its never easy.. come share!

[kinetic32]

so i recently broke up with my girlfriend of about a year and a half, of course it wasnt easy.. and the healing has been going nicely. I know we all feel alone at this time and are looking for things to help make sense of it all or seek guidence from others experiences. So I thought as a part of my healing process i would share the tale and some advice that i have learned. take it if you need it/ feel free to add your own story, or any tips that can help us all out in the hard times

 

MY FAIR JULIET.. HOW I LOVE THEE

 

I met her in highschool 9th grade.. first hour.. first time i saw her she lit up my life. and i was just hooked. being shy i never did anything. she was a good girl all As sports, activities, no drugs, straight life girl.. I however was not, skipped , drunk, stoned, rebelious and never cared.. after 3 years I finally got the courage to tell her how i had been feeling this whole time.. as i was going to do so i was taken by the principle and expelled. never to see her again. about 5 months after I wrote her a letter and sent it to her telling her everything and my feelings. I had never heard back.. as life went on I had eventually got married then divorced, moved around and just went through the world. but i never stopped thinking about her, not once throughout the whole time. So i thought there had to be a reason for that. maybe she is the one for me if she left that kind of impact on me. so i had tracked her down from myspace and we started talking. it turns out she remembered me and still saved that letter and looked at it from time to time. she said she could never write back because it had gotten wet on the outside and ruined the address, and i was never listed... we met up and immediately clicked.

 

THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE:

 

even though she lived 2.3 hrs from me because we both were in school, we talked anytime we could and saw each other almost every weekend, wed meet up at different towns in the state get a room and enjoy the evening, we had the same interests music, dinning, art , concerts. it was truley as if i found my soul mate. there was never any rudeness, or dissrespect. we genuinely cared and had each others backs. the families got along it couldnt be any better....

 

STOP PUSHIN MY DAMN BUTTON!!!

 

Like all relationships there are those things that make you want to ring the others neck.. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh she was a taurus..I myself a scorpio.. which means we are both strong characters who dont like to back down. the arguements seemed very unneccessary to have. she hated the fact i was married before and made me feel guilty i made that mistake, or i used to do drugs and i like to drink and have fun.. im an outgoing person so she would get so territorial over me when i would talk to any females.. aside from her not being able to control any parts of her emotions or thoughts she was great to be with. my problems is that because i dont like to fight i just dont care to participate which just shows i dont care. also since we were on the kick of ex's i gave her a bunch of crap all the time.. neither were perfect no one is.

 

THE LITTLE TOO MUCH CALM BEFORE THE STORM:

 

so now we are aprox a month before the end.. we had plans to move out of state when she is done with class in may 10.. money is saved we are getting married we are going for the american dream!!! she takes a part time job teaching a preschool class at the same time she wants to add to her masters and double her class load which now keeps her in school for another year. the silence starts.. there were no more conversations.. there was a five min how was your day at night before bed time. the texts stopped.. the passion faded.. the surprise visits by me didnt seem to make her happy and the detatching starts... when i told her that i know shes got alot on her plate and always busy.. but you could try to put a little more effort into showing me that your still apart of this relationship, she just didnt seem to care..

 

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

 

so for the last month there the text became " have a great day

no more i love yous on the phone.. sometimes i didnt even bother answering. sat called 3 times to say happy sweetest day.. texted 4 times.. 1145 pm still no response.. sunday morning still no talking or was there any kind of communication... I had enough! out of all the options texting was the last way to end a relationship.. and i was done investing any kind of anything for this.. so she can read on her own terms... there was no hate and there still isnt.. I said to her I understand that your goals and dreams for school come first, and i know there is just no time for this relationship anymore.. its not fair to me to be in a 1 way relationship.. ive tried for a month now and ill never make you choose between me and school... but i need more i need passion from this and to feel like were a part of something and it hasnt felt that way for awhile now and while im trying to get that connection back you do nothing...i said i loved her and always will and it breaks my heart to lose her and giving her up is the hardest thing ever.. but its now starting to harm my mind and hurt me on a daily basis.. thus i have to do whats right by me.

 

DEATH IS ONLY A NEW FORM OF LIFE:

 

well its now 5 days and there has been absolutely NC on her part. I have sent 1 other email of my last thoughts and feelings on all of this. she could be dead for all i know.. shes not btw she changed her facebook stuff around..

 

So now what.. the first day went fine.. i did the housecleaning.. removed from FaceBook and Myspace. i boxed all the stuff up and took it to friends.. can delete all pics or anything that would lead to memories.. yesterday was the absolute worst. all emotional.. the self doubt.. the what have i done.....

today has been reflecting and understanding what went wrong and not blaming and being appreciate of what i have done..

 

here are some things to help deal with the rough stuff...

 

-break off all the contacts, including any bridge that leads to the other

-make a list a "hate list" things of why the break up happened read that if you feel like something was a mistake

-DO NOT SEND ANY TYPE OF MIDNIGHT TEXTS/CALLS/OR EMAIL BEGGING OR PLEADING.. this will most certainly get you nowhere and when you dont hear from them it will make things worse/ hurt your ego and really mess you up in the head.

-Yes guys even you its ok to cry.. cry, sob, scream, do what you must.. not at work but at home its all fair game.. grab a nice healthy fluffy pillow.. and beat the living @*#& out of it!!! you will just feel great your going through the loss of a loved one.. its healthy to grieve.

- rebounds and one night stands.. well thats good and all but things could end and now you may find yourself trying to handle the loss of 2 people instead of one.. not so healthy.

- BE SELFISH!!! its your time now.. do what you want buy something you had your eye on.

- work out/ run it give you a positive release of things and youll feel and look better..

-DONT BLAME YOURSELF!

-and DONT BLAME YOURSELF!!! it takes 2 people

-revenge is not best served at all... it will solve nothing for you and youll just feel even worse off then what you were before. besides your a better person than that

-suicide is the petty, weak, cowardly way out of any situation... and there is no shame to ask for help or guidance from counselors/church/family/friends

 

Always remember that the only way your world is truley over... is if the earth itself explodes. then it would truley be over.. live life... be positive and wait for the next gust of wind to come swoop you up and onto something new and better.