Had sex with best friend, what now?

[Ladybug182]

My best guy friend and I have been friends for about five years. He moved out of town after high school so I didn't get to see him as much but we still kept in touch. It wasn't until I broke up with a boyfriend about a year and a half ago did we start to play games of truth of dare which would lead to some fooling around. Only on occasion would we casually hook up, like if he was in town for the weekend. Ive never cheated on any boyfriends with him but, he hasnt been faithful to his live in girlfriend. At the beginning of his relationship he fooled around with a few other girls but, I seem to be the only girl hes willing to cheat on his girlfriend with now. I have developed feelings for him and I think he has feelings for me too. The night before last, while he was in town and after a few drinks we took things even further and had sex. I have been wanting to do it with him for awhile, but now that we have, I am afraid it has changed things. I think we're both afraid to bring it up but I think we should talk about what happened. I really hope this didn't ruin our friendship. Help!

[MessyMind]

Are you worried about your "friend's" girlfriend?

[flyguy]

Ladybug:

Having sex with your best male friend should be better than having sex with anyone else.

Do you want the relationship to change or were you guys just goofing around.

You do realize that sex doesn't (typically) mean the same thing to men that it means to women (surprise)?

Why don't you just ask him, "What was it that happened the other night," and then after he tells you, you can tell him what you think is going on. Just go ahead and clear the air. It may not produce the results you want, but I guarantee it will PRODUCE results.

Good luck.

[osewa77]

I agree with him, basically.

 

I've never been able to understand the difference between "best guy friend" and "boyfriend" save by saying most people have lousy boyfriends

[bleeder]

Hi ladybug,

 

Issues like that should not be left unspoken. It will serve to be a stigma in future should your relationship with your guy friend moves a step further.

 

Discuss your feelings with him, hopefully he does too. It will be good if the both of you share similar directions in where your friendship is heading. Sex has happened, so there's no need to be coy about it. Lay your cards on the table and hopefully, a new beautiful relationship is in the waiting.

 

Good luck!

[Idontwanttohavetoregister]

Number one if you didn't/don't want things to change between you, you shouldn't have slept with him... cause sex changes things....it's not like a hi-five or somthing you said.....it's more so ...if you just want things to be the same stop dreaming.

 

Number two... communication is the key.... So you feel comfortable to sleep with him but not comfortable enough to talk to him about it? If it's love- you think of the other person FIRST not yourself -so if he's doing that and you're doing that as well ... a good conversation is in order.

 

Finally and i can't say this enough... don't just let it be....thinking it will blow over. If it's something you both weren't thinking about.... and accidentally happened...fine talk it over... get through it....

[vsecrets]

LadyBug...

This is a difficult one. I just got out of a two year 'friendship' with benefits if you will...and there is really no happy ending unless he is really into you and will be willing to leave his girl for you. The female gender tends to think with our hearts...and the men with that other head. Dont fall too much into it...and do try to save your friendship. I lost my friend over the whole situation and if I could go back in time I would have opted not to sleep with him. Communication is the key...its too late to go back and change what happened but if you can control the outcome with honesty...its sometimes worth it. Good luck.