Attracted to a shy guy possibly? [advice]

[Pokemon]

i am a shy guy and find it hard to talk to people and make eye contact. sometimes when i see someone i know but not really friends with them i just pretend not to see them sometimes, or wait for them to say hi to me. its not like i dont want to say hi its just i am shy and quite, and im just scared if i say hi and they dont hear me or dont see me. i know it may sound silly but thats what i do. when i get to know people i can talk to them and say hi, but if they are with a bunch of friends i feel kinda scared to interrupt them, so i pretend not to see them.

 

i dont know if your friend is the same as me but he could have similar issues

[aurevoir]

i am a shy guy and find it hard to talk to people and make eye contact. sometimes when i see someone i know but not really friends with them i just pretend not to see them sometimes, or wait for them to say hi to me. its not like i dont want to say hi its just i am shy and quite, and im just scared if i say hi and they dont hear me or dont see me. i know it may sound silly but thats what i do. when i get to know people i can talk to them and say hi, but if they are with a bunch of friends i feel kinda scared to interrupt them, so i pretend not to see them.

 

i dont know if your friend is the same as me but he could have similar issues

 

 

Thankyou for sharing this. Its helpful, but we are not friends. At least not yet.

I am sure we have acknowledged each other, since we have come into contact several times for months. He knows who I am, and I know who is.

But i can't understand his behavior sometimes, that is why I came here to gather some well advice from the only people that know themselves - shy guys - I have nothing and absolutely nothing against guys. Or shy guys in general. I find them them the most intriguing. I want to get to know them, but as always, your behavior gives off the vibe that you do not want me around yet deep down inside you do.

[TheViking]

You really need to try to talk to him and ask him to do something. He sounds very interested, he's just shy. I'm a shy guy but not quite on that level, but I'm really confident he will say yes if you ask him to do something. You need to just do it, take what you want or you will let something that could be great slip by. Sure as a beautiful girl you will have all the chances you want, but what if this guy would treat you perfect if you just get past this initial issue??

[aurevoir]

You really need to try to talk to him and ask him to do something. He sounds very interested, he's just shy. I'm a shy guy but not quite on that level, but I'm really confident he will say yes if you ask him to do something. You need to just do it, take what you want or you will let something that could be great slip by. Sure as a beautiful girl you will have all the chances you want, but what if this guy would treat you perfect if you just get past this initial issue??

 

You are right. Everytime i think i can, something gets me.

By his actions i assume "ugh no use, he doesn't like me" then when im alone or with my friends.. it hits me. I guess I am afraid of rejection too?

 

It hurts, i play it in my mind. Try and talk to him, right. I can, i just need something to go off of.

[TheViking]

Go off of the fact that if he rejects you it's his loss, and you are going to have plenty of other guys to be with. There is literally a 99% chance of him saying yes to hanging out. You just have to go for it, you only live once.

[Jake]

You probably already know this but I'm going to state the obvious as it is important (imo).... Shy guys are very, complicated, most have little to none dating experience and most are extremely nervous around a women they find attractive. With that said my advice as others have suggested is to just talk to him like anybody else and slowly ease your interest in him as you get to know each other. Also like others have said he is very shy and him avoiding you is evidence of that (his butterflies are borderline anxiety I'm willing to bet). In all honesty if you want to wait for him to first approach understand that could take like...months. I would take action before tension builds up too great between you two.

 

For example, last year during the summer I got a new job. There was very pretty girl that was really shy. We basically "scared/intimidated" each other for 3 months till finally I got laid off and never got the chance approach her. Although I doubt I ever would've anyways.

 

 

-Jake

[aurevoir]

Go off of the fact that if he rejects you it's his loss, and you are going to have plenty of other guys to be with. There is literally a 99% chance of him saying yes to hanging out. You just have to go for it, you only live once.

 

I'm a little put off with that idea though... maybe i;m too traditional. Asking a guy out ahaha.

[TheViking]

I'm a little put off with that idea though... maybe i;m too traditional. Asking a guy out ahaha.

