Why is there so many under age ppl having sex?

[JonnyG]

Time after time I see 14 year old (seems to be this age often), asking about sex and that they are planning to have sex then. What is the obsession with having it so young. The legal age in most places is 16 i believe. Now im not saying u can't get more intermit than a snog, but full on sex at 14 sounds a bit like kiddie sex to me (sick)

 

It wouldnt be as bad if it would appear like ppl knew what they were doing, or were doing it for the right reasons, but so many dont seem to.

 

I've seen many ppl think its ok to have sex as long as the guy pulls out before he cums. That is a great example of ppl at this young age not knowing what they are doing. I've seen someone say that he planned to go in only about "2cm, no more", and was saying that he didnt need a condom as he wouldn't be "going in fully". Once again another stupid mistake, and not only that but this was a girl who he met on the internet and either of them might have an STD, so they should were a condom regardless. I've seen ppl asking should they sleep some1 because their partners are pressuring them but they don't feel ready (under age ppl).

 

I lost my virginity at 17. At that time i was fully confident and felt mature enough. I knew what i was doing, and made sure i wore a condom. I reackon I would of been fine at probably 16 (legal age here in the UK), but at 14 , really is too young i reackon, i was still probably more interested in playing football than girls at that age.

 

What do others think?

[gribbbsktbll]

I totaly agree with you. I am only 16 and even think when people have sex in high school it is for the wrong reasons. My little brother who is in 7th grade (age 13) has a friend who got a friend pregnet in the same grade !! It seems to be happening to often these days. so i hope that kids these days know all the effects of sex before even thinking about it. i know i didn't know anything in middle school about sex.. let alone actually doing it.

[CrimsonRegret]

JonnyG,

I agree completely with you, and seeing as how I am near the age you specified I know first hand. Most of the people I went to school with lost their virginity at the age of 12 & 13, and this in my personal opinion was way too young, reguardless of maturity levels. I am sexually active to an extent, but it is always safe and I have been with my partner for well over a year. I blame alot of what you speak of on sexual education that our school systems provide. While most teenagers have already become sexually active, our school systems still teach "The only safe sex is no sex." When they should be teaching prevention and awareness. Not all people who are young are as stupid as some of the people you see post on here (the ones you quoted), some of them, like myself for example, happen to be very much in love with their partners and are cautious & safe. I am in no way defending the ignorant people, I am just defending those of us young persons who have respect for ourselves and are being smart about having sex. Well thats my opinion. Take care.

[gribbbsktbll]

I believe that at even age 15 you do not know what love is and be able to commit to something as personal and special and very emotional thing as sex.

[sweetharmony]

I am 25, but it is frightening that 12-16 year olds are having sex these days. When i was that age, I wasn't even thnking about sex. I lost my virginity at age 18. Even then, I didn't know what I was doing. I see these 12 yr old girls wearing sexy, Britney Spears outfits with g-strings hanging out of their low-riders (butt crack and breasts revealed) and I think it is highly inappropriate. There's a difference b/w dressing sexy and dressing slutty. dress slutty, and you will receivve the wrong attention. Many teens think they know what they're doing at that age. They think they know what love is- and they are safe. Honestly, when you begin having sex at age 13, likely you will be sleeping with a lot of people before your married- even if you have long-term relationships. the likelihood of getting married to the guy you slept with at age 13 is slim to none or w/ anyone you date up until the age of at least 22. Many girls are disillusioned and think that each partner may be the one and then give themselves for love. yeah, sex is fun for the girl too, but trust me girls, you don't want to give it up so easily. wait, wait, wait... wait to lose your virginiy and once you lose it, wait to give it up again (with the next guy of course). wait at least 2-3 mos (at least), until you are in a committed relationship, until you are positive the guy cares about you and you know will at least stick around for a while. I still wait 2-3 mos at 25, b/c I just don't want to give it to anyone. and I love sex! and be safe.

 

I'm not looking for a response, I am just venting at my frustrations and lecturing too.

[Mythical_Suicide]

I agree with you for the most part, but at the same time there is also alot of people your age and older who I could also say aren't mature enough to be having sex.

You say it's wrong for a 14-15 y/o to be having sex for the wrong reasons( and I couldn't agree more believe me!), same goes with these young teens getting pregnant time after time but at the same time, there's people your age that doesn't need to be having sex in my opinion for the same reasons if that's the case.. So instead of just "attacking" younger ones this post should be put out to anyone who isn't mature enough to have sex for the right reasons or mature enough to use protection or deal with the consequences.

