Does loving someone and being happy around them come hand-in-hand?

[bluexin99]

Does loving someone automatically mean that you're happy around/with them? Is it possible to love someone deeply but not feel happy when you're with them? I can't really explain what that sense of happiness feels like (because it's different for everyone) but i do believe it's more than just wanting to be around them.

 

What do you guys think?

[arwen]

Not automatically I think. I loved my ex, but we were miserable together. We had different needs.

[bluexin99]

Not automatically I think. I loved my ex, but we were miserable together. We had different needs.

 

I know it's hard to explain exactly why you love someone. But shouldn't the feeling of happiness that they give you when you're with them be one of the many reasons? I don't know where to draw the line.

[Ihavetissues]

Im in love with my boyfriend but sometimes I just don't know how to be happy!!

[Maya_A]

I know it's hard to explain exactly why you love someone. But shouldn't the feeling of happiness that they give you when you're with them be one of the many reasons? I don't know where to draw the line.

 

One should enjoy spending time with that person, as in having fun, feeling compatible in activities you are doing, etc.. I don't think being specifically happy has anything to do with another person.

 

It's like going out with a good friend - we don't think of it as "does that friend make me happy". We think in terms of did we enjoy our time with them & are we compatible.

 

I've been with my bf the odd time while in not so great a mood & so didn't feel particularly happy within my own self but still enjoyed my time with him.

 

On the flip side, if you always or mostly feel not good/positive in some way in a significant others company vs. when not in it, then you & that person may not be compatible, or only may need to iron out some issues about your relationship. Sharing feelings, perceptions, "expectations", etc.

 

Sometimes no one is saying anything & just going along with the other while neither of their needs are being met.

[Cognitive_Canine]

In healthy love, one should feel safe and happy when around their partner.

[arwen]

I know it's hard to explain exactly why you love someone. But shouldn't the feeling of happiness that they give you when you're with them be one of the many reasons? I don't know where to draw the line.

 

That's a difficult question. I have thought many things on that topic, and no, it can't (just) be the happiness factor. Because people also love people who don't make them happy (like I did).

 

I have felt like I loved someone because I wanted to be that someone. It had to do with a certain 'atmosphere' around my ex. I have that with my husband too, but where he makes me calm, my ex made me restless somehow. But he had something that I wanted, that I didn't have, but that also was incompatible with me. With him, I wanted to change something of me that I couldn't and probably shouldn't change. I wasn't myself around him as a result- and hence I was unhappy. It's different with my husband, who is also very different than I am in many ways, but with him I don't feel like I have to change. I can just be me and he has a positive effect on me.