bad dreammmmms

[dogwood]

hi. so last night i had a pretty bad fight with my gf. we're fine, still together, still happy... but we didn't really make up before we went to sleep so there were still bad vibes in the air.

 

last night i also dreamed about my ex. (my first gf/ first love). it was very realistic. i dreamed i was at her school with her and her friends eating in the caf. we were hanging out in various parts of the school, my ex and i were also hanging out alone in various parts.. and at one point she said she loved me. jokingly at first, but then she said she really meant it. then i told her to come walk me upstairs to the exit of whatever building we were in because i think i was planning to tell her the same thing.

 

most days i dont think about my ex much at all and i do love my current gf. but lately she's been on my mind more for some reason. i'm really worried that subconsciously i still love her and this dream is pretty freaking obvious. even after we broke up it took me so long to get over her. and several months after we broke up it was clear she still had very strong feelings for me too, and may still. eventually though i did move on. but i think at the pit of my heart i still loved her. i just want to stop loving her. it's been a year and a half since we broke up. this is so painful, i just want to love my current gf completely and not my ex who cheated and broke my heart and is the most dangerous girl i have encountered.

 

help.....

[Celestialagape54]

Dogwood,

 

Sometimes we just need dreams to tell us what we are subconsciously feeling.If you are not completely over your ex-girlfriend it might be a good idea for you not to be dating anyone at the moment.

 

I know you mentioned that your current girlfriend is great and everything but it is not fair to her, for you to be with her and then at the same time still have feelings for your ex.

 

It might be a good for you to spend some more time alone until you get to a point where you no longer have feelings for your ex. You shouldn't feel bad everyone heals at different rates the important thing is that you NEED to give yourself time in order to heal.

 

Imagine how would you feel if you were in your girlfriends role? How would you feel is she had feelings and dreams like the ones you have?

 

You can't help what you feel...

[dogwood]

you've commented on my posts before lunarstar, and to be honest i have not found it helpful at all.

 

I'm obviously not going to break up with my current girlfriend whom I love just because I have some underlying feelings floating around for my ex. I'm hoping they will continue to fade over time, and obviously if I dump her because of that, I will have nothing to focus on BUT the painful longing for my ex AND the girlfriend I just dumped. I'm trying to make this work, not just dump her because of this. It would obviously hurt her way more if I did that. Terrible advice.

[Celestialagape54]

I apologize if my advice is not helpful. I hope you the best in current situation!

[onewithbooks]

I think that lunarstar has an excellent point. Maybe not to break it off with your current gf but maybe some alone time is in order to get some perspective on your feelings.

 

I fell in love with my first love at a very young age and it took me years to get over him. Even in my last relationship had I been standing at the alter and he would have come in begging for another chance, I can't say I would have been swayed to listen to him. First love is very powerful, sometimes its more powerful than the love you marry.

 

Maybe in your case you just need to realize that a part of you will always love her, and accept that. You can love someone and be in love with someone else. It is possible. Maybe if you accept the fact that a part of you will always do that it will release the rest of you from this hold her memory has over you and you can move on ahead with your current gf.