 

 

-Mythical Suicide-

[1Adam12]

Just wait I predict in the next 5-10 years the number of reported cases of STD's among teens will jump high and of course there will be a news report here and there about "Oh how did this happen"..and blah blah blah..Well it's like Sweetharmony said you got teens running around showing off parts of their rear end and god knows what else to attract guys attention.

 

The whole world in my opinion has Britney Spears, Christina Aguiliera, Madonna, and those stupid Olsen Twins to blame for all of this..celebrities dress like they were attending a freak show and every one wants to be just like them so they dress like that too and when the celebs start talking about sex being "No big deal"..i think thats how Britney Spears said it once..the kids agree it's obviously No Big Deal..I mean Britney said that so it has to be right would be there only argument to defend it.

 

Phil

[JonnyG]

Mythical_Suicide

 

2 major factors here tho is that it is legal for ppl my age and older, while it is illegal for ppl at 14/15. And ppl my age and older generally know what they are doing more than the girls i highlighted in this topic. Theres no denying that the older u get the more knowlegable u get in terms of sex. Im not intending to "attack" anyone, more highlight the fact that on this forum there is an alarmingly large amount of ppl underage asking about sex and how to do things and whether they will even need a condom etc. There are more and more teenage pregancies due to the society we live in these days. The fact of the matter is the main reason these pregnacies are happening at this age is because many of these girls/boys don't know what they are doing it.

 

EDIT: I'll also add to this, that it is also ppl at my age and older who are paying in our taxes for these 14/15 year olds who get pregnant who then get council houses and child support.

 

I have to agree with u tho, there are of course ppl my age and older who are also poor of knowledge still when it comes to sex, and yes do it for the wrong reasons. But the consequences are easier to handle at this maturer age.

[VPixie]

I think it is a big problem that most young people having sex arn't educated about it. But that is what happens when the government believes that it is better to promote abstinence rather than education and birth control.

 

It is human nature to want to experience sex. I waited until the age of 17 too because I thought I was mature enough, and I was confidant enough, but because a lot of kids don't know what its all about, they either build it up to be this amazing crazy unimaginable experiance, or they boil it down to "its just what the cool kids are doing".

 

14 is a little young, but what can you do? The law doesn't mean anything, its not like you can enforse it. Parents can't do anything, they'll just breed a sex obsessed teenager if they lock them in their room.

[Mythical_Suicide]

 

 

First off, No it isn't always true that girls ur age know what they're doing more then girls my age.... And this is besides the point but yes in alot of states it is legal for 14-15 year olds to be having sex.

Also another thing .. yea you see more younger ones on here posting askin questions but you said yourself.. Just because someone is older they think they know everything or so much more and they dont ask!

 

But Anyway as people have said before in school they dont teach anything about protection, pregnancy, etc... And usually when they do start Sex Ed atleast in my school it wasnt til 8th grade after the fact that most the people I was in school with were already having sex.. So I myself personally think that since people have so much to say about teens having sex instead of posting it on a forum why dont you stand up and take it to the places that teach Sexual Education maybe once they are more informed teen pregnancies will go down, etc...

Cuz I think it's pretty sad that someone my age has to come onto the internet and ask advice about sex when they should be learning it in school and from their parents.

 

Blah! anyway that's just my .02

 

 

-Mythical Suicide-

[JonnyG]

Mythical, I did say "generally" girls/boys who are older know more than the girls/boys focused on in the topic (14/15). It makes sense, u will know more in 4 years than u do right now about sex and everything else in life etc.

 

U seem to b taking it quite personally, or maybe u just want to hav a good discussion . Im not meaning to offend anyone.

 

Its kinda amusing, i never got any sexual education basically. I learnt mine through magazines such as FHM, and by research. I was amazed at how little some of my friends knew when we were younger, as they obviously didnt do enough looking up themselves.

 

I agree, schools should teach it. But what i found incredibly amusing is the fact that if these ppl can work out where to stick it (so to speak), how do they not know the consquences? Do they think the babies just magically appear when girls want them? And these same ppl see on a regular basis condom machines in public loos, do they ever question what the point of them are? And sexual deseases??? Everyone from a young age basically knows that AIDS is sex related. Its amazing how little some ppl know.

[nosoul]

hi i m 14 and i don't plan on havin sex till i m married!! some 14 teen year olds like my self r just wondering about it because they hear about in school . i know alot of ppl in my grade that r not virgins and i m proud to say i m lol i can't see how anyone my age could have sex or even think about sex.when i do have sex i want it to be with the man i love night just some puppy love thing that happened in junoir high and what parent that has a kid when thier 20 and the kid asks them about their first what parent wants to tell their 14 or 13 or 12 even that they had sex when they were they age? i no i don't but thats just my opion.

