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Ex wants to be friends, but twist?

dietpepsi

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dietpepsi

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We were NC for about 2 1/2 months, broken up for 5, and recently we've been light contacting through email having casual convos. We work together, so we see each other all the time. But she always gets super nervous and awkward around me when we have to pass each other, and can never look me in the eye.

 

I sent her an email offering to buy her a birthday drink after work (her birthday is coming up) and let's catch up a bit, and that I was doing really well, and i wanted to know whats been going on in her life, and that I had a few things to share as well.

 

She said she really appreciates the offer, then she basically said the email conversations are the best she can give right now, and that she is not ready to see me face to face. She also didn't think adding alcohol into our conversations would be a good idea. She apologized, saying she can't help it, and that she did really care about me, and asked please don't take it personal that I'm not coming with you, I do care, but I am not ready to sit face to face. She said one day we will be able to have that drink, but right now it is something she just can't do. Email conversations are the most she can offer from her side of the friendship right now. She said "If you are ready to be face to face with me, you are a much stronger person than I."

 

I told her that i wished that wasn't the case, but I suppose I understand, I told her that real friendship needs to be 50/50, anything less feels like theatrics, and told her she knows where to find me if and when she feels more comfortable, and wished her well.

 

Well, then i went home, and she had blocked me from Facebook, and probably my phone number too...which she has done before, and then unblocked them on her own merit. I called her once in the last 4 months, and never added or talked to her on FB either... What gives? I am the dumpee here...Why am I taking this so much better than her??

 

 

edit: She made it crystal clear 3 months ago, that we were not going to be together, and she did not have feelings for me. But that she did want to be friends one day that she knew it would take time though.

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dietpepsi Apprentice

dietpepsi

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I don't get this. If a girl isn't in love with you, why would she be so torn up about it? Seems to me that she has issues.

 

Unless this is a girl thing. In which case, disregard.

 

 

Thats what i thought! She made it very clear she never wanted to be with me and didn't have feelings for me 3 months ago. Although the breakup was very sudden and had no signs it was going to happen. I had to take it at face value, because if i didn't i would have imploded.

 

 

When we pass each other, she uses the high pitched girly "excuse me"

I really don't get it, she can't even look me in the eye. I'm so confused.

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dietpepsi Apprentice

dietpepsi

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It could be that she blocked you because she doesn't want to see your updates or what you are up to. Just because she is the dumper, doesn't mean that it is easy for her.

 

 

That's true, she sure did make it sound easy however.

 

Either way, we weren't friends on FB, so we couldnt see each others updates etc. We don't travel in the same social circle whatsoever, because we met at work. So it is really beyond me why it matters, she did it right when she got home from work too the day i sent her that email.

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dietpepsi Apprentice

dietpepsi

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@theshoefairy

No, was no one else in her FB picture, I even told her that i hoped someone took her out and she had a good time on Valentines Day. She didn't comment on that either way.

 

@heartgoeson

I think she was being honest as well, which is why i told her she knew where to find me,but I'm just not sure as to why she can't even be face to face with me, even in the office to merely say Hi. I mean, I'm the dumpee, you would think i would be having a harder time with this than she is. I'm not sure if they're is someone else in her life, or she still has feelings for me. Either way it makes me confused because one way or the other she doesn't not care.

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dietpepsi Apprentice

dietpepsi

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Am I right in thinking that if it is something she did not want, she would say "I do not want to be friends, I do not wish for you to be a part of my life anymore"

 

I feel like i made my peace with the situation, although i still have feelings for her in a fond way, the burning romanticism has been subsiding for a while, mostly due to my forcing it to. It would have felt nice to just hang out, share and be friends. Now my mind is in overdrive trying to figure out the way she is acting and what it means.

 

Is she just trying to let me down nicely that she does not want a friendship?

 

Does she have regrets, and I remind her of them?

 

Does she want me back, and thinks I have moved on?

 

Does she think that we cannot be friends without it turning romantic?

 

 

in 8 months, we never really "fought" we had disagreements, but we both were able to squash them quickly.

I just don't know i guess.

 

 

 

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