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Do I go to the work wedding???


paradiselost

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I was single for two and a half years when 4 months ago I started dating a lovely guy - the problem is that we work together - not in the same department but we have to liase.

 

I work in an extremely conservative, competitive, back stabbing profession - and this relationshiop will be considered clandestine, a breech of work ethics and it can only cause problems and which will be used to undermine me.

 

I have fallen in love and my boyfriend really is the guy of my dreams and we are both aware of what we are letting ourselves in for. For all that I cant help but be very hesitant to let my colleagues know - even though through the grapevines the rumours are there.

 

A colleague is getting married and invited me to the wedding - where my ultra conservative, brutal boss and his henchman will be.

 

Do I go with my boyfriend and make the relationship public as a result?

or

Do I miss the wedding and wait a bit more till I get used to this more?

or

Do I go to the wedding but not with my boyfriend?

 

I am just so nervous of the repercussions. Please everyone take a minute of your time and give me some advice.

 

Thanks

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If you think this is more than the honeymoon stage talking then go with him because it could lead to something better. If you are not sure then "meet" up at the wedding and sit together. Also are the rules at your place of work that co-workers can not date? Because if so then just meet each other there but if it say that you can date but you have to be in different departments then I say go with each other.

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Ive never understand the mo dating co workers rule except in the military. You spend most of yor lives with these people, relationships (positive and negative) are bound to form. My personal opinion is that you should trust your instinct, and you will have an opinion one way or the other.

 

If you believe this is the real deal- than go for it, but of you wan to wait a little, that's ok too, if he cares, he'll understand this.

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Here is what you do...if you know the bride well enough ask her if so and so can be your date if hes not already invited...if he is then you dont have to include her. But if hes not then ask her if he can be your unofficial date...that is just two singles that happened to be sitting at the same table and what not and the two of you could have a whole lot of fun playing with your dirty little secret teasing, tempting, and seducing, running around the back for some high school make out session...id say have fun with it.

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How about finding a new job?

 

what does your bf think? does he want to go?

 

my slightly cynical point of view is that of course you're crazy in love after dating for 4 months. but, it's too soon to know if it's going to last. it might be easier to invite him only if you guys are engaged to be married. that's how i feel anyways. i wouldn't want to bring a date to a wedding only to have someone ask me next year if we were still together, and we aren't.

 

i think asking the bride if she can 'officially' invite him might be a good idea (granted, if she is a friend, and not your coworker).

 

Finally, since the relationship is frowned upon or against the rules at your work, you should contact HR and talk to them about it. Have the relationship documented or whatever needs to be said.

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If your bf is invited too, I vote for a meetup at the wedding and happen to sit together. I am engaged to my coworker now, but when we first started dating we kept it a secret. We probably wouldn't have told anyone about it until we got engaged, but we got busted on facebook about 6 months into the relationship. I would say hold on a little more before you tell people, and I wouldn't tell people at all until you guys know for sure it's serious.

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