I can't even kill myself

[James_C]

I recently had my beautiful fiancee end our relationship after four years of being together. Well, it was entirely my fault, I never appreciated how wonderful she was to me, and didn't realize what I was doing until it was too late. Two nights ago, I tried to end my life with a megadose of Ambien, Tramadol and alcohol. I ended up vomiting all over the place and sleeping for about 36 hours, and making her even more angry at me. The amount of stuff I took would have killed anyone else. It sound ridiculous I know, but the loss I feel is incredible. We have a home together, with three kids (all hers) and two cats. I have lost my family, and don't know where to turn or what to do. I know that when I move out, I will lose her forever. But if I don't get away from her, I will drive her away more. Everyone keeps telling me that I am not alone in my pain, that many others have gone through the same thing. But you know, that doesn't really make anything feel any better. I just feel like trying to kill myself again. I can't stop crying, and it feels like there is no hope for me anymore. I will never enjoy another Christmas (our anniversary), never enjoy going to the beach again (that's our place), all the happiness is just gone from everything. From anyone who has been through something similar, how do I make the pain go away? How do I make it better? I am so lost...

[Michael2]

Get a grip on yourself man.

 

Your friends are right, others have been through this.

 

You will make it through. But if you ever want to win her back, get your crap together. There is no excuse to attempt to take your own life, especially over a woman. You are better than that, and I hope you realize this.

 

You messed up, you took her for granted, do you really think this is the end? NO. It isnt. It is just the beginning. If you play your cards right, you will have a chance with her again.

[rusty_boi]

well after having 3 divorces in my family i have learned 1 thing if you stay and linger it does worse i mean she will need time 2 miss u 2 want you back if your there she cant miss you, you have to be strong and killing yourself is stupid how can you get her back if you are dead youll just put everyone through more pain, i think you should seek councilling and get some professional help

[MissJBug]

Sometimes you dont realize what you have until you loose it. Maybe you should consider this as a lesson learned? Why don't (if you havent already) try to talk to her about it, and if you are really serious and love her, tell her that you will change...and to give you one more chance, and that you promise not to disappoint her again.

 

If not, maybe its what you needed, or maybe... she just really needs a break from it all. It seems like she has a lot on her sholders right now.

[James_C]

Yes, she really needs a break from me. This I know. But I am terrified that she will be gone from me forever if I leave now. It's a catch-22, you know? And no, she will not give me another chance, we've already been over that a few times. She says that "right now, all she can offer me is friendship". The "right now" part is encouraging, but still. The only place I have to go is to my family in NY. We live in Georgia, a thousand miles away. So what the hell do I do? I can't afford my own place here. I need to finish school before she would even look at me again. Like I said, I'm just very lost and in a world of hurt right now. It's nice to have people to talk to that have gone through something similar, you know? Just talking a bit makes it feel a little better.