Cant handle it today

[Raistlin]

Last night I dreamt about my ex all night. Every time I woke up, id fall back into a dream with her in it. Loving me still, somehow. Mornings have always been the hardest time for me, due to my extreme anxiety issues, so I'm having a very difficult time not breaking down from work. I'm so flipping sad and I juust want to know it will all be ok... even though it won't. Nothing will be ok between us again. I want her back, but she has left no room for hope.

 

I want this pain to end. I called a therapist today that agreed to see me, just waiting for a call back to set up a first appointment. I'm so scared. And I feel so alone. Please help me.

[Raistlin]

I really really want to contact her. I'm at work crying on the sales floor because I can't keep it together

[fLuiD]

Remind yourself that you got through your day yesterday, and the day before. You can get through today. So this is a little 'hiccup' on the road to recovery. When you get some alone time today at home, come back on here and vent a little. Let your emotions out for a few minutes.

[MakestheBest]

Exactly @ fluid one foot in front of the other. Try to concentrate not on the whole DAY or the whole WEEK but each hour at a time. You will make it through...there is no way not to.

[Psinic]

Hey Mate,

 

I feel you - I too am having yet another bad day. So at least know your not alone. Have you spoke to anyone about how your feeling? I mean friends or family?

[easyguy]

Buddy, it'll be okay. You'll get through it.

 

I dreamt about my ex for 2 nights in a row and felt heavy as a cinder block those mornings. However intense those memories are, they will come and go and fade away sooner over time. Before you know it, you will have dreams that don't involve her. I felt very down at work the other night, and when I had some idle time, I just had to step out back and let out some tears, dry off, and go back inside. It's just up and down. I feel fine now, but who knows 8 hours from now. You've just got to hang with it.

 

I've posted this quote a couple time before on this forum, but I think it might be very helpful for you. A friend of mine sent it to me the other day:

 

"There are always moments when one feels empty and estranged. Such moments are most desirable for it means the soul has cast its moorings and is sailing for distant places. This is detachment - when the old is over and the new has not yet come. If you are afraid, the state may be distressing; but there is really nothing to be afraid of. Remember the instruction: whatever you come accross - go beyond." -Nisargadatta Maharaj

 

Mornings won't feel so bad after a while. You'll be up and down for a while, but it'll get progressively better. Just turn to your friends again and again. Call one up and go out for a drink, talk, be in the company of others. I've hung out with friends so much, I'm starting to get tired of talking about my break up. Let out your emotions when you feel it's necessary. Crying is good, but try to keep yourself together in public. In private, let it all out. Little things are going to remind you of her. It's just the way it is. I wish I could say I could change my reaction when certain images or objects came to mind.

 

Time is on your side.

[Raistlin]

Thank you all for responding. My friends and family know how I feel, except for me wanting to end my life. Not just because of this, but a large culmination o stuff. This is just the last straw.

 

I talked to my boss this morning because I was in tears. He offered to send me home but bein home alone, id do somethig stupid.

 

I just can't handle it today. This post is written with tears in my eyes. Ive done this before, but I don't want to this time. I just want it all to end.

[1guygirl]

yeah the dreams...i had night like that last nite...dream them, wake up only to dream again...awful....

 

but

 

try and see what messages are there...if any ?

 

i think counseling will help....you may get meds and while i hate mind meds in general (with a passion actually), sometimes they act as a crutch to get you back on your feet...but no way are they an answer

 

i wish you all the best, and jus sending you my thoughts and prayers...hope this grief subsides for you very soon

 

((())))

[Psinic]

Hey - you wont be home alone.. Log on and stay talking to us on here. We may not be in the room but we are real people and i think i speak for everyone here when I say weve got your back. Talk to us, vent to us.

 

I think the suggestion of counselling is good - i am awaiting my appointment, and i am on meds too. They aren't a solution, but seem to be lessening the wave of ok/distraught/ok/distraught i have been going through.

[Raistlin]

I called a counselor this morning. Waiting to hear back from her.

[Raistlin]

I was fine for a bit but its getting hard again

I have a feeling that ill end up starving myself again.