Giving up on getting back together

[medtranusa]

Well I have given up on getting back with my ex. We were together for 9 years and then like some kind of middle age crazy he dumped me for a stranger and her 2 daughters. We had a quiet life and now he has one that is full of drama. They almost split up about 2 weeks ago and he started calling me. He drew me right into the whole thing and then called to say they were going to try one more time. Too funny one more time in a relationship that should be in the honey moon phase. I told him he should not be calling me if he was really trying to make it work with her. Then stupid me I changed my mind and told him I understood him and that we still have some kind of connection. After that we spoke a couple more times because I called him. I pushed him right away I know. Well now a couple weeks later I saw him yesterday. The happy couple came by his parents dock on his jet ski. He waved very sheepishly and she just glared at me while rubbing his arms. I smiled and waved and said to my dog who's that. The dog showed some recognition and they were gone after some hesistation. I'm very close to his family and we try not to talk about it much anymore. He broke up with me 2 weeks after meeting her and she moved in a couple months later (a week after I moved out in January). So today when I was at his parents house for dinner his mom said that his true love did not seem upset at all about my being there. My not being out of the picture has been their big problem that they almost broke up about. She accused him of having sex with me when he had not contact at all. Anyway she told his mom that he really misses the dog and that he really wanted to come get the dog for a ride on the jet ski. She says she told him to go ahead. Well why didn't he do just that? I have no ideas about us and will not be asking him why be strange about the dog? The dog doesn't care. I would have simply sent the dog out to him. I would have been minimally involved if at all. As a matter of fact we did this once before and I really didn't even look at him. Why do people have to be so strange? He's the one that made a mess of a possible friendship between us. It's a shame to be so weird with someone after 9 years together. I made it very clear to him that he could still talk to me but to leave me out of his drama. Oh well at least I have retained a friendship with his family.

[russia]

nothing wrong with being friends with the family, cos that's what you have become over the 9 years. bonds that are not easily broken. even if he isn't part of your life anymore.

 

too bad about the dog. it will just have to get used to being without him around. cos although his new woman said ok, i am sure it's not "OK" and he knows it, so he'd rather do without.

 

but have you really given up on him? are you still hoping he'll break up with her and return to you? is the dog the link? what if you gave him the dog? cos i don't think dog timesharing will do.

[medtranusa]

I think I have given up here. Sometimes I miss the closeness but now he has chosen this other person twice over me. How much can I take? I feel better when I look at this as closed. The dog is definitely my dog and is more bonded to me. He misses him but it's not causing any problem. I suppose sometime he will get some time with the dog when she is not around if he really wants to. I am inclined to think that he did not go for it because she was there. He tries to keep the peace because she really freaks out and yells at him in a rage at times. So thereforeeee he cannot be himself with her. Even so I have to look at this as over for my own sanity.

[medtranusa]

I have to add though that no contact is killing me. I hope that in the future either it will be easier to be friends or that I won't care anymore. Having spent 9 years with him to nothing just dries me crazy. I'm an attractive woman and I make pretty good money but I am choosing to stay single for now. My attitude is really bad toward relationships because you can be with someone for so long and still have them turn on you. Love bites!