 

Well then it's simple, if you don't believe in asking a guy out you should probably move on to someone who will pursue you. It's obvious this guy is not going to be able to do it. Perhaps if you at least start forcing him to talk to you a little bit at a time he might work up the courage, but that may be tough to deal with for you, could be a waste of time.

[aurevoir]

Thing is, i know hes a great guy. Intimidating yes, but i know I am going to have to do something.

[aurevoir]

Wow what?

 

But avoiding someone... it's just bad. I know shy guys do this, but generally it makes me feel uneasy and it makes me feel like 'hey why am I even trying' he probably doesn't mean to do this, and may only find this as his only option for god knows what but it's upsetting lol.

 

He seems fine when he's around people. Still quiet but he seems fine. I wouldn't say borderline anxiety though

I dont wanna be rude and ask "so, hey whats up why are you avoiding me" cause that could make matters worse.

 

Haha wow I had NO idea things could get this complicated when really it should be simple lol

[aurevoir]

Might aswell just not show up period if you are going to avoid me...

[TheViking]

You just have to remember that it's not a normal guy, but a shy guy lol. So yeah avoiding is kind of bad but they can't help it and it's not meant in the way you are programmed to think.

 

I think he wants to be around you so bad so he shows up, but has to avoid you then lol.

[aurevoir]

Its cute and funny at the same time but when its actually happening i am left feeling confused almost hurt at the same time..

 

 

Right, i most approach lightly and with caution. because he is not normal ahaha. But um, i shouldn't try to be too... aggressive right? that'll scare him off too?

 

Cause it's like "yeah i like you but i'm gonna get away from you alright bye *walks out the room*" ..... o_O

[Jake]

Wow what?

 

But avoiding someone... it's just bad. I know shy guys do this, but generally it makes me feel uneasy and it makes me feel like 'hey why am I even trying' he probably doesn't mean to do this, and may only find this as his only option for god knows what but it's upsetting lol.

 

Sometimes when you like someone alot you do the reaction of, "oh my God there she is...run!!" It's unrational and makes no sense to me either but I still do it myself none the less.

 

 

He seems fine when he's around people. Still quiet but he seems fine. I wouldn't say borderline anxiety though

I dont wanna be rude and ask "so, hey whats up why are you avoiding me" cause that could make matters worse.

 

I don't know the guy you like in question so I can only use myself as an example. Personally how I "act" around people does not mean nada around a girl I fancy. Around people I'd say I'm pretty friendly, I don't say much but I'm not rude either. With friend's I'm really outgoing and just like to have fun but this all changes when I'm around a girl I really like. I just like, shutdown, I can't think, heck I can't breath, I overanalzye everything she does or says around me. Trust me, it doesn't look like it on the outside that you make him anxious but I bet you anything his heart is pounding.

 

 

That's why I suggest just getting to know him, it'll make him comfortable around you and inturn he won't be as nervous and jumpy around you.

 

If you really go for it and just ask him out he'll probably be flattered. Watch em turn redder then a fire truck lol!

 

 

 

Haha wow I had NO idea things could get this complicated when really it should be simple lol

 

I never knew dating wasn't complicated. Where do you live? I'm moving lol!

 

 

-Jake

[aurevoir]

I live in Canada ahaha, but I see what you are saying.

It's hard to tell sometimes but something is obviously there. If he has to act like that to me. It wasn't like that before, he'd be around me and all of that stuff. He would never say anything, but he'd be around. Sometimes a little too close, but still wouldn't say anything. Or he would talk to someone else to make himself be heard so i'd turn around to look at him. LOL!!!!! It's really cute.

 

I remember quite a few times, i'd come in and he'd notice me there.. within 10-20 minutes sometimes even 5, he'd bolt out of there. I go "whattttt?????? is there something on my face?" ahahaha.

[Jake]

He'll continue to be around you, "accidentally" appear where you are and then slip away when he gets too nervous.

 

You gotta go for it, trust me he won't do it himself. The more he likes you, the harder he will faint bahahaha! Okay... bad joke.

 

 

-Jake

 

 

PS: Here's an article that might be useful to you:

 

link removed

[aurevoir]

Faint? it seems like he's going to die or something.

like once he had this strange look on his face.

