Attracted to a shy guy possibly? [advice]

[aurevoir]

Did you see him following you to the store? That's a bit creepy imho if that's the case.

 

 

Or was it by coincidence you were both at the store?

 

Coincidence

but he seen me and i ran away (i couldn't help myself LOL)

then he browsed around the same aisle as me..

[Green Mile]

So now you're running away from him haha.

[Jake]

Aurevior running away is what shy people do lol! Don't tell me he's rubbing off on you and you're adopting shyness.

[aurevoir]

LOL! The sight of him was so...intense and i didn't know how to react so I ran away into another section of the grocery store.

 

Then he appeared again but i kept it cool.

geez maybe he is rubbing off on me

[aurevoir]

So now you're running away from him haha.

 

I didn't mean to.

Idk, I don't want him to think i'm weird or think "she's following me"

because I seriously wasn't..

[Jake]

It sounds to me like you're both in a stalemate on doing something and moving this further...

 

I vote you ask him out but realize I'm crazy lol!

[Green Mile]

Me too, otherwise you'll be running around for the rest of the year!

[Green Mile]

Now I'm a little confused as I've read elsewhere you already have a boyfriend?

[aurevoir]

Now I'm a little confused as I've read elsewhere you already have a boyfriend?

 

ex-boyfriend!

[aurevoir]

I would ask him out... i'd rather him do it though so i will wait

[Jake]

I would ask him out... i'd rather him do it though so i will wait

 

Well all I can say is if he's truly a very shy person he's going to be testing your patience because shy guys only have two actions. Slow motion and dead stop.

[Valentine]

Well all I can say is if he's truly a very shy person he's going to be testing your patience because shy guys only have two actions. Slow motion and dead stop.

 

well that's hopeful!

[Jake]

well that's hopeful!

 

I didn't mean to come accross as rude with my comment (if that's how it came accross), ...I'm just saying from what I know.

 

I mean who knows, maybe he will ask her out but all I'm saying is don't count on it because some (key word as everyone is different) shy guys have a super hard time in this area. I've seen shy guys get all sweaty and shaky before asking out the girl they like.

 

As for me personally back when I was a teen I crushed heavily on one particular girl. I couldn't approach her because I was so shy, she ended up in a relationship. Three years later they broke up and I finally could manage talking to her but I never flirted with her out of shyness and because I didn't know if she was going back to her EX. One month later they were back together.

 

Life is short, if I could go back in time and ask her out before that guy I would. But I can't.

 

 

-Jake

[Valentine]

I wasn't criticizing...i didn't come off as rude..it came off as true that's why it's not very hopeful. I am unfortunately very familiar with the "slow motion" one. Joy!

[G-Snap]

ex-boyfriend!

 

I'm with green mile here...your post was very vivid on a different thread today and spoke of your b/f in the present tense....confusing for sure. It didn't indicate past tense at all.

 

He is a nice guy. You are going to essentially reject him because of his looks?

Okay i know it can be a little bothersome... but my boyfriend when we first met, he was not the guy I expected to date - on a physical level - but then as time grew, I really got to know him and he is such a wonderful person lol! To think how I could ever let looks get in the way of finding someone special. He changed too, he wasn't quite the looker back then but wow, now he is HOT. Yes he is, and now he has a lot more woman trying to go out with him then before. But of course he's faithful to me and only me. And it's a good thing because I stayed with him and changed him and helped him grow as a person and he can't thank me enough. It's a huge reward. So stop being shallow and give it a chance. Im tired of females being way too demanding.

 

Doesnt sound like an ex? Saying he is faithful to you and only you isn't past tense.

[aurevoir]

Well all I can say is if he's truly a very shy person he's going to be testing your patience because shy guys only have two actions. Slow motion and dead stop.

 

That made me laugh ahahaha!

Eeeeeek, now he is showing more and more signs that he likes me.

I can just tell, yet i still need confirmation.

Like, that whole "i just bumped into a door i am too embarassed to turn around because the hot girl I like might laugh at me so i won't turn around and i am just going to walk quickly out the door like it never happened"

 

Check.

 

Or "The girl i really like i just don't want her to know is leaving.. i'll leave too but a minute after so she won't think I am following her. Oh damn she hasn't left yet, but she seen me. Do i run back up and pretend i went the wrong way.. no she'll think something. I'll just leave with her."

 

Check

 

"I know for a fact that is her voice. I know she's in the room next to me.. her voice is so cute. She has a cold? Maybe she gave me a cold too. Anyway I know it's her. But dammit I have to see what she is wearing, if her hair looks pretty again today. I have to look at her before I leave. Hm let me pretend to walk by looking for something - oh * * * * tttt she seen me, i better run."

 

LOLL

[aurevoir]

I think we both don't want to come out of this looking like idiots...............

He is shy, and I am shy to a certain degree. Only around people i am seriously attracted to. Its that "I dont really want to do something stupid I hope I don't mess it up!" thing lol

[G-Snap]

You created the thread/post below yesterday. Aurevoir, in my last post where I quoted your words about your b/f you spoke of him so fondly and he seems like such a nice guy, but you are pining away for shy guy in this thread. In fairness to your b/f, you should really choose and let the other one go. To answer your question you posed below, having chemistry feelings for another person while in a relationship isn't 'cheating' but to obsess about those feelings and try as hard as you are to get this other shy guys attention surely leads to emotional cheating, if it hasn't occurred already.