[aireyc]

nosoul, let me congratulate you on several accounts. Browsing the responses in this thread was quite interesting. I wasn't checking names so I'm not naming anyone in particular, but I think it's ironic on how the older group is generally saying "yeah you'll learn more as you get older, I waited until I was 17/18 to have sex because I felt I was mature enough." You clearly weren't and I doubt most of you are ready now. Personally, I say wait until marriage. Why give it up to anyone you aren't truly DEDICATED to? Not waiting is saying "I can't control myself, I don't want to give it to just anyone, but I have this urge to just go all out. I guess it's ok if I know what I'm doing and the person MAY CARE FOR ME SOME. "

 

Now the reason I quote nosoul is quite simple. Remove the first sentence and the post seriously looks like a real young person posted it (take no offense nosoul, I love your post!). However, I praise nosoul since she actually makes sense. I agree that young people generally have no idea what they are doing. I blame this on parents and the media, not so much school. Yeh it's true that we learn more as we get older, but people in this day of age who don't know by 16 or so generally have problems. Not from experience mind you, but it's just we're constantly flooded with this negative vibe. As far as knowing what love is at 15, I can seriously say it IS possible to love someone. How do I know? Well I've had feelings for many people and had to opportunity to carry away, but I realized I never loved the person. It's more based on maturity than on knowledge. That is why, nosoul, I thank you for posting. Wait people! Think of what you're going to tell your kids! In the old days people were married at 14... but they were mature. People in this day and age GENERALLY aren't. I think we need to seriously focus on all possible consequences... not physical. Having sex with someone who isn't a lifelong partner can really screw your life up for good.

 

- Chris

[Ingrid]

As much as you don't like it for whatever reasons, these kids are free to do whatever they want, as long as they do not hurt another human being.

 

Sex is not bad per se. The reason why sex has been considered BAD, is because there is a lot of abuse of power related to sex (particularly older people towards younger).

 

However, in societies where there is more sexual repression (Arabic, Spanish and other 3rd world countries) there is actually more abuse, more exploitation of women, more prostitution, more rape. Women are nothing but servants.

 

Well, this is America and it is a good thing these kids feel free to have sex without feeling guilty or dirty about it.

 

If you want to contribute to society, you should teach them about safety and protection, but nobody has the right to repress them.

[aireyc]

Children are CHILDREN and they are not responsible for their actions. You can't throw a 12 year old in jail for having sex. However, their actions can cause many problems. One major problem is that of having a baby. It sucks for both the mother and baby because it won't be pretty either way. The "mother" will have a lot of pain if they go through with it then their lives will be screwed or they give the kid up for adoption -- I don't think thats fair. Now if they go for an abortion they are just killing the baby and that is certainly not fair. You have rights but you must realize the consequences.

 

As far as feeling bad, they should since they are ruining their own lives, that of their partner, and possibly that of their baby. Until you are responsible enough to support a child and deal with the emotional side of things (both for yourself, partner, and family) you should not be having sex. This country is free but there are limits.

[JonnyG]

nosoul, let me congratulate you on several accounts. Browsing the responses in this thread was quite interesting. I wasn't checking names so I'm not naming anyone in particular, but I think it's ironic on how the older group is generally saying "yeah you'll learn more as you get older, I waited until I was 17/18 to have sex because I felt I was mature enough." You clearly weren't and I doubt most of you are ready now.

 

Erm....ok. U give us that response in 3-4 years time. There is quite a difference between a 14 year old and a 17/18 year, physically and mentally. U will grow physically stronger and your body will adapt to become more ready for sexual activity. Mentally u will learn stuff far more advanced than u do at 14.

 

How can u say because ppl say they were mature enough at 17 (u are obviously referrring to ppl like myself) and ready for sex, that we "clearly weren't"????? I was far more mature and intelligent at 17 than i was at 14. I didn't even think about sex much at 14. And to say "I doubt most of you are ready now", thats just plain stupid. Like i said, u tell me this in 3-4 years time. And then tell me that in a further 4-5 years time when u reach 22 like myself.

 

The fact of the matter is u will only know how we suppose older (heh i aint that old ) ppl feel when u reach our age urself. And i almost guarantee u will agree with us "older" ppl

 

Almost finding it amusing been lectured by som1 who is only 15, who would appear to have no sexual experience otherwise the argument would be very hippocritical . Like i said, when u grow up, ur attitude will probably change. But we'll c. Thx for the opinion anyway.

