How do I respond to my hypochondriac grandmother?

[WomanWriter]

I live at home as I continue to look for full-time work. Part of my work is at home (in my own room with my own computer...thank God!). But for now I continue to have to put up with my neurotic, paranoid, hyper-negative grandmother. I am going crazy and these traits rub off on me so much when I am home.

 

Today she was yelling at her sister on the phone about having to take the cat to the animal shelter (to get rid of). The cat has been nervous and scratching herself a lot. My mom looked it up and found out that it is basically just a response to my grandma's loud negativity. It is constant.

 

I told my grandma she should talk in a peaceful voice but my grandma felt offended and started lecturing me in her harsh tone, telling me it was HER over the cat, etc. etc. I told her I wasn't saying anything about choosing her over the cat, I just want her to talk in a peaceful voice because her constant yelling and huffing and puffing is making everyone nervous.

 

She cried just because she had a cough! Every time someone else is sick, she thinks she has something worse and calls everyone she knows to "woe is me" about it. My mom has had major heart problems and instead of showing concern, she is whining about her cough constantly.

 

I have stopped responding to her. When she vents all her bs to me about "ohhhh,,, my cough....ohhhhh....this is horrible! Ohh...I feel terrible....ohhh...." I just start talking about something else or walk away. Then she gets mad and starts muttering to herself. I remind her that other people have coughs too...many elders from the church..and hers is not serious. She doesn't like that. She is mad that the doctor keeps telling her that her vision is fine and that she does not have dementia. She keeps trying to "prove" that she does and she cusses and mutters constantly whenever nobody takes her false symptoms seriously.

 

I wish I had a mute button for her...or at least a muzzle. I'm just sick of her interrupting my work. She barges into my room to whine about nothing in particular. If my mom got a catalog in the mail, she feels the need to b**** about it to me..."All these f-ing catalogs...wha wha wha"...I can't stand her whining!

 

How do I respond to her? I felt like telling her to f off this morning, but I know that will only make things worse.

[annie24]

hopefully you'll find work soon.

 

lol. i was just picturing, the next time your grandma complains about how sick she is, tell her that she is right, she's probably dying, and then pick up the phone book and start looking for a funeral home in front of her. maybe that will shut her up?

[WomanWriter]

hopefully you'll find work soon.

 

lol. i was just picturing, the next time your grandma complains about how sick she is, tell her that she is right, she's probably dying, and then pick up the phone book and start looking for a funeral home in front of her. maybe that will shut her up?

 

LOL...that sounds great. Maybe I'll move out first, then do that when I come back for a visit...hehe

[renaissancewoman101]

Is there any way for you to lock the door to your room, so she can't just come "barging" in like that?

[WomanWriter]

No, Ren. We aren't allowed to have locks on the door.

[renaissancewoman101]

No, Ren. We aren't allowed to have locks on the door.

 

If that's the case, I would just try to avoid being home as much as possible.

 

Is your computer a laptop? Take it to a coffee shop or something of that nature and do your work from there while enjoying a nice cuppa of coffee.

[russ978]

You need to adopt a stronger personality.

 

Many people simply won't allow themselves to be yelled at, cursed at, or allow others to weaken them with an overbearing personality.

 

Next time your grandmother speaks to you in such a strong tone, TELL her, do not suggest...TELL her, that she cannot speak to you like that and that if she wants you to listen to what she has to say, she needs to speak in an acceptable tone, without cursing, or you simply won't respond to what she has to say.

 

You're allowing her to control the situation, you don't have to, you should stand up for yourself.

[WomanWriter]

You need to adopt a stronger personality.

 

Many people simply won't allow themselves to be yelled at, cursed at, or allow others to weaken them with an overbearing personality.

 

Next time your grandmother speaks to you in such a strong tone, TELL her, do not suggest...TELL her, that she cannot speak to you like that and that if she wants you to listen to what she has to say, she needs to speak in an acceptable tone, without cursing, or you simply won't respond to what she has to say.

 

You're allowing her to control the situation, you don't have to, you should stand up for yourself.

 

You're right. She is used to nobody speaking up to her, as to not rock the boat! I will speak up.

[WomanWriter]

If that's the case, I would just try to avoid being home as much as possible.

 

Is your computer a laptop? Take it to a coffee shop or something of that nature and do your work from there while enjoying a nice cuppa of coffee.

 

Nah, just a desktop. Makes it hard. I could go to the library to look for jobs, but there is an hour limit and a lot of people looking for work! I would love to get a laptop, but you know what it's like when you don't have the money...

 

Thanks, though.

[annie24]

you know, part of me thinks she is a bored old woman looking for some attention. is she a member of any senior clubs? might be a good idea. sign her up for dance classes at the senior center or something. how much 'quality' time do you spend with her? i think she might just need some attention which is why she complains so much. well, almost all old people complain about how this hurts or that hurts or whatnot. i'd kind of work on filtering her out.