Sleep patterns after break up

[mark501]

I broke up for good with my ex in early-mid December. She went straight back on to dating sites, ne with the heading can't believe I'm still single"

 

I feel mentally stronger now and accepted I don't want her back. She wants to be friends but that's impossible at the moment, probably for good. Its about 20 days of N/C for me.

 

My sleep patterns are not good. I wake up at 2am, think of her, then drift back to sleep. When is this likely to change? I normally sleep well and deeply.

[furiouspsych]

I'd like to hear responses from ppl who've had this happen. Thankfully I never have woken up thinking of the ex, but I'd like to prevent it if I ever did. I'd try keeping a set sleeping pattern or even a sleep aid if u can take them. Maybe redirect ur thoughts if u find urself thinking of the ex when laying there.

[In the Dark]

It's seems so long ago since I had the sleeping issue after break up.

 

It took me about two months I think.

 

I do remember there were some days where I wouldn't sleep at all.

Staying up until 5am.

[gsxr104]

Why do we torture ourselves like this ?

[In the Dark]

Why do we torture ourselves like this ?

 

We are not torturing ourselves.

We are tortured by the memories given by someone we dearly loved, we are tortured because all the good memories are ruined.

 

We are tortured because we have lost a loved one.

[gsxr104]

We torture ourselves when we let ourselves get to a state of sleep deprivation. And it is a mental thing becuase one day we wake up and decide we're not going to do that anymore.

[In the Dark]

We let ourselves?

 

I remember forcing myself to get to sleep but my mind was racing though the pain I was suffering.

 

I did not want to be thinking about it.

But I could not go to sleep because of it.

 

It wasn't a choice to stay awake as I would have rather been asleep to take some moments away from thinking.

[Tasha1675]

My ex broke up with me in mid October and initially I had many sleepless nights where I'd just lie there thinking about him. I mostly remember my dreams too and since the day we ended I have dreamed about him almost every night! Sometimes we are talking in the dreams, sometimes I'm annoyed with him, sometimes I just see him in the street but I can't speak to him. We've had no contact since the break up and I think I dream about him so much because I miss him so much, he was a huge part of my life and now he is gone. 11 weeks on, I still wake up thinking about him but it's nowhere near as bad as it was. I guess all I am trying to say is it takes time, and although I am not over him yet, I do notice it gets a little easier every day. Not sure if that helps really but just thought I'd tell you how it's been for me

[gsxr104]

I see you're now speaking past tense. Right? And didn't you wake up one day and decide you weren't going to torture yourself over it any longer? I'm not saying there's anything weak about it, I'm just saying it's in our heads and one day we have had enough and then we can sleep. That's all.

[lillylil]

it's still fairly early days for me but my sleeping pattern is terrible at the moment and i too can't wait for a decent nights sleep. I seem to wake a few times during the night and panic sets in. That feeling of panic anxiety is almost becoming a phobia as it's soo painful! Every night since we split I wake and check my phone then try to sleep again. Its horrible.

 

It's difficult for me to imagine he'd be doing the same!

 

The logical part of me knows that this will pass in time so hang in there! We will get through it somehow

[Tasha1675]

Maybe it depends on how the relationship ended and stuff. I don't feel I am torturing myself as I really can't stop myself from thinking about him. I think about him far less than when the break up happened but he's still in my thoughts a lot. When he ended it he said he loved me but he was worried about a future with me and wasn't ready to make a commitment. It was a very sad break up as we were happy and really loved each other. (We both cried and hugged and kissed and it ust felt like we were being separated for no good reason - even though I realise him not being ready to settle down is a good reason!) I think as I feel I haven't had much closure, I still think about it a lot and I can't do anything to stop him entering my dreams!

[Philpo82]

Hey,

 

I have just found this post and it's something I'm dealing with at the moment. Is there any solution? I don't have a problem getting to sleep, I exercise regularly during the day and read before bed and this helps me doze off pretty quickly. The issue I have is as soon as I wake, usually in the early hours 3/4/5 am I'm done for! My mind instantly starts thinking of her and I find I rarely manage to get back to sleep. If I do, it's disrupted and full of weird dreams/nightmares that don't really give me rest anyway.

 

My alarm is set for 6.30am so it's not like I'm too far off getting there but this morning I woke up at 3am and today I'm shattered. I have a busy job and find it hard to concentrate when I'm this tired.

 

I have been NC since the break up at the start of the month. Some days are easier than others now but the lows seem to be worse because I'm not dealing with them constantly. Any advice, rather than just give it time, would be much appreciated. I don't really want to take sleeping pills.

 

Thanks