 

EDIT: PS, having sex with som1 who isn't ur lifelong partner most definitely does not screw up ur life. statements like that my friend are what shows ur age How would u know if u haven't tried it? And if u have, and ur not marrying hewr, has it screwed up ur life?

[aireyc]

JonnyG,

 

Ok a few points I want to make to close my end of it. I don't want to argue over this but I do want you to understand a few things. I don't want to get too complicated explaining this to you, but as far as experience goes, I have had plenty. I know I don't (by far) have as much as you, but I have had my fair share. As you stated not so much myself but many of my friends (let me mention most of my friends are 20+ years old, mainly since I cannot stand the level of maturity of people my age) have had their lives ruined because of sex. One friend in particular is 21 years old and in college, he's very mature and knows what he wants to do with his life, yet he got carried away at a party, had PROTECTED sex, his partner got pregnant and had an abortion, and he talks to me about the mental pain he has gone through. Yes I know this is just one rare example, but I know many people (personally) who believe they are ready and clearly are not.

 

As I stated I was not referring to anyone in particular and I know many people are ready both physically and mentally at age 17 or 18. However, and I guess it is due to religious beliefs (I'm Catholic btw), I feel that anyone who has sex before a marriage is not ready for it. Hell, some married people aren't even ready for it. And I do realize your opinion on this, I just don't think that sex would be appropriate before matrimony. Once that special day does come, how is it any different than the person before? Is the marriage really that special? Personally I think not.

 

And finally I just wanted to point out your comment on getting lectured by someone younger than you. Sadly, and I so agree with you on this, 85% of the people my age have little maturity or valid reasoning. In this case, though, I'd call myself unique. People constantly criticize me for saying this but I honestly feel that I have come to a true understanding on my values/goals and the way I will look at things in the future. You may call me a nerd, weirdo, or whatever you want, but I have spent years studying the human mind, the ways people act in certain situations, all possible pros/cons of doing a wide variety of things. Many people don't understand my "goal" and call me a stupid, inexperienced kid, yet I believe otherwise. I respect your views and criticism of me since you don't really know my reasoning (If I lied about my age you may post otherwise), but I would hope you agree that the majority of people under 24 or so are NOT ready for sex. They may be legally old enough and have had years of "experience," but this does not mean they are ready. As you said, what YOU know compared to what someone 14 or 15 knows is way greater, but I would say in my particular case I'm "above par" and I kinda know what's going on. Don't take it personal, but the argument on age does offend me (yet I honestly understand your point).

 

- Chris

[laroxes]

There has been a lot of interest & opinions on this question & I think there are many reasons why children are having sex more now than in the past. Parents are not taking the time or responsibility to know what their children are doing or to educate them about sex. Society has gotten so permissive that to avoid offending anybody they overlook & allow everything. Sex is great but the media is more interested in shock value than morality & makes it so attractive to the public. The kids think that what they see on TV or the movies or in the magazines is normal. So they dress & act like their rock stars or attempt to live like their movie idols. Magazines like Cosmopolitan should be printing items like,"Different sex positions & touches to please your spouse," instead of "to please your boyfried". They think,"If Frasier can sleep with different women then it must be OK & acceptable." If I were 14 now I'm sure I'd want to know what the sexual experience was like & would find it easier to obtain.

[JonnyG]

A nice post there aireyc. And your post is most welcome whether it agrees or disagrees. U do sound mature for your age. I appreciate your views and I've responded to your PM.

[VPixie]

Aireyc I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school all my life, my grandmother was a nun, and I live in a family of religious people. It was obviouse from the beginning that was where your opinions were coming from.

 

I think it is sad that religion puts so much shame on sex, but then makes it up to be very beautiful under special circumstances. *If* you do hold out until you are married, you will be disappointed that you did. Sex isn't the craziest most wonderful oustanding experience that religion makes it out to be.

 

I think Jessica Simpson made a great comment when she was asked about her no sex rule in a recent magazine. She responded "Well, I think I may have gone a bit overboard with that..."

 

Sex is such a personal action/subject/emotion, that for you to base your opinion and decision on what someone else tells you to do, is the easy way out of thinking for yourself.

It has nothing to do with control. Thats like telling some one that because they arn't a vegitarian they are ruining their life and destroying their body and they have NO CONTROL.

 

(This is the opinion a lot of my Raw Foodist friends hold, and I think its a valid example right?)

