thirty.


You are wise to consider investing in a house, as no matter where you go or travel, it is important to have your own roof. Could I also suggest that when you do buy your first home that you keep it in your own name. One never knows, believe me, what the future holds....and your own bolt-hole is vitally important.


I take it you will be working while in Vancouver? One way or another, we simply cannot foretell the future, less so can we control the future. Unexpected things may happen, your life may take a different route.

Do reassure your parents that you love them, that you will always be in contact.


Take care and good luck


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