ex doesn't know what he wants

[Belle]

In an effort to move on from an ex that I broke up with about a month ago, I joined an internet site to meet people. I made the unfortunate discovery that he is on there too. Can someone give me insight as to what this means other than the obvious possibility? Looking at the competition I realize there isn't really any. However, for someone who was crazy about me one day and not so much the next, is this normal behavior for someone who got dumped? I tried to let him know that I wanted him back and he's unsure.

 

Really need some insight guys. I'm flabberghasted and feeling like God's just throwing me way too many curve balls. The moment I feel like I need to move on, there he is. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? AND WHAT IN THE HELL DOES IT MEAN?

 

Belle

[Rage]

Maybe this was ment to be !!!!!!

 

Why not remove your photo from your profile ( if you have one)..... and see if you can organize a date with him?!!!!!!!!!

[Belle]

Rage,

Well, I wouldn't respond to someone with no photo. And honestly, I don't want to contact him again. I am just trying to figure out if this is what happens when someone gets dumped.

 

Belle

[Athena]

I'm really confused.

 

You broke up with him,

You went onto an online service to meet people

He went onto an online service to meet people

 

You said "Can someone give me insight as to what this means other than the obvious possibility" what does WHAT mean?

 

"is this normal behavior for someone who got dumped" what behavior are you referring to?

 

-A

[Belle]

Athena,

I asked for another chance. I went online because although he wanted to see me the very next day after I called, once I committed the no no of talking about wanting him back he got skittish. Even if that's what he wanted, now he's not sure.

 

Does this mean he's moving on or licking his wounds to see if he still has it because he was rejected?

 

Belle

[princesa]

Belle,

 

if you guys broke up and the advice you get from everywhere is no contact, start dating again etc...then why not trying to find new people on the internet? I mean both of you.

I think internet is quite a good way to look for someone new...you don't really have to go out and flirt, you can do this from home. It's like sort of moving on without moving from home...Besides. You can always look around without really committing yourself to anything...?

 

Princesa

[Belle]

Princesa,

 

Yes, it is one avenue although I tend to prefer the face to face chemistry litmus test.

 

The only reason I'm doing the internet and no contact is to move on. He knows I want to try again and that I won't break up again if we get back together. Well, I think he does. What spooked me is that he won't tell me he doesn't want to try again even though I've asked him several times and he still contacts me on occasion almost to string me along to make sure that he can still have me back once he's done playing the field. Which is extremely goofy.

 

Belle

[DrNick]

Belle, from what I can gather from my situation (and I am in a similar situation, broke up with the ex and now she doesn't want me back), he is probably hurt and doesn't trust you anymore. The fact that he might still love you doesn't override the fact that you humiliated him and his ego is hurt. Despite your words, you've already broken up with him once, so why should he trust you this time? He is doing his best to move on, and you should let him. I've learnt that from my situation. No amount of begging, asking, cajoling or anything else will change someone's mind, at least not permanently. You need to stop talking to or seeing him for a while, get your own head into shape, and let him get his head into shape. He's on a dating service because he's trying to move on, trying to forget the pain. If you keep hassling him or overanalysing everything he does, you'll only entrench the pain more and decrease the chances of you getting back together. If you truly love him, set him free, and if he loves you, he will come back. Best of luck.