Is it worth staying a "nice guy"...

[Keraron]

...when you know that the specific girl you like prefers "bad guys", and it is very likely that you can do something with her if you quit trying to be nice?

[shuttlefish]

Don't try to be anything at all - just be yourself. If she don't like that then too bad, she can get lost.

Have that attitude and you will, by default, be a so called "bad boy".

[HouseKitten]

If you're not naturally a stereotypical 'nice guy' then stop trying to be something you're not.

 

Be yourself. If she's attracted to that then great. If she's not then you're not meant to be together. You can't trick someone into liking you by being something you're not - it might work at first but you'll slip up eventually and they'll realise you're faking.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Too bad men strive to be bad boys to attract the dysfunctional women, and bad boys don't want to suddenly turn themselves around and become good guys to attract emotionally healthy women!

[matius]

I've never understood this, I'm a nice guy working to be a bad mofo and it ain't got nothing to do with acting like a "bad boy", that sounds lame to begin with. I guess bad boy translates to a shady male hooker that has a souped up Mini Cooper, yea.

 

Chicks that dig that are playing a different game, no interests or time for small minds.

[jettison]

Women who say they want "bad boys" don't understand what they want or what they're asking for. What women want is an assertive guy who will ask for what he wants in a straightforward way without messing around too much and making things unnecessarily complicated.

 

Often times, this kind of guy falls in the "bad boy" category, but the "bad boy" designation is merely an afterthought and not the cause. You can be a "good guy" and still ask for what you want, and be strong and fearless.

[jettison]

Too bad men strive to be bad boys to attract the dysfunctional women, and bad boys don't want to suddenly turn themselves around and become good guys to attract emotionally healthy women!

 

It is really too bad that we apply such simple labels to people and actually believe them. It's about as relevant as "good guys wear white, and bad guys wear black." Ian McKaye said it best when he said, "sometimes good guys don't wear white."

 

Beware the guy who calls himself a "good guy". It's doubtful that he is. Truly good people don't label themselves that way, nor feel the need to tell everyone who they are. They simply act the way they need to act, and then aren't afraid to be either understood or misunderstood. In summary, they are okay with who they are and don't need your validation. This makes them endlessly free to act according to their own moral compass.

[greywolf]

Real nice guys don't call themselves 'nice guys.' It's usually the pushovers that call themselves that. Work on being more confident and more assertive. You don't need to become a 'bad boy'.

[Scorpion Fury]

It is really too bad that we apply such simple labels to people and actually believe them. It's about as relevant as "good guys wear white, and bad guys wear black." Ian McKaye said it best when he said, "sometimes good guys don't wear white."

 

Beware the guy who calls himself a "good guy". It's doubtful that he is. Truly good people don't label themselves that way, nor feel the need to tell everyone who they are. They simply act the way they need to act, and then aren't afraid to be either understood or misunderstood. In summary, they are okay with who they are and don't need your validation. This makes them endlessly free to act according to their own moral compass.

 

Bravo, sir.

[Scorpion Fury]

Women who say they want "bad boys" don't understand what they want or what they're asking for. What women want is an assertive guy who will ask for what he wants in a straightforward way without messing around too much and making things unnecessarily complicated.

 

Often times, this kind of guy falls in the "bad boy" category, but the "bad boy" designation is merely an afterthought and not the cause. You can be a "good guy" and still ask for what you want, and be strong and fearless.

 

More bravo.

[matius]

When you think about it OP, it's pretty juvenile.

 

What can this girl offer besides her looks & a few scratches?

[GoneCrazy]

Being a nice then trying to be a bad boy aint gonna work out, its gonna back fire, you are a 'bad boy' or not. And yeah man i know what you mean it seems all the hot ones go for the bad ones.

[Malakh]

I am going to be in the minority and say that you should do what will get you the results that you want. If you think that being a "nice guy" is not getting you the women you want then I do not see anything wrong in you being a "bad guy" and get what you want.

