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osewa77

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Everything posted by osewa77

  1. osewa77
    Hi, She does not want to go out with you; but she also does not want you to hate her. And based on what you said she has someone else who she may be considering a relationship with. She dropped the phone because she believed her statements were clear enough and you should have gotten the hint that she does not want any special male-female relationship with you. At least not at the moment. apparently At least that's the way things stand for now. She is simply saying "no". Keep us informed on your progress and try to clarify your story if you have been misunderstood. Regards.
  2. osewa77
    This may be the root of his problem: Most likely that he does not think the relationship ought to continue as a long distance relationship. But circumstances seem to dictate this, since he got a job so far from where you are and there is no saying where you will get a job. He does not know if what you have is strong enough or worth all the sacrifices that will be involved. Try to understand. I am so sure that if he was to get a job in the same city as you he would automaticaly change his decision.
  3. osewa77
    Can she be convinced (begged, whatever) to wait for you to prove yourself before the divorce? E.g. by completing the drug programme. Meanwhile you start trying to show more love. I do not know... but I just wish you best of luck. Being your wife for this long if there's nobody else she will come back if you are consistently "changed". Best Regards.
  4. osewa77
    Hi, Are you a high school student, university student, or worker? Did you meet him at work/school or somewhere else? These are the kind of details that will make the advice you receive more useful to you! Guys I know including myself usually respond well to knowing that a girl notices them and likes them. And we guys are not so particular about how we must get the information. For all we care, it could be a friend whispering "that girl has been smiling at you for ages. I think she's interested" So just organise ways for you to meet casually and once he knows you (after a few meetings) let the cat out of the bag casually/tactifully (without any pressure whatsoever) and leave him to make his move if he is in a position to make it. (single and looking Best of luck with your guy. but more information might give more useful responses.
  5. osewa77
    Hi, I agree that it would be better if you could give more information even if its painful to do so. Its important for you to be aware that there may be someone out there who is truly more compatible with you. Someone who would not require you to become someone you are not ("I tried so hard to fix our relationship, tried to do what he wants still he is not coming back"). I believe that what we all want is someone who would accept us for who we are. Let's face it, you would not be happy always having to do what he wants to keep him even if its not what you want. I am sorry about the loss. I know nothing we have said will make you feel better immediately. But if its possible for you to be patient with life, and try to see if there are some ways you can mature well, we have a lot of happy stories to hear from you. Hope this helps a bit.
  6. osewa77
    I think it means that you should try to move on with your life while not closing the door on her totally. She may or may not come back. who knows? A guy that is on the verge of slipping into the hands of someone else may be more attractive to her than someone sitting around waiting for her to make up her mind. Who knows!
  7. osewa77
    Hi, You probably need to talk to your boyfriend about the break. Ask him why he did what he did. Tell him what you felt and what you feel. And once you can understand each other fully and thoroughly, try to forgive. We all have our faults. Its good to know what your partner's limitations are and consciously avoid "hitting" them. But more importantly perhaps I/we feel your situation and believe you will get out of it in time. But try not to let your reaction make him feel his coming back is not worth it. Try to let him know that the difference is only because of the fears instilled in you because of his "break". I doubt that this would be all you would need to do, but it would be a start! Regards.
  8. osewa77
    I think subconsciously I almost deliberately refused to read the previous thread because I have too many situation where a gir cuts contact or behaves funny in other ways just because she is upset and refuses to mention why. I think there is a part of me that is unwilling to discover that some situations may arise where a girl would be justified in putting on the sort of behaviour I have suffered from often enough. I also think the guy's making an issue about bringing in a third party smells of a manipulative tendency. I suppose in 30 minutes to 24 hours I will be ready to read the previous post. Regards, me.
  9. osewa77
    Hi, Blocking someone is not the mature thing to do when trying to resolve a conflict. He probably was not sure that you were not reading his messages (most IM blocing is silent). You do not get a guy to apologize to you by driving him mad. and not telling him what he did wrong in a calm way. He is different. Regards, me.
  10. osewa77
    Hi, Perhaps you can just make sure you can try to understand what he is looking for by asking questions and trying not to be too emotional in responding. And try to communicate your feelings to him thoroughly. And once you have made your stand clear and explained everything to each other, it may take time for him to be able to reverse his decision again. So you would have to wait, I guess, to see what he finally decided. He probably also had to wait a lot waiting for those adverse conditions in th relationship to disappear before making the decision at the easiest time for himself (when you were away). So maybe its just your turn to be a bit patient with him? Whatever happens take heart because we care. Guys find it easier to do what they feel is the right thing even when their emotions say otherwise. So the way i see it once he has all the information he needs to change his mind the ball is in his court and patience is yours to practise. Regards, and please don't feel devastated just yet!
