My university flat mate is horrendous to me

[Mysterious Gurl]

Hello (:

 

Okay basically I live on campus with 6 other people. One of them Dave* is a complete douche. He literally comes in drunk about 2/3 times a week (depending) at 3am and hammers on my door, smears my door with crap, pins up porn pictures, throws objects at my door; just basically hammers so loud that it actually scares me a little. Okay fine I'm university, I can handle harmless pranks ... but he always picks ME. I'm a quiet "to myself" kind of person, I don't give anyone grief or problems and I constantly remain polite.

 

I can deal with a little teasing but he goes over board. I leant him some trainers which he lost and never replaced. He took my DVD and claimed I stole it from him and that I'm claiming it as mine. (Not true, it actually is mine).

 

I have tried talking to him but he doesn't listen. He just repeats his actions constantly.

 

The worst bit is his verbal abuse, he's called me some awful names (usually right outside my door) and I don't know if he's doing it because he knows I'm in my room and that I can hear him, or he does it because he thinks I'm not in. My other flatmates said he's a massive softy and that he's joking and means no harm. I don't feel that way. The issue with reporting him, is that it would make life very difficult for me, his girlfriend is on my course and is quite popular so she could make my life hell. If I did report it, it would be so obvious

it was me, even if I swear blind.

 

I admit I have retaliated to his behaviour by repeating what he does to me seeing as it is so very "harmless" and he sees the funny side. I just can't be bothered any more. I'm not a malicious person and I've never caused him harm. I actually get teary because of him.

 

Then most days when he's sober he's pleasant enough, says hello etc.

 

I'm confused and I don't know what to do. I can deal with university pranks, I was expecting it but this feels a bit more than a immature prank.

 

Advice?

 

Thanks,

 

MG x

[pinkelephant]

go speak to an RA.

[Rearden Metal]

You don't have an older brother, do you? Cuz maaaaan, I'd scare the holy **** out of Dave*.

 

I mean, where do you go to school? I might just do it for you.

[Rearden Metal]

But seriously, hit him in the face with a pie. Do it while he's sober. When he's drunk, use a frying pan.

[MikNomis]

If he's pleasant when he's sober, then you should definitely talk to him seriously when he's sober and ask if he knows that he's being totally rude and messed up to you when he's drunk. I have a friend like that, he is the absolute nicest person in the world sober but when he gets drunk he's so loud and cusses like no other and basically bothers everyone and wants to fight with someone sometimes too. I told him when he's sober that people are starting to not like him and not want to drink with him because of how he gets and he hates himself for it.

[samantha20]

I agree, talk to him when he's sober and on his own. People behave like children at uni because it is their first time away from home without mummy and daddy so they suddenly think omg I can do whatever I want. I remember when I was at uni one day everyone was stealing eachother's stuff and someone stole my duvet and wouldn't tell me where it was..made me really upset because I just wanted to go to sleep. You need to reason with or stand up to this guy one way or another. If he won't listen, try doing it to him. Hammer on his door when he's asleep. OR talk to his girlfriend, just ask her as a friend if she will ask her bf to stop being so mean to you.

[Mysterious Gurl]

I have tried to talk to Dave but it goes in one ear and out the other, it really does. He knocks on my door for smokes and I give them to him if it means he will leave me alone, I lend him DVD's but never get them back, he lost a pair of £25 trainers and never replaced them or gave me the money even though I asked continuously. I have stopped caving in to his wants but he is still persistent in harassing me in one form or another. I've had enough, he constantly shouts my name (literally repeating and shouting it) daily for no apparent reason. I really am at my wits end. Why me? Ok I'm a quiet one but I'm NOT unsociable, I'm not rude and I make every effort to make conversation with my flatmates. I'm not a massive drinker and clubs are not my scene. I go out and drink but not in clubs. I prefer quiet bars, cafes, jazz clubs or those grubby pubs you find on the corner that host open mic nights etc. That's my scene. I'm a little different from all my flatmates as in I'm the only one out the 7 of us who is public schooled and therefore I'm not high maintenance.

 

Why is he targeting me, he has a girlfriend who adores and does everything for. So it's not like he's picking me because he likes me ...

 

I have another term and a half of this ...

 

Am I being over sensitive when I say I get a bit teary of it? No one else seems to notice I might be upset over it, it's like it's just accepted because it's not happening to them ... they don't even ask if I'm ok or apologise.

MG X

[MikNomis]

You've tried to talk to him when he's sober? Blow up at him, not try to gently speak to him.