 

But here is the thing though - Like others have mentioned you cannot "become" a bad guy if you are not one to start with. So approach this in a different way. Instead of trying to become a bad guy try to do certain things that bad guys typically do that land them the hot women. Things like being confident, not giving a damn about what others think, not caring for the woman at the beginning, not returning calls, being very sexual, not being available all the time etc can work in your favor. You essentially make her do the work for your attention instead of simply giving it to her.

 

I would strongly advise you to watch the movie "Spread" and see what Ashton Kutcher says and does. Good luck!

[greywolf]

Have you done this before, and did it work out?

[BriarRose]

Being a nice then trying to be a bad boy aint gonna work out, its gonna back fire, you are a 'bad boy' or not. And yeah man i know what you mean it seems all the hot ones go for the bad ones.

I agree. It's like me trying to play "bad girl". I could fake it for awhile, but ultimately my true colors would come out and he would see I wasn't like that.

[Malakh]

Have you done this before, and did it work out?

 

Yes, I got to date a girl last year by following some of the things that I mentioned. I did not "become a bad guy" but I displayed lot of confidence, did not call her too often, did not say things like "i like you", boldly made lot of moves during the date etc.

[BriarRose]

I just want to add this would most likely work for women, too, if the situation were reversed.

[Malakh]

I just want to add this would most likely work for women, too, if the situation were reversed.

 

That's my point. I think men should follow some rules just like how women follow "The Rules". This is not about being a bad person but rather successful in Dating.

[BriarRose]

That's my point. I think men should follow some rules just like how women follow "The Rules". This is not about being a bad person but rather successful in Dating.

I don't disagree, I just think it's hard for people to "fake" that, and eventually they cave. You cant really pretend to not care for someone. I think in the case of most "bad boys" and "bad girls", they are just that way until they meet someone they are head over heels for, then they are not so aloof anymore.

[Godless_Heathen]

I just want to add this would most likely work for women, too, if the situation were reversed.

It works so well it has a cliche name - "playing hard to get." It's a successful tactic for both men and women. My younger brother swore by it.

 

Almost as good is simply being yourself and having enough self confidence so you project the aura of being desirable without having to play mind games, or worry about "tactics." As a bonus, you'll attract someone who likes you for you, rather than someone who likes the facade you're projecting.

[Malakh]

I don't disagree, I just think it's hard for people to "fake" that, and eventually they cave. You cant really pretend to not care for someone. I think in the case of most "bad boys" and "bad girls", they are just that way until they meet someone they are head over heels for, then they are not so aloof anymore.

 

This is not about "faking" and putting on a false front. If I am not a confident man then I have to work at being more confident instead of telling myself that I am only faking it and eventually my true colors would come out. Just like how some women do not give sex for a while I think men should not give their love and affection for a while. I do not see anything wrong with it. Most bad guys would never care and fall in love with a woman soon.

[GoneCrazy]

I agree. It's like me trying to play "bad girl". I could fake it for awhile, but ultimately my true colors would come out and he would see I wasn't like that.

 

Yup, you can do somethings that might change you abit but you aint gonna change to someone different, specially when you fake it, it will unravel it self.

[Scorpion Fury]

Trying to fake being some sort of bad ass isn't gonna work. People will see through it and figure it out. Like bags of sand.

[shuttlefish]

Trying to fake being some sort of bad ass isn't gonna work. People will see through it and figure it out. Like bags of sand.

 

Bags of sand? how does that metaphor work exactly? I'm curious...like a pane of glass

[drewciouS281]

there are many definitions of bad guy or nice guy that have been convered on here. You can be both. Be a gentleman but be confident at the same time. walk with your head high, crack jokes at or with her. Dont give in to every move or gesture or remark she makes. Have mild attitude that you dont give a crap about anyone or anything. Some women consider this the bad guy attitude, some guys are just naturally like this. Do not change who you are for a woman entirely but you can spice things up a bit. Dont change yourself, just add and redefine yourself or as i call it "Finding yourself". Oh a persons style or clothing can give off a certain image as well.