worried about college...

[tiredandsad]

basically, i'm afraid that i won't have any friends. i'm just a really awkward person in general and i have a hard time meeting new people. my social experience in high school has been pretty bad..i have like two friends, and it sucks b/c i can't really tell them anything about how i feel b/c they just wouldn't care. i am also a very self conscious person, which i really wish i could change. when i was younger, i had a bad speech impediment as well, which i still sort of have and because of that i never participate in class. all of these factors (and others) have led me to be very depressed my entire life. often i feel that i should just kill myself b/c i have nothing to lose. i would like to be able to live and appreciate a normal life, but b/c of how my life has been so far, i don't really see the point. and now i am finishing up with high school and heading off to college which is just bringing all of my depression out in the open. the last thing i want to happen is to go to a college and not meet anyone who i click with, and end up being all alone. i think that this might happen b/c my parents are sending me off to a huge state school, and i know that it's going to intimidate me so much. i hate this situation. is there anyone out there in a similar one?

[Stinkweed]

Unfortunately, I gotta say I am the same. I am not American and lived in my home country until 8th grade. Up to that year I felt like a pretty normal kid. I had all these friends. I moved to Pennsylvania, and haven't been able to make new friends since. I guess that I used to have friends because they were old friends and we grew up together. They understood who I was. Well, my story, like any other story, also has to do with a girl. I am just too goddamned shy to ask her out. I have never had a girlfriend. There is a girl I like, but I think she hates me because I stared at her, which is hilarious because she doesn't even know me! She maybe noticed that I get a little anxious about her, and thinks it is her fault, and that's why she avoids me. Or maybe she just hates me to death. I also have wished to never wake up again. And sometimes I don't want to participate in class because I have a funny accent (I am a foreigner). Man, I only hate one thing in this world, and it is myself. Now, I am going to move again, and I guess I'll have to kiss the few hard-earned acquaintances I have here goodbye. The worst part is that I'm too goddamned stubborn and resilient to commit suicide. I always believe there is still hope, but now I think I have a mental illness. I can go from an extreme depression, to a hopeful mood in seconds. I always tell myself "This is the day you will ask her out, the first day of the rest of your day" but still end up in the same place. My parents get pissed off at me because I can't enjoy life. They alway say that I will end up getting sick, but I think to myself "I wish it is quick and painless". I am also petrified when a lot of people look at me at once, or when someone stares at me. It almost makes me get a seizure (it makes me shake). Especially when she looks at me. A few people have told me I am handsome, but I see myself very unattractive. Others have also told me I am smart, but I think I am hardworking, because not being able to ask a girl out is not smart at all. Also, I used to be really religious, but after I started feeling abnormal, and my life started being a living hell, I guess that Heaven doesn't exist, Only Hell does, and it is where I am right now.

Best wishes to you, and I hope you can bounce back from this one.

[Stefi]

In my opinion, college is a different environment than high school. In high school, I remember there were all these little "groups" of people. There was the whole immature teasing of others who were different, and the labeling.

 

I noticed that in college, the number of people genuinely concerned with learning and doing well in classes is much higher. A lot of people in high school are there because it's the law, they have to be there whether they want to or not- but almost everyone in college is there because they really want to be there. That alone changes the whole dynamics of the place. Sure, there are some little cliques here and there, but they're really not very noticeable.

 

If you're going away to college, it can be your chance to be who you are, and say what you want to say, because it's like a new beginning- nobody knows you there and they won't know what you were like in high school.

Remember that most people there will have come from other places as well, and are glad to meet other people. It's not like everyone will know each other and you'll be the only new person there.

 

Think of the incoming freshman class, some people will come from other states all accross the US and also from other countries (all ages as well). They'll be as worried as you are about meeting people!

 

Try not to worry too much about it. I'm sure it's stressful for you, but really keep in mind the things I've mentioned. College is truly a different experience from high school.

 

I hope you enjoy yourself!

Stefi

[just_smile]

hey

in some way i am in the same situation as you, in september i am going to college and worry about meeting new people, i am ok at doing this i can get on with virtually anyone but my fear is that i wont, which is something which i know wont happen, *touches wood*, at least i hope so, going to college will be a good thing, only having two friends isnt that bad, at least you have someone who you can count on in a time of need.

 

you will be fine; its just another step in your life which alot of people take so stop worrying i am sure you will make loads of new friends. just keep telling yourself that

 

~LJ =;