Racial profiling in online dating

[Fudgie]

For me, it just boils down to cultural differences. The Asian guy I dated did NOT fit any stereotypes. We just were raised differently and it showed. For example, he was raised in the more Eastern philosophy that one takes care of his parents when they age. I did not believe this, my parents always told me that they didn't want me to stick around and care for them; they wanted me to go out and have my own life.

 

Neither way is the "right way" so to speak. Just different. We argued on some things. He was offended by my more dry, sarcastic sense of humor. I felt like I was walking on freaking eggshells. Not fun.

 

Can you really blame me for being wary?

[teabee]

This conveys what I was trying to say way better. I really agree with this. I love the last line especially and I hope a lot of people pay attention to that. How the heck can you not be attracted to one ENTIRE race when people are so very different from one another, even within a race. Besides race is such an arbitrary classification of human beings. I've heard this many times in my sociology classes. I'll quote someone else since they have a better grasp on this than I do. Please read, it's very interesting:

 

link removed

"Human biological ‘races’ are, in fact, not a simple matter of scientific discovery but are imaginatively constructed through the arbitrary selection of criteria for validating preconceived notions of where one ‘race’ should end and another begin. This is why it’s possible to make up the number of ‘races’ which exist and make up the rules which determine which ‘race’ a person belongs to. While human phenotypic variations are real, and have much of their origins in geographically based ancestry, such variations exist in complex continuums; as an array of differences accross a spectrum of observable, and unobservable, characteristics.

 

We should acknowledge the fact that ‘racial’ appearances, as they are claimed, represent only a small number of the many genetically determined characteristics which make for human biological existence. We should acknowledge the fact that even the genetic origins which these privileged ‘racial’ appearances are identified as being based on, exist clinally and continuously accross continents and island chains. There are no actual lines in nature which draw a distinction between ‘white’ and ‘black’ races, or ‘Caucasoid’ and ‘Mongoloid’ races. Just as the criteria for determining what makes for the signifier of biological race is an invention, so the criteria for determining the points of division between such races are also a matter of invention."

 

There are more differences within races than between them, so I find it odd to declare oneself disinterested in all members of one race. It all comes down to the fact that people are so different, both in looks and personality, no matter what category they "belong" to, so I have trouble understanding how a person can look at another as acceptable or unacceptable for dating based on something as meaningless as race. Base it on the fact that you're not attracted to THAT person, and understand that not every member of that race looks, acts or is THAT way.

[teabee]

Actually, I've known guys who didn't date brunettes. I once liked a guy and he told me he didn't date brunettes.

 

Haha, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that there are people that limited in their preferences. I kind of hope he meets THE woman of his dreams, but she's a brunette that refuses to dye her hair

[sidehop]

For me, it just boils down to cultural differences.

 

Exactly. I think the more you immerse yourself to people from all walks of life you really start to get an idea what each person is like rather than having stereotypical views about people in general.

[rustyschackelf]

But people have the right to date whoever they want. And if they don't want to date people from another race, or a specific race than they have the right to do so. And if someone is doing online dating then why shouldn't they be allowed to not be matched with someone of said race, especially since matching them would be completely futile because the one person would have absolutely no interest in the other one. And I think you are off about white people comprising 90% of the US population, I think its more like 55%.

[Smythe]

But people have the right to date whoever they want. And if they don't want to date people from another race, or a specific race than they have the right to do so. And if someone is doing online dating then why shouldn't they be allowed to not be matched with someone of said race, especially since matching them would be completely futile because the one person would have absolutely no interest in the other one. And I think you are off about white people comprising 90% of the US population, I think its more like 55%.

 

Yes...date who you want. No one is limiting anyone except themselves.

 

You might be right about 55%, but I think you'd have to define what is white first.

[teabee]

But people have the right to date whoever they want. And if they don't want to date people from another race, or a specific race than they have the right to do so. And if someone is doing online dating then why shouldn't they be allowed to not be matched with someone of said race, especially since matching them would be completely futile because the one person would have absolutely no interest in the other one. And I think you are off about white people comprising 90% of the US population, I think its more like 55%.

 

I'm with Smythe, no one's telling anyone who to date. No one's saying people don't have the right to date whoever they want.