  11. osewa77
    Yes ... the fact that she brings up things you have done in the past, which might be unrelated with her real reason for wanting to leave you ... I have spent some time thinking about the issue of religion and it really it a big issue if your partner is very serious about it. Its so powerful because its supposed to be fundamental... I am sorry about this situation. When it comes to religion, I believe that's all one can do, because its a fundamental divide. Does this help? I doubt it ... didn't help me in a similar situation either!
  12. osewa77
    I think I know what its like to be shy. Just do what you have to do and your feelings of shyness will gradually go away. Be patient with yourself, but don't allow your inhibition to draw you back. Fight it by acting independently of your shy feelings and your system will learn not to be shy. I'm in the same proces myself, though i think I've made a lo of progres. Bye!
  13. osewa77
    Hey! I don't think its best for you to keep asking and asking. Why not try to just be the person you can be, try to calm down! Sooner or later she'll probably come up with the answer you're looking for. Cheers
  14. osewa77
    Show her you have changed. Persistently, lovingly, consistently. Don't give her any reason to doubt you, however small. Slowly, very slowly, perhaps too slowly for you, she is likely change her mind about you. She's obviously in shock. Please consider professional counseling for either you alone or both of you if she agrees (it can only help!). I wish you and you wife well. I hope you give her reason to get over the shock. Bye!
  15. osewa77
    Ask her, again, if she likes you, I guess. If you ask her to the prom, the worst thing that would happen is that you'll be refused. And it won't be the end of the world... good luck!
  16. osewa77
    These, apparently, are just the stages you have to go through in breaking up. Apparently you wish to have the process reversed but as long as the other guy is treating her well enough ...
  17. osewa77
    He has to learn to give and receive emotional support. Which isn't possible if he doesn't want to. Perhaps you can ask him? This thing runs very deep...
  18. osewa77
    Way to go, Gilgamesh! Way to go! I have nothing to say by the way of advice of course
  19. osewa77
    Why not work with the guy you have, commit to him, since you don't want to hurt him? Tell me the real reason why you decided to leave him to check out others. Why can't you be "just friends" with the other people you are "trying out" and remain with jjjason now? Let's know! Sound like you guys may already be back together
  20. osewa77
    What really do you want or expect from those girls: marriage? sex? intimacy?
  21. osewa77
    Tell us, step by step, all the things you're afraid of. We would like to help you get rid of the feelings that prevent you from going with your deepest wish.
  22. osewa77
    Hi! The way she feels is very simple: She hates/dislikes your friend because of the way he treated her (she was serious him, he was just having a nice time). You have a good relationship with him. There's a strain she feels in keeping a relationship with you. The strain will be very much increased if she gets even closer with you, so she can't afford it. Let me cut the psychobabble. I believe that she just can't commit to a more emotional relationship with you unless you 'break up' with this guy friend who has broken her heart in the past. You have to stop being his friend (afterall, the grounds for her objection is that she can't start a relationship with you since you're a friend of her former lover. Once you stop being friends with this guy, the situation she's avoiding will no longer exist). Trust me. There's a simple psychlogical principle involved here. You have to choose between the guy friend and this girl. She wants a relationship with you, under a certain condition. Break up with the guy, get the girl. I have a good feeling about this. Cheers!
  23. osewa77
    I love happy endings wherever I see them His habit of talking about Asian girls is probably just that - a bad habit. Help him break it, but be patient when he fails. Make it into a kind of game if possible (like he has to do something special for you whenever he forgets that he's not supposed to talk about Asian women). Realize that it takes longer to break a habit than to understand(as he already does) that is has to be broken. Appreciate the positive things he does and says, so he won't be preccupied with avoiding saying negative things. I think the teo of you are in for a happy relationship. Cheers!
  24. osewa77
    I agree with the person who said "don't change a winning team". Besides, one you get into the habit of "changing your qwwinning team" then who says you won't keep doing it to ever new person. he new girl and you will get bored with each other even sooner. Please try your best to recreate the passion in your old relationship; there are ways to do it. Besides, why are you not thinking of marriage at all? Which kind of girl decided to 'love' a guy that's already in a loving, stable relationship? If there are areas where you don't feel satisfied with your real g/f you can discuss them with her after obtaining her forgiveness for your affair. Please take the fair route, you'll find all the excitement you need if you seek advice concerning how to do that. Please!
  25. osewa77
    Hi! What was the nature of the fight? You need to get to the root of all the issues that led to the fight. You have to make sure both parties understand what really happened and there's a feeling of security that such a thing is not going to happen again. I don't think its primarily a matter of proving your love. You have to really get to the root of the conflict, understand and forgive each other for everything. Are you sorry for the part you played in the fight? Can we have the details so our suggestions can be more useful to you?
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