 

You shy men are cute, you fascinate me beyond belief.

 

 

Funny, i have always been bored easily of men. But shy guys always keep me going for some odd reason!

[Jake]

Faint? it seems like he's going to die or something.

like once he had this strange look on his face.

 

I was going to say die but I didn't want to scare you lol!

 

 

You shy men are cute, you fascinate me beyond belief.

 

 

Funny, i have always been bored easily of men. But shy guys always keep me going for some odd reason!

 

 

I'd really like to believe you but it seems where I live nobody likes shy people (men or women). I'd say I feel rather ignored, I don't think women like shy men to be honest with an exception of a few (like you and others on ENA).

 

But I'm okay with it because everybody has their own preferences in what they find attractive or who'd they want to date.

 

-Jake

[aurevoir]

I think most women these days especially just don't have patience, or they are not very...

perceptive to certain behaviors I think. I'm a visual person, i tend to notice a lot more then others. Sometimes this may come off as stalking LOL, but i assure you i am not.

I just tend to notice things much more then others, especially how people act.

 

I have no problem with shy guys. Shy people in general, i grow a little annoyed and at times want to give up but I don't. There is always something more to everyone and I think people should give everyone a chance, even if they aren't outgoing like most people. But that is my personal opinion, I guess not alot of people think this way. Its a wonder why they aren't in successful relationships. Its all about patience

 

 

shy guys especially... KEEPERS lol!

[Jake]

I think most women these days especially just don't have patience, or they are not very...

perceptive to certain behaviors I think. I'm a visual person, i tend to notice a lot more then others. Sometimes this may come off as stalking LOL, but i assure you i am not. I just tend to notice things much more then others, especially how people act.

 

Yeah I'm pretty visual too and notice things very quickly but I admit with girls I've fancied I can be so...dumb like totally blind and overdramatic as I tend to ride the emotional bandwagon far to quickly. I don't blame or expect women to pick up on the behavior of shy guys because most people around my age are inexperienced about just "traditional" dating rules....muchless shy people and how they act.

 

I have no problem with shy guys. Shy people in general, i grow a little annoyed and at times want to give up but I don't. There is always something more to everyone and I think people should give everyone a chance, even if they aren't outgoing like most people. But that is my personal opinion, I guess not alot of people think this way. Its a wonder why they aren't in successful relationships. Its all about patience

 

 

shy guys especially... KEEPERS lol!

 

 

People like action I guess, if he doesn't kiss you on the first date he's obviously gay.

 

My apologies I'm like leading you off tangent on what this thread is supposed to be about.

 

 

Anyways, goodluck with this guy.

 

 

 

-Jake

[aurevoir]

HAHAAH i actually thought he was gay..

[DN]

HAHAAH i actually thought he was gay..

That is a common misconception about shy guys.

 

But you have a problem here:

 

shy guy who can't ask you out and shy you who won't ask him out.

 

Either this is going nowhere or someone has to make a move. Since you are the one posting guess who is the only one of the two we can advise to make that move.

[aurevoir]

Hahaha it is? Everyone thinks shy guys are gay? Well it's my first assumption..

for awhile like in the beginning and then slowly, that idea went away just by what he was giving away and his behavior.

[DN]

Noy everyone thinks shy guys are gay - it just seems that a lot of women who aren't making headway with a guy or who are rejected outright assume he must be gay without considering other possibilities.

[Cyclic]

Noy everyone thinks shy guys are gay - it just seems that a lot of women who aren't making headway with a guy or who are rejected outright assume he must be gay without considering other possibilities.

 

Seriously annoying. I think it's a defense mechanism on their part so I try not to be too critical, but it still bugs me. Someone questioning my sexuality shouldn't bother me, but it does bother me that if I'm not a super confident outgoing male that I must be gay. I'm sure I shouldn't be incensed by it so much, but then it's insulting and simplistic all around to say the least.

 

...Sorry to thread jack.

 

As for your guy, I agree, it sounds like he has a thing for you... Don't take his actions personally. Us shy guys are pretty socially inept. Eventually experience & hindsight teaches us how wrong our perception was.