what the f%$#

[cuddlebug]

this is not going to be too pleasant a post, but i wanna vent.

 

WHAT THE F%$#. why is life so messed up? why do people love each other then it ends? why is there pain? why did this happen? there is no reason - it just effing sucks. it's a nightmare. it's an effing effing effing nightmare. i'm really angry - i want there to be a purpose to life and there doesn't seem to be. i've been trying for years, and love = failure after failure. sometimes when there is absolutely no point to things failing. when i didn't do anything wrong. when there is no sense in it. when two people are compatible but life decides to be f%$#ed up and attract the person i love to god-knows-what-else that is not me, and i have pain as a result.

 

so i keep trying, keep doing pointless things to improve work/health/appearance/ability-to-make-funny-jokes/whatever, and i'll keep on trying until i don't feel like trying anymore. trying trying trying. failing failing failing. it's just so pointless and messed up.

 

i guess many of us are in the same boat...

 

it's still a nightmare. grrrrrrrrrrr.

 

and, y'know, i'm grateful to have youth and health and enough money and no REAL tragedy, but it still freaking sucks. it's not an awful debilitating pain, it's just a dull pain. i wish there was a purpose, and i wish love were real. and if love isn't real, then i wish something were real and good and worthwhile.

[celiaroae100]

how long were you together for?

[supercalifragilistic]

My thoughts exactly. Why do these things have to happen? What can I possibly learn from being the best I can be, allowing myself to fall in love with someone and really let go only to be DUMPED with for no real reason!

 

What is there to learn? I should fall in love? Never believe in the relationship and truly let go until there's a promise of marriage. WHAT THE HELL!!!!

 

This time I can even feel "good" that my ex left me because he apparently wants to take his life to a whole new direction. He is 25 going on 15 while I want to be 26 and enjoy my current age doing responsible things that will take me somewhere.

 

I wish there was an explanation. Why did he change? He wasn't always like this. Why did this have to happen?? Life is not looking too great right now.

[LazyDaisy]

Sometimes you can't see the reasons until later. I had my heart ripped out by someone I was crazy in love with, and then a few years later I was seeing someone new and I became pregnant and had my son. I don't even really ever think about that guy anymore.

[DenverBachelor]

i wish there was a purpose, and i wish love were real. and if love isn't real, then i wish something were real and good and worthwhile.

 

Ok, who invited you to the party? I'm just kidding I'll try to touch on the core issues behind your words.

 

First of all, it is called life. When we signed up for it, we knew that we were coming into a cold, hard physical world filled with challenges, adversity, pain and suffering, etc. We're constantly struggling with the concept of whether there is a God (at least I have). We constantly ask ourselves what the ultimate meaning to life is and why we even bother living in a world that can become so lopsided.

 

What you are referring to is called "existential depression." People with high intelligence almost always suffer from some form or degree of it. That's because a lot of us see through the BS and reach for deeper meaning while, many times, there just is none.

 

One of the greatest realizations I have ever experienced is not living my life and my relationships as some sort of roadmap but living within the experiences themselves. We all need security and a constant in our lives. For many of us, that is achieved within a relationship. We look at our significant other as a constant when in reality they are changing constantly, too.

 

The best analogy I can come up with is using my present experience right now. I'm on a bus headed to Boulder for another fun day at work. I live in Denver. During the bus ride, people get on and people get off at each stop. Life is the ultimate bus ride. Sometimes people get on the bus and sit next to us (relationships). As time moves forward, sometimes they get up and leave. The bus pulls away and we just sit there with our nose pressed against the window wondering why they left -- but the bus continues on. We do this over and over again in our lives. We make friends on the bus and they, too, will eventually get off at some point.

 

But this is a bus with an unknown destination. It just continues onward into the deep depths of time. Some day it will be your turn to depart the bus of life. By adapting my views so that I embrace the moment instead of embracing the timeline, I am in a much better position to appreciate the ride. I am in a better position to understand that it isn't the destination that matters, but how we act and love during the journey.

 

Everyone has to answer these questions for themselves but ultimately you will find the answers that work for your life.

 

Good luck!

[celiaroae100]

i agree with lazydaisy, explanations can take ages to become clear

[celiaroae100]

nicely said DenverBachelor x

[DenverBachelor]

Ps: I once thought the greatest nightmare was going to sleep beside her and having a dream that she was gone, but then I realized it was falling asleep without her and dreaming she was in my arms.

[supercalifragilistic]

Ps: I once thought the greatest nightmare was going to sleep beside her and having a dream that she was gone, but then I realized it was falling asleep without her and dreaming she was in my arms.

 

Oh, so true...makes me wish I had worried less and enjoyed more. :sad:

[Casey13]

I don't know, why do people get terminally ill? why do young people die suddenly? Why are babies born mentally challanged? Why do some people starve to death? The list is endless and your question falls under a similar category. There are no concrete answers to these questions but here is an explanation for thought.

 

If no one got ill or died early, one would not appreciate one's own health.

If all babies were born perfect, no one would appreciate their new born is healthy.

Similarly, if love worked out always and for everyone, simply it would not exist and would be accepted as the norm therefore neglected, not cherished, when it comes along, often once or twice in a lifetime. The harder it is to find something in life or achieve it, the more rewarding it is when it's there. Love falls under this category. True love is hard to find but when it comes its something that can make one feel very special and part of the reason that is because we know how hard it is to come by

[capricornprncess]

Mm all I can say is that is why we date. We date people to find out if they are the one for us. I'm sure that once you find the person your suppose to end up with, anything that happened in your past will be all but a memory. As you said it yourself, you are young, give it time because thru life experiences is how we learn and evolve into better human beings. Your soulmate is out there and you will meet when the time is right . Don't give up!