Why didn't he call?

[Betty79]

Ok so this might be a little silly but I met this guy in a bar on sat night. He didn't stop looking at me and smiling and all my friends said wow he really likes you. He came over and we chatted. He said some really sweet things and we kissed. He asked for my number and said he would call the next day. He went off with his friends then but bumped into him again later while we were dancing, again he kept looking at me all the time. He came over and offered me a drink, then he went back to his friends and was dancing with them and having a laugh. Anyway it was time for me to go and at the time he was chatting to someone else with his back to me so I thought I would leave him to it as didn't want to go over and interrupt and say I'm going now when we hadn't even spoken that much the second time around as we were both dancing with friends etc. I thought this was ok as he had my number by then anyway. Thing is its now 3 days later and I haven't heard from him. I am quite disappointed as he seemed lovely. Do you think I came accross as uninterested by leaving like that or is it just one of those things? It just seems really weird as he was so keen on the night. Unfortunately I didn't get his number!

[ModernTalking]

That certainly sounds irritating, and I've heard the situation many times before. Some of my friends have had a great time with a girl on a night out, only to have their calls and texts ignored afterwards.

 

If he does call/text today or tomorrow, it would like he was trying to play it cool and not appear too desperate.

 

It's another one of those situations where the advice will be to keep busy and don't think about waiting - I would also take some comfort in the fact that the responsibility is his alone if he's interested.

[thegirl_00]

Was he drunk? Is it possible that he lost the number or forgot he had it because he was drunk?

[Betty79]

Hi thanks for your replies. No he wasn't drunk neither of us drank much. He wouldn't have lost my number either as I put it in his phone and watched him save it. I keep thinking its my fault though for leaving like that but if he was really interested surely he would risk it and at least send a text or something? I don't think I will hear now. I think most people get in touch the next day or two when you have something to talk about..like did you have a good night. How are you feeling etc. and when he took my number he said I will call you tmrw so obviously wasn't too worried about playing it cool. Just really frustrating and disappointing as it seemed to go so well. Do you think its my fault?

[BriarRose]

I'm sure he didn't lose your number. But with that being said, give it to tonight (that will be 3 days). If he is interested, he will call. If not, he is either involved or not interested.

 

No, I don't think it's your fault at all. It happens. Could have a gf, could change his mind, could be anything.

[ModernTalking]

But with that being said, give it to tonight (that will be 3 days). If he is interested, he will call. If not, he is either involved or not interested.

 

Yeah, there's obviously that so called '3 day rule' which some guys adhere to. After tonight, I would write it off in your mind as it's really not worth losing sleep over - just move on. Certainly don't blame yourself though as it sounds like you did everything you could to show interest on the night.

[BriarRose]

I think a man meets a woman and just knows if he wants to see her again. If he feels this way, she will generally hear from him within a few days. I don't see it as a "rule" so much as just wanting to talk to someone and/or see her again.

[Ms Darcy]

Hi thanks for your replies. No he wasn't drunk neither of us drank much. He wouldn't have lost my number either as I put it in his phone and watched him save it. I keep thinking its my fault though for leaving like that but if he was really interested surely he would risk it and at least send a text or something? I don't think I will hear now. I think most people get in touch the next day or two when you have something to talk about..like did you have a good night. How are you feeling etc. and when he took my number he said I will call you tmrw so obviously wasn't too worried about playing it cool. Just really frustrating and disappointing as it seemed to go so well. Do you think its my fault?

 

Wow, hon, it's not worth the effort to make yourself feel guilty. Lots could be going on ... dating other women, really busy, whatever. But he simply lost interest. It's ok ... it's not like you knew each other. Move on and be happy.

[carbon]

I keep thinking its my fault though for leaving like that but if he was really interested surely he would risk it and at least send a text or something?

 

It's not your fault at all. There could be many possible reasons that he hasn't called. If he is interested, he will call. (Even if a woman seemed only mildly interested, if a man were really into her, he would call.)

 

You didn't do anything wrong - don't beat yourself up over this.

[Betty79]

Thanks so much for your replies...i feel a lot better now. I can accept him not calling, just thought i might have messed it up cos of my disappearing act x

[thegirl_00]

Hi thanks for your replies. No he wasn't drunk neither of us drank much. He wouldn't have lost my number either as I put it in his phone and watched him save it. I keep thinking its my fault though for leaving like that but if he was really interested surely he would risk it and at least send a text or something? I don't think I will hear now. I think most people get in touch the next day or two when you have something to talk about..like did you have a good night. How are you feeling etc. and when he took my number he said I will call you tmrw so obviously wasn't too worried about playing it cool. Just really frustrating and disappointing as it seemed to go so well. Do you think its my fault?

 

 

I have actually had people text me a week to two weeks later. I had actually forgotten about them by that time. I'm not too sure why people wait that long, but in my opinion they couldn't have been that interested if they were going to wait that long.

[BriarRose]

I have actually had people text me a week to two weeks later. I had actually forgotten about them by that time. I'm not too sure why people wait that long, but in my opinion they couldn't have been that interested if they were going to wait that long.

..

I agree !! For me it's not "will they call" so much as "when". It should be within 2-3 days.

[enixon]

I would also take some comfort in the fact that the responsibility is his alone if he's interested.

 

You didn't get his number, you've done this to your self. If you really liked him you should have exchanged numbers.

[Jpo]

I have gotten girls numbers at a bar/club and not called. I don't typically take those numbers that seriously, but I do call sometimes. I wouldn't take it personally. Usually it is more of an option for me if I am bored and nothing is going on that weekend. I don't really feel that much obligation to someone I have barely spoken a few sentences to.

 

One time I got a girls number who I planned to call the next day and the screen on my phone broke that night. I hadn't actually saved the number, just called it so it was on my recent list (was going to save it later), so they couldn't recover it when I got my new phone at the store. I actually ran into her two weeks later and told her my story... She didn't buy it lol.