Betty79 Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 Ok so I have found a guy that I like via online dating. We have been emailing back and forth for a couple of weeks and seem to have a lot in common. We have made friends on facebook so he will have seen all my dodgy photos and vice versa! He is a really attractive guy. We have suggested meeting up this evening for a drink but i am just soooooo nervous I dont know if I can go through with it. It feels so much worse than arranging to go out with someone you met out in a bar / party, i dont know why. I guess its just the whole walking in looking for them thing and what if he doesn't think I am attractive or isn't interested. I really need some advice, I would like to meet him, I just hate doing it this way... Link to comment
Betty79 Posted March 6, 2010 Author Share Posted March 6, 2010 Also if I do go then how do I end the date, I mean even if it was going well I wouldn't want it to last more than about 2 hours max so what do I say to kind of wrap things up?? Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 yay! this is exciting! you know what - looking back on my online dating, me being nervous beforehand was always a good sign, because it meant that there was something there. the guys i wasn't nervous about, there was no chemistry, and i never heard from them again. even though i always tell people not to develop feelings before meeting them in real life, sometimes, you just know that something more is there. at least, that's how it was for me. i'm sure he'll find you attractive because he's already seen your photos. he wouldn't have asked you on a date if he didn't find you attractive. maybe you guys might not click, but you never know until you go!!! my advice to you is to relax!!!! and go on the date!!! do something relaxing before the date, whether it is exercising, doing yoga, shopping, take a nice bath. go pamper yourself. if i was very nervous before a date, i would have 1 glass of wine. not more, you don't want to show up on your date drunk!!!! that would be awful. if you are going for coffee, 2 hours is easy to do. if it's dinner and a movie, that's harder. what are your plans for the date? i sometimes would tell the guy that i had a lot of things to do in the morning so i had to get home. however, tomorrow is sunday, so he might not believe your excuse, lol. let us know how the date goes! Link to comment
Betty79 Posted March 6, 2010 Author Share Posted March 6, 2010 Well we are meeting in bar not too far from my house so I m happy with that, meeting him at 7.30pm. Think I will have a glass of wine to clam my nerves before I go and then I expect we will have a drink or two out and a chat. Other than that I dont know. I dont really want the first meeting to be too long though even if we are having a good time. Ohhh so scared but will update you tomorrow!!! Thanks Annie. Just hope the conversation flows, I can be a little shy at times when im nervous.. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 6, 2010 Share Posted March 6, 2010 well, around 9:30, just say that it's getting late, that you had fun with him. most people like to talk about themselves, so ask him some open-ended questions and just listen well. like asking about his favorite sports, vacation spots, plans for the summer, what his hobbies are.... Link to comment
Betty79 Posted March 6, 2010 Author Share Posted March 6, 2010 ok thanks annie you've been a great help, feeling a little better at the moment...2 hours to go, lol.. Link to comment
Betty79 Posted March 7, 2010 Author Share Posted March 7, 2010 Ok so i'm home and it all went well, he was nice looking, a little shorter than i imagined but good. We has drinks and stayed out for about 4 hours!! The conversation flowed and he kissed me too!! It was a good night. He text me when I got home so wait and see if i hear from him again now. There was nothing to be so worried about!!! Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 sounds like a really good first date!!!! (and yes, i've noticed that guys often are 2 inches shorter than their profiles say) Link to comment
Betty79 Posted March 21, 2010 Author Share Posted March 21, 2010 Well the first date went really well, which was a saturday, then i went away from wed to sunday (last sunday). He has text me pretty much everyday since the first date, apart from maybe one or two. However since I have been back this last week he hasn't suggested meeting up again. I did kind of casually ask about it and he said he would love to see me again but had been busy with work this week and is going back home for a long weekend this weekend (which i know is true as he mentioned it on the first date). He said he would like to see me though so hopefully meet up soon, but wasn't anymore specific than that. Anyway he is back home this wknd and haven't heard from him since friday, which isn't long I know so thats fine. However, I have noticed as well that he is still logging onto the online dating site. Of course i'm not expecting us to be exclusive to one another or anything like that as we've only had one date but I dont know, I just dont understand the constant contact, seeming so keen... What should I do from here? I kind of wanted to text him today just to say hi, see how his weekend is going but maybe I should just leave it up to him? I notice he has been on the dating site this morning? Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 since you brought up seeing him and again and he said he would like to, i would leave the ball in his court now. in the meantime, you should be continuing to date other men too. Link to comment
Betty79 Posted March 21, 2010 Author Share Posted March 21, 2010 Yeah its just difficult to find a whole load of other men to date Annie, im still looking on the dating site now and again and get quite a bit of interest but maybe I am too picky. I hate it when guys do this and come on really strong, contacting all the time so you get quite into them and then poof they dont want to know. How do I slow things down? I mean he initiated most of the contact and I responded as I would have felt bad not to and I was interested in him and liked him. Link to comment
Betty79 Posted March 24, 2010 Author Share Posted March 24, 2010 Well we text a bit on Monday and then it got late and he said he was off to bed but would text me tomorrow and hopefully see me this week but he didn't text me yesterday and haven't heard anything all day today. Its just confusing. Why say that if you dont mean it? He just seems really different now to how he has been the last few weeks. I text him back and said sounds good to me. I'm in bed now too. Let me know how you get on tomorrow (he was supposed to be finding out if he got a job which he had an interview for on Monday). I would really like to know how it went but I dont feel I can text him again as its all me making the effort then??? Thats kind of why I told him to let me know how he got on so I wouldn't feel unsure of if I had to text him or not. Should I just let this one go?? So disappointing... Link to comment
Betty79 Posted March 24, 2010 Author Share Posted March 24, 2010 I just couldnt let it go...i know im stupid but i text him and just asked how the job went. I deleted his number after that so if he doesn't respond then i wont do anything stupid again. I dont know I guess I'm just the type who needs it clearly spelt out. I know him not contacting me when he said he would means he isn't interested but yes silly me has to give it one last go to know for sure Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 24, 2010 Share Posted March 24, 2010 well, now you'll know! no response or lukewarm response, forget him. Link to comment
Betty79 Posted March 25, 2010 Author Share Posted March 25, 2010 He did respond but it was a couple of hours later, apologised for it being late and said he was doing work and had his phone on silent?! he told me about the job and then asked how my week was going...i haven't replied yet, mainly because i switched my phone off and went to sleep. I dont know, he was probably only replying to be polite as it still doesn't make up for the fact he didn't contact me when he said he would and haven't heard from hi the last few days. Link to comment
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