BIG mistake...

[TroubledTwenties]

Arg, I just posted yesterday

 

link removed

 

but now I have another problem...after the phone call from the ex...I started to get really depressed and started to think a lot about the relationship...which in turn caused me to relive old feelings, etc... (bad I know) and things only got worse from there. I wrote him an email (which is in STRICT VIOLATION) of the no contact rule but I dunno what came over me. So anyway, I wrote him an email...it told him how I was feeling, (that I missed him, and our house), it told him his phone calls only made me sad, it told him I still loved him, and it basically said all the things you're not supposed to say during no contact, but I felt it and I sent it.

 

Grr...then today I saw him on my lunch hour, I was trying to avoid him by taking lunch at a different time but ended up seeing him and his "new girl"...(whoa, feel like I was punched in the stomach)..for the email I sent and everything, it really doesn't matter, now I am so upset, mostly at myself for writing that letter, I should have known better....but why did my ex call me, what is the deal with that I mean he is such a jerk for calling me when he's got someone else, like I'm just his little toy (ok maybe I'm overreacting)..but still...I was doing fine then he calls....

I am sincerely obsessed or something...need help

[debisfun]

First of all, if you EVER get the urge to email or call him again, come on this site, read a book, rent a movie, take a walk, bake some cookies, go shopping, ANYTYHING. Take all that energy you are focusing on him and redirect it to YOU -- a much more worthy object!

 

But now that it's done, don't beat yourself up. It's over. Just start the clock over.

 

Oh -- do NOT take his calls! You've got caller ID, right? (if not, let it go to the machine). I realize that this is easy for me to say == I haven't yet had the "opportunity" to take a call from my ex (I *think* that's a good thing), so I don't know if I'll be able to take my own advice. It's so much easier to see destructive behaviour in other people than it is to recognize it in ourselves.

 

For example, I'm very tempted to drop my ex a pithy email letting him know that I'll be camping this weekend and that he's welcome to drop. I know it's silly and desparate and sick. But I still have the dream that he'll show up and the sappy music will start playing in the background and we'll have a great time. Sigh.

 

Good Luck. You WILL get through this and you'll come out better and wiser on the other end. I promise.

[TroubledTwenties]

Is my ex just an all time jerk then? For being so selfish with his needs that he doesn't take into consideration how I'm feeling? Punk...

 

I know I jsut have to stop answering the phone right? and I'll be ok?

[aha]

I've been following your post because it's so similar to mine.

 

Yes you will be ok. Deb is right.

 

Memorize this: Print it out, carry it with you.

 

if you EVER get the urge to email or call him again, come on this site, read a book, rent a movie, take a walk, bake some cookies, go shopping, ANYTYHING. Take all that energy you are focusing on him and redirect it to YOU -- A much more worthy object!

 

Good Luck, I know it doesn't seem like it, you will feel better.

[Hopingpraying]

TT,

 

DOH!!! I just was reading the other thread you posted yesterday and put this in there.....

 

MS,

 

I don't think putting your feelings out there are such a good idea. If he truly wants to get back with you then he is going to put himself out there. Otherwise pouring out your heart and soul may just give him a chance to step on you. I don't think that is what you want, wait for him to contact you again. If he does, let him know you need to know where this is headed, and what he wants. If he tells you he would like to get back together then you have your chance to tell him how you feel and where you would like to see the two of you.

 

Don't give him any more chances to hurt you. Its not worth it.

 

I wish I would of gotten to you with that before you sent the email, but don't be so hard on yourself, we all go through these moments of weakness. You are not obsessed, you are in love and this is all a normal part of getting over it.

A minor setback, nothing to beat yourself up over!! Vent to us. It is what we are here for!!