Is this it?

[baker53]

Yesterday my girlfriend and I of 3 years and 2 months broke up. She says that we are better friends than boyfriend and girlfriend, that she does not feel loved anymore, that she does not get the butterflies when I touch her anymore, and that the little important things in our relationship have stopped. We have broken up before and got back together and it was a nasty break up, with yelling and arguing, but this time it was different. It was a lot calmer, without any arguing, yelling, or much crying. After we broke up I tried to convince her to give us another chance but she nicely said "it was done." However after that we watched a movie together and she let me hold and cuddle her on the couch. We then ate and watched another movie and she let me hold and cuddle her again. After the movie she went to bed and surprisingly she let me stay at her place, I just did not sleep in the bed with her.

 

I did not sleep well that night and could not stop thinking how I could get her back. So before I left to go to school this morning I went into her room and crawled in the bed with her. She was half awake and I put my arms around her and I told her that “I loved her with all my heart and I was not going to let us end this easy. That I was there to fight through thick and thin, that I would give the world to her if I had it, and I would go to a relationship counselor if need be,” you get the idea. She then said “It’s not you that’s the big problem, it is how I feel. Let me go and miss you.” After that I cuddled her for a while, kissed her on the forehead and left. I felt good leaving because I thought there was still a chance for us and since she is being receptive of what I said.

 

She texted me later today saying “You left some clothes here, I’ll stop by before babysitting and drop them off and pick up my stuff and give you your key back.” This made me feel terrible and I told her “Not tonight, this is too new and I need a day or so.” She did not reply back.

 

Do you’ll think this is really it for us? I love her and I want to get her back but I am confused by the way she is acting. I can’t figure out if it is good or bad that she is letting me cuddle her and when we have broken up in the past, it was more of an argument not calm like this. She lives by herself and has no family down here and only a few friends. She has no one to spend Thanksgiving with and we were going to spend it at my parents’ house. Should I invite her over still or should I go over to her place and have a Thanksgiving of our own, or do nothing at all. She also mentioned that she hopes that somewhere down the road that we run into each other and we can have a relationship again, but that could be years away.

 

What should I do? I love her and just want to get her back.

[floods88]

i dont know if its the end for you.

 

but you have to hold back and let her miss you, like she said.

 

its going to be a tough journey from now on... but just let her be to make her own mind up.

[ritalintaker]

I agree with floods88...as hard as it is going to be, you must have no contact.

[sandy cheeks]

i dont know if its the end for you.

 

but you have to hold back and let her miss you, like she said.

 

its going to be a tough journey from now on... but just let her be to make her own mind up.

 

I agree completely. The more you try to hold on, the harder she will pull away. You can't make her feel a certain way. No matter how badly you want it. At the risk of sounding sappy, if it was meant to be, it will.

 

Best of luck and hang in there.

[arcadefire]

She is rejecting you. Flat out. If you keep hanging on, you'll just keep pushing her away. I'd just respect her wishes and let her go. She's made her mind and whatever you're doing, it won't get her back. Only she would need to convince herself that she wants you back.

[baker53]

Now when you say no contact do you mean NO contact at all, if so how? The problem is that we have class together tomorrow so we will have to see each other. How should I act when I see her? How long do I should I leave her alone? I'm afraid that she secretly wants me to do something over the top to win her back and relight that special feeling. I also feel bad that she is going to spend Thanksgiving all by herself.

[arcadefire]

You just ignore her. When she asks, just tell her it hurts too much. And leave it at that.

 

I wouldn't think too much about Thanksgiving and such. That's her issue that she obviously didn't think about when she broke up with you. And whether or not she secretly wants you to "win her back", maybe she doesn't. Who knows. All you need to know is that you need to move on and work on yourself!

[baker53]

Ok I saw her in class today it I feel like it was not awkward. I got there before she did and when she came into class she sat down next to me. She mentioned that she would like to get her stuff from my apartment but I told her not now. She then jokingly said "but you have my good hair brush," and that was it. I cracked a few jokes and made her laugh some as well. While the class was going on noticed that she was shadin in the word Love on her paper that she previously drew. Which made me wonder why would she do that?

 

After class I asked her to walk to my car with me because I left something in there and she agreed. We had our next class together as well so we walked with each other again. However on the way she called her dad and was upset because her dad wants to buy her a plane ticket to go home for Christmas and she wants to drive.

 

The second class that we had together did not last long. We walked with each other back to our cars, and while doing so she called her mom to talk about the plane ticket. When we had to go our separate ways I just waved bye to her and walked away. She got and her car and finished her conversation with her mom. I felt like I had to say bye to her in a better way so I went up to her car and said "Just wanted to say bye to you and hope you have a good Thanksgiving." She replied "Thanks you too." She then said that she was killing time for a little bit so I asked her if she wanted to go get something to eat. She said no, and I told her that was fine,said bye, and walked away.

 

Is there any insight of how she feels form the way she acted today? I still can't figure out why she let me cuddle her all day Sunday and Monday morning. Could you'll give me your opinion on that and why she is acting different this time we broke up.

[OptomisticGirl]

I am the every optomistic person (hence the name) and always hold out hope. When you guys were walking to the cars, was she on the phone the whole time? Or did you guys actually talk?

 

It could have been her way of avoiding akwardness by doing something else with you there rather then say you guys walk in silence. She didn't say NO to anything you asked so I would take that as a good sign. Just keep in the back of your mind that it could also mean she's more advanced in the stages, which is what I am dealing with.

 

Keep us posted baker!