Another good news thread

[Psych]

Hey guys. You may remember me as that crazy lady who kept posting here with no concrete indicators of a possible reconciliation. Well, now I have them.

 

A few weeks back, my ex sent me yet another casual message on Facebook. Since my last meeting with him had set me back, I didn't bother to answer the message. Fast forward to Valentine's Day: I get another message. This one clearly states that he still loves me, made a big mistake, and wants a second chance. We've messaged back and forth a little, and he also says that he has never been one to want an ex back, and he thinks there is real potential for us. *Melt* I now have to name a time and place to meet and discuss.

 

Now for the hard part. From the threads I have read, I believe I must:

1.) Look hot.

2.) Take things very slow.

3.) Be the girl he fell for.

4.) Work towards fully understanding what caused the breakup, changing these things, and getting past it, so that I may be able to trust him again.

 

Did I miss anything? Any more words of wisdom for me?

[confused2010]

No words of wisdom, but I am happy for you. I hope things work out in your favor I don't know your story but am glad to see that getting back together does happen. As for me I can only hope right now.

 

Best Wishes with your meeting!

[Applewhite]

You must also

 

5) Be careful

[soulsearchin25]

Congratulations on this. i know you have to be feeling really good about his message. But don't be the girl he feel for. Be who you are now. Which Im sure is great. Dont try to go back. Show him that the girl you are now is even more fabulous!!! Really good luck

[Tanzi]

Congratulations Psych ... you have what many of us are still hoping for!

 

I think you are pretty much are spot on with your points but remember not to overdo things ... just remember to be you because whoever you are is what your ex found attractive in the first place.

[dazed_83]

5 - wear your lucky pants.

 

good luck

[red.ribbon]

That's fantastic!

 

Also, take it slow with sex, as much as you probably want to get to that part!

[Psych]

Thanks, everyone! Best of luck (and lucky pants to all!

[Diagonal]

Awesome news and great advice from everyone including the OP.

 

I'd say take things slow is the main one. It's very easy to jump the gun but the slower the better in my opinion.

 

Keep us posted,

[minou]

That's really great. How exciting! Be sure to relax, use your breath to stay in the present and keep you calm. Stay with your heart. Good luck.

[jaygirl]

Hey what was your story like? NC/LC? how long?

[Psych]

Hey what was your story like? NC/LC? how long?

Hi. My whole story can be found in my early threads.

 

He ended it at the end of October. There were 2 occasions VERY early on when i initiated contact, to clear the air. I then went into NIC (not initiating contact). I responded to his contact in a friendly, civil way, never bringing up the relationship. There were 2 occasions when he invited me to his house. I said no because I thought it would be too hard for me. The second time I said no, he persisted by inviting me out for coffee at a neutral location. I asked him why he wanted to see me and got a pretty ambiguous answer, but I didn't push the issue. I accepted the invitation (somewhat reluctantly, but I hoped to find out what he wanted), and got a few flirty signals (this was just after Christmas). He invited me out again a few weeks later, and I got signals that were even more mixed and weird (I kept my cool, which was tough). That was why I didn't answer the next time he messaged me (contact was confusing me and setting me back), and then came the Valentine's Day message.

 

When I hope to rekindle things, I'm not a believer in strict NC. You can't prove to someone that you're an open, caring, desireable person if you ignore them completely. I only ignored him when contact became too difficult for me (during that second meeting, he was telling me about a girl he dated since me, and was taking calls from some other girl he met at the bar. It seemed like he was moving on, and I couldn't watch).

 

Another interesting point: many people on here will strictly tell you to only meet up with your ex if they have told you they want you back. I didn't know what he wanted when I first went to meet him. I just learned the other day that he was missing having me in his life, and was trying to see if we could be friends. He said that when he spent time with me, it was the best time he had had since the breakup, and it brought back all his feelings, which was why he wanted to see me again. This could not have happened if I had refused to see him.

[jimmajam]

I really think this is how it should be done. I've never felt right about ignoring my ex...or anyone. I ignored one text through this all. My problem is that the last couple of months she hasn't reached out to me either. So while I'm in NIC she is putting me in NC.

 

Glad it's working out for you Psych!

[Psych]

I really think this is how it should be done. I've never felt right about ignoring my ex...or anyone. I ignored one text through this all. My problem is that the last couple of months she hasn't reached out to me either. So while I'm in NIC she is putting me in NC.

 

Glad it's working out for you Psych!

Thank you

 

How long have you been in NIC? Patience is key. Good luck to you.

[Brigadoon]

Congratulations! I agree with you about not initiating contact being the way to go, nice to see someone who agrees with me Good luck and keep us posted, I've been lurking around since July but I've only just started joining in