 

Alright,

How many of you have been in this situation before?

 

You are happy with your current relationship... 1,2,3 years of being with them. Things are fine, perfect even. You are completely content.

So why do you have this unexplained chemistry, or feelings for someone else?

It's not like you want to.. you just do?

 

Is that cheating? If you don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend?

And why are these feeling there in the first place? What if you chose not to act on them.. is that still cheating?

__________________

 

 

So no, if you choose not to act on them, it isn't cheating. But when you try very hard to get his attention and find out if he likes you, it is disrespectful to your b/f.

[aurevoir]

You created the thread/post below yesterday. Aurevoir, in my last post where I quoted your words about your b/f you spoke of him so fondly and he seems like such a nice guy, but you are pining away for shy guy in this thread. In fairness to your b/f, you should really choose and let the other one go. To answer your question you posed below, having chemistry feelings for another person while in a relationship isn't 'cheating' but to obsess about those feelings and try as hard as you are to get this other shy guys attention surely leads to emotional cheating, if it hasn't occurred already.

 

 

__________________

 

 

So no, if you choose not to act on them, it isn't cheating. But when you try very hard to get his attention and find out if he likes you, it is disrespectful to your b/f.

 

I was asking if it was cheating. I'm not with anybody at the moment.

Although my ex has spoken numerously of us trying to get back together.

I have mentioned another guy and what is going on. He doesn't care and he still wants a relationship with someone. I only asked that question because I wanted to know if it was cheating if I were to ever get back together with him yet still have some sort of chemistry with someone else.

 

He isn't my boyfriend, i've said this many times. Again for the last time I have told my ex, we are friends at the moment.

Is there anything else you would like to know?

[G-Snap]

I was asking if it was cheating. I'm not with anybody at the moment.

Although my ex has spoken numerously of us trying to get back together.

I have mentioned another guy and what is going on. He doesn't care and he still wants a relationship with someone. I only asked that question because I wanted to know if it was cheating if I were to ever get back together with him yet still have some sort of chemistry with someone else.

 

He isn't my boyfriend, i've said this many times. Again for the last time I have told my ex, we are friends at the moment.

Is there anything else you would like to know?

 

Like I said, it was curious and caused confusion since most people speak of ex's in the past tense.

[aurevoir]

Like I said, it was curious and caused confusion since most people speak of ex's in the past tense.

 

I'm sorry I am not like most people.

Oops..

 

Anyways i answered your curious questions. If you are not really going to be productive then.....

[Jake]

Honestly advice wise, for you and Valentin, I'd be willing to bet he'd move a little faster if you keep the pressure on. Meaning you consistently are "open" to him, talking to him and showing interest when he talks to you. You don't even have to flirt at all, just having a friendly conversation will make him feel happy and noticed by you. Making him feel noticed is huge, if you can do that you've greatly increased the chance that he'll gain confidence or at least momentum into asking you out.

 

Most shy guys have over reactive minds in that they over analyze...everything.

 

For example: If a girl I'm crushing on were to approach me and talk to me in a friendly way I'd think she's supper nice and I'd start to get my hopes up that maybe she likes me.

 

But this can quickly can go down the drain if the next time we're around each other and all she does is stare at me and not even say "hi" I WON'T think, " Hhhmm maybe she wants ME to approach her this time."

 

Rather I'll be thinking..."Why isn't she coming over to say hi? Oh crap I must've said something RETARDED when we last talked. Gah! She must hate me!"

 

 

Basically you'll have to approach him so much it'll feel like you're bugging him and he might even have the "oh crap" expression as you approach him but I can assure you that if he's shy and interested this will move things forward a lot faster. Don't let your negative thoughts get the best of you.

[aurevoir]

This is so true, and I have gone over that as well. I thought "maybe I am making him feel terrible. I say hi to him, he is happy, and then the next time I see him, I expect him to come up to me," and when I don't "crap, maybe she doesn't like me. ah i have to leave. no but i must look at her once more" HAHAHA!

 

I don't know, i consider even talking to him as flirting with him since I am attracted to him..

 

But i will take what you just said into heavy consideration..

[Valentine]

But this can quickly can go down the drain if the next time we're around each other and all she does is stare at me and not even say "hi" I WON'T think, " Hhhmm maybe she wants ME to approach her this time."

 

Rather I'll be thinking..."Why isn't she coming over to say hi? Oh crap I must've said something RETARDED when we last talked. Gah! She must hate me!"

 

LOL very funny...Thanks for the advice. I have tried this and now he always approaches me. But what I want to avoid is things leveling out as in getting stuck in the we're good friends and we talk often. I don't mind him taking his time asking me out as long as i see SOME indication that he's getting there.

[aurevoir]

LOL very funny...Thanks for the advice. I have tried this and now he always approaches me. But what I want to avoid is things leveling out as in getting stuck in the we're good friends and we talk often. I don't mind him taking his time asking me out as long as i see SOME indication that he's getting there.

 

Well geez at least he talks to you lOL