How to start attracting guys i actually like?

[arsenic_n_lace]

So here’s my problem, I only seem to attract guys who I like only as friends…

 

In the last year almost every single guy who I’ve met and who I’ve become friends with has started liking me and I think the reason is because I am completely and totally myself around guys who I see only as friends. I don’t care if I say something dumb or make a fool of myself in front of them. And I guess I act really friendly, which may come off as flirty at times which I can’t seem to be when I’m around a guy I like because I’m afraid of being rejected. Whereas when I act that way with friends there is no “rejection” so to speak because we’re friends only.

 

When I’m around a guy that I like though I start acting different and all of a sudden I don’t know what to say and I become shy because I don’t want to say the wrong thing, sound stupid and risk having them not like me anymore. And for some reason, even though I know I’m an attractive girl I always think that there’s no way the guy I like can ever like me.

 

Does anyone else have this problem? What do I do about it? Why do I get so self conscious around guys that I like?

[easyguy]

On average, how much time do you leave yourself between the moment you're attracted to (or notice) a guy and the moment you start talking to him?

 

I think the longer you wait, the more mental tension you build up, the more self-conscious you become, et cetera. The sooner you go in for the kill so to speak, the more careless you will be.

[arsenic_n_lace]

As soon as i'm attracted to the person physically i start acting weird.

[LLammas]

arsenic n lace, I have the same problem. I become hyper aware of every little thing I do or say when I'm around a guy I'm actually attracted to, which causes me to act totally awkward and flustered. On the other hand, I can hang out with and flirt with male friends who I have no attraction to.

 

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.

[arsenic_n_lace]

Ya it sucks not being able to be yourself around a guy you find attractive, when and if I find out they like me I'm usually a bit more at ease though which is good.

 

It also sucks having to tell your guy friends that you only like them as friends and don't want to date them all the time. It makes things awkward.

[Keyman]

It actually happens to us guys all the time too. And we don't want to have to be rejected by someone we like either, but the thing is, we have to get over it, because more often than not, a guy who acts shy and is unable to talk to women is considered to be lacking the balls, while a girl of the similar nature is just shy.

 

We all get rejected, ALL of us and if we all called up in a ball after each one, we'd never meet a nice girl. So, you need to step past the possibility of the risk and just do it.

 

You could always just make friends with the guys you like. Try to set your mind to thinking that they are just friends so that you can let your hair down around them. Then these cute guys can see how fun you are and will start falling all over themselves to talk to you and be your friend.

[easyguy]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Approach as soon as you can. The more time you leave to think about the outcome, the more "weird" you'll probably act. Doesn't mean I do it all the time, but I think that is the key to being more yourself around someone you like.

 

And embrace the awkward silences instead of letting them get in the way.