 

You can talk about all the negative things that come along with sex. Pregnancy, STDs, hurt feelings and others. In the end, unexpected pregnancy and abortian can come during marraige too. If you are responsible you can prevent STDs. (don't sleep around. you don't need to bang the whole football team, use condoms, get on the pill, make sure you are in a relationship, not a one night stand)

 

You just sound like the 'sex has a price tag' lady, and she is definatly moving, but don't let fear control you.

 

If you want to show you have control over yourself, come up with your own boudries. not a pre-packaged boundry system given to you by the law, relgion or your parents. No one knows whats best for you but you. And if you honestly believe that you arn't ready for sex, then DON"T DO IT. However long that may last. That can be 6 months from now, or all the way till your wedding day. You can't tell, because you don't know how you will feel 6 months from now until your wedding day.

 

This is nothing personal, just another way of looking at things. I was a virgin until I fell in love. That came at 17 for me. I had plenty of opportunity before then, but those guys just wern't for me, they just wanted to get off. I waited until I was ready. Not until some one else told me I was ready.

[Sirus]

To be honest before coming to this site i had never though so many you people would be intrested in sex. I know at 14 i wasn't all that intrested in it. I spose ultimatly it is all down to that person to decide if they are ready. but you have got to ask yourself are these people doing it for the right reasons.

[VPixie]

Everyone should ask themselves if they are having sex for the right reasons. No one knows except that person. No one else can make it for you, and what is better for one person, may not be the best thing for the other.

 

If you have sex before marraige, or at a young age, it is not a 100% sure thing that it is going to "ruin" your life. It just might not be the best thing for you. But some people have sex at a young age, and don't think of it as strange, and don't have any negative consequences.

[aireyc]

Hey,

 

Yeah I agree with most of you and I think this whole idea is insane. However, I just wanted to respond to VPixie's comments, namely her criticism of "doing what you think is best for you and not letting others control you." Well just so you know, and as I stated in a previous post, mature people generally think things out before going through with things like sex. I have thought this out. Yes, I was raised in the Church but I don't always follow everything they say. I just happen to agree with their "no sex until marriage" law. As far as fear goes, I don't see why you wouldn't be afraid if you had any concept of what could happen. Fine, if you want to possibly contract a disease that's ok. But do you know what? If you wait until marriage (both partners) and you know your parents and your spouse's parents didn't have that disease, then it is IMPOSSIBLE for you to get it. NO RISK AT ALL. As far as abortions, generally you won't see that happening much. Once married you are probably mature enough to handle the situation and there's no need to wimp out. I think these argument are seriously invalid. Oh, and your point with saying it's not the best. It actually is if you wait, it just seems so many people are demoralized by what they see on tv and in magazines that they forget the true meaning of love. It seems so common to them they don't really see how it is special. This ability that man has to create OTHER HUMANS is just phenominal, and I feel from my heart that abusing this just for pleasure (outside of marriage) is wrong.

 

Kids generally never think of such concepts and that is why the world is in its current state.

 

- Chris

[EmptySoul]

I know many people do not agree with my choice to have sex at such a young age, but it is my choice. I am not naive about the results of my choices or anything else involving sex. I've spent a lot of time before I lost my virginity educating myself; I am not one of those girls who has bogus ideas about how not to get pregnant or thought about having sex just bc some d*** wanted them to. *sigh* i'm sorry, i know most 14 year old girls are not emotionally ready for it, but some may be and some have been, so they shouldnt be lumped into a big group and labeled as immature and irresponsible. it is each girls choice, and they will have to deal with the emotions and consequences resulting from their actions...

 

EmptySoul

[Mythical_Suicide]

i just wanna reply to the post that talks about waiting for marriage to have sex.. What are you gonna do when you are married? Have sex.. and a couple years down the road you are always stuck with the thought in the back of your head of what you're missing by only being with that one person.. That along can cause a marriage to break.. So While I agree you should atleast be in a serious relationship with the person you're having sex with I dont think it's necessary to wait til marriage.. But everyone has their views and opinions.

But I agree with EmptySoul and that's pretty much what I was trying to get out in my previous posts.. Because i'm not a virgin, I lost my virginity at 15 but I was smart and educated about what I was doing and I knew what I was getting myself into.. I used every type of protection available and to this day I still do.. So just because of someone's age doesn't mean anything.. Yes, there are immature 14 year olds that shouldnt be having sex but also 24 year olds out there that are just as immature when it comes to the situation and should be locked in a room and not allowed to have sex.

 

-Mythical Suicide-