Indifferent

[justsomeguy1]

My mother just attempted suicide and I dont care.

 

She is bipolar and she has had manic episodes for most of my life, sometimes it's the cia after her. Other times it's jesus lives next door. She has been in and out of mental hospitals for awhile, she gets on some meds, she becomes normal and then she stops taking the meds and finally the circle repeats.

 

Today she said there was a holy war and dark arts were against her. My sister and I have been through this so many times and we have our own lives to live. My sisters husband has a tumor so she is stressed as it is. When mom called her she told her to go to the doctor and to get some help but this time she wasnt going to help her. I called her (mom) to find out whats going on and she told me what i said above. I told her the same thing that I was at work and I was not going to leave.

 

An hour ago my sister called me at work. She said mom had called her and told her she slit her wrists. This isnt the first time she tried to kill herself. My brother in law called 911, the dispatcher called my mom to tell he the police were on their way. By the time the police got there she was gone from her apartment. They found her under a stair well and as I write this we are waiting to hear back from the police explaining to tell us what the paramedics did. She is alive but we do not know if the whole cut wrist was a shallow cut, a cry for help if you will.

 

I know I should be worried or scared or something, I imagine that is what normal people would feel, but I dont. I dont think I am in shock, initially when I heard I was shaking but now I feel like I normally do.

[Seraphim]

Have you thought about why you lack compassion for your mother? Did you have some before?

[simply]

Thats because you expect it. I was the same way when my dad had his second heart attack. I seen it coming, he was over weight, smoked like a chimney, and was easily stressed about everything, so sure enough, I was in the living room playing some mario 64 was 14) when my mother was screaming that he was having a heart attack. The paramedics arrived and I was still playing the game....lol....of course I went to see him after.

 

I just think if your expecting the inevitable, you won't be so emotionally expressive once it does happen.

[Prongsie]

My moms bipolar and I've had to deal with her manic fits forever. A couple of weeks ago I found her on the bathroom floor, tryed to od. I was upset, not cuz ofwhat she did but because I just didn't care. That freaked me out. Then I realized it was cuz I knew it was gonna happen. I expected it. Doesn't mean you're a bad person. I'm sorry though, I know it isn't easy

[Dako]

A lifetime of dealing with her may have given you compassion fatigue at an early age.

I'm a softhearted guy but understand that limits exist.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Sounds like you are just exhausted by her. You feel she didn't actually try to kill herself and that this is the same two step dance you've been through before with her.

 

You're not a bad person for this. If she actually did kill herself, it'd take a while to sink in, but you'd feel it.