Lost her again

[curbie]

Hello everyone. I am here to bring the sad news to what I thought was going to work out.

 

Please reference this HTML link as a reference to what I THOUGHT was going to work out. link removed

 

Just last night (4/30/04) My girlfriend thought it would be best to split up. I guess after last December when she came back to me, she thought the feeling was there. (love) But now it's not. I had a special night planned with her last night, and was going to ask her to marry me, but I didn't even make it out of my hometown after getting gas and she beard me the bad news. She said I wanted to talk about "us" and I thought it was going to be good news. Nope. It was bad. So....I guess the getting back together after you've split up once and after the no communication rule doesn't always work. No matter if she was the one who came back or not. It's hard, no doubt....throwing away 3 1/2 years. It's not easy, but no one says it would be. It's not fair, either...but life isn't fair I suppose. Thanks for reading and letting me get this off my chest.

 

Curbie

[DragonGirl724]

....

 

what the ****?!?! what happened?!?!??! what was her reasons?? check out the "I LOve YOu BUt IM NOt IN LOve With You" topic, maybe shes using that crappy cop-out line on you!! if thats the case its probably not 100% of why she did it. its usually a back up mechanism to not tell u whats really bothering her. could u tell she was having doubts at all!??!?

 

ugh* im feeling crappy. dude i am so sorry youre heartbroken, damn man, but maybe this is the last straw u needed to go out & find the real one for you, i mean u gave it a 2nd shot. tho it seems hopeless i can imagine. my heart breaks for you. i know youre not here for pity but damn man i feel your pain. and i know it sounds sooo cliche' but im sure ull learn & better yourself from it in the long run....what happened that night????? does she know you were gonna pop the question??? and not for nothing its best she did it before you purposed. if i were you id get back the $ from the ring & use it for my advantage... i dont have any advice im so sorry, im so puzzled how it can go from extremes. my ex told me he wabted to sell his car to put away money for "US" and 3 days later broke up w/ me so i can only imagine how u feel. im so sorry i wasnt any help, but dude what happened??? how do u feel? its important u open up, itll speed up the healing process. r u ever gonna speak to this girl again??

 

-DG724

[curbie]

Well first off, Dragongirl, let me say I can sympathize with your reply as to "What the ****?!?!!?" That's exactly how I felt when the news was broke to me. She doesn't really know why....but she tells me that she can feel it in her hear that she doesn't feel the same about her and I as a couple. She loves me and I love her - so I guess you could say that she doesn't "love" me, but she loves me. Do you follow? She does, but she doesn't....I guess something like that?

 

I will check out that forum you posted and read it. I don't know if its a cop-out, but I'm just going with what her heart feels right now. I'm trying my best. It's hard, no doubt. I guess it could've been worse. We could've been married and gotten a divorce. She didn't know that I was going to propose to her. I should've asked her a year ago. But then again, I was going to ask her when she came back to me this past December, January and February. All 3 months I was too scared to ask. She didn't start having this feeling until March. She tried to fight it out amongst herself and it just didn't change I guess. I thought that she might have been seeing someone else or something along those lines. Like she just lost sight of me or something.

 

Thank you for your reply and your sympathy. I appreciate it. I will take the ring back and just pay bills with it, I guess. 8)

 

We're going out to dinner on May 14th or 15th. I'm sure we'll get to chat more about how we feel and such. She did say that if her feeling had changed about me, that I would be the 1st to know. We still want to see each other and do things, just as friends. It could be worse, some couples break up and then don't want anything to do with each other at all. We're lucky to not be that way. We've been together for too long to throw away our friendship.

 

I hope I get better.

Curbie

[rich_1517]

Curbie in my own research i found that "in love" and passion are not so spontaneously created as we would think.

 

its based on the real and perceived meeting of needs.

 

there is also stale and boring as a problem. suggest you dont do dinner, unless you supposed to talk as the meeting. maybe go skating, water park or something fun then talk. i did that last week but in my case im dealing with a rock.

 

i wish i had an answer for you. she will have to start talking about what might be wrong. if she wants to save it you need to know where you got off track and is she willing to work on it.