newlife21 Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 His birthday today, i had switched off my phone on last thursday ( and had informed him ) and NC ever since. i know it would hurt him i didn't even sms happy birthday to him. first time i am so harsh to him. He was always the one giving me the silent treatment and not picking up my calls when he was upset. hurt like hell. just to recap, i am breaking up with him because he didn't reply to my three sms requesting support and help ( not the first time) , which made me heart go dead. i haven't heard any explanation from his side. past experiences were he always followed up with more hurting sms instead of explaning. i couldn't expect him to act like a boyfriend with a heart, so i gave up and switched off my phone. i feel that he knew i am weaker than him emotionally, which i am, and he always takes advantage of that and wait for me to break down first, to beg him or something. but he is so wrong this time. he couldn't look for me now because he is in another state, semi LDR. if his cruelty is no misunderstanding, i want this to be over. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 maybe you should officially break up tomorrow? Link to comment
newlife21 Posted September 28, 2009 Author Share Posted September 28, 2009 no, i don't want to mention break up or even contact him to give him a chance to hurt me. because he would be only reacting, he is highly emotional person. then few weeks later, he will regret. i don't want to hear him say things now i know are not true, it will not be true if he agrees to break up, it will be his anger or ego talking, not his heart, and also his strategy talking. i don't know what to do, that is why i am acting like ostrich and hide. he is beyong my comprehension and i label him as emotionally unavailable, or even defective. Link to comment
newlife21 Posted September 28, 2009 Author Share Posted September 28, 2009 i am not planning to get him back, all i feel like doing now is hide and hide. i want to be in limbo for now for this relationship. we were planning to buy a house and getting married, we were not just dating, it is not easy to let go just like that. he created this problem, if he is a human being, he should do some explanation without me begging for one. he still knows where to find me even my handphone is off. but , i am not waiting eagerly, which is good because anticipation hurts. Link to comment
barrakuda Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 sounds like a lot of mind games being played by both sides. Link to comment
newlife21 Posted September 28, 2009 Author Share Posted September 28, 2009 sounds like, isn't it? that is why i am so sick of it. Link to comment
barrakuda Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 sounds like, isn't it? that is why i am so sick of it. then it would be better to do what annie24 told you. show him that you are being stronger this time and break up. then move on. Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 i agree that you both need to stop playing games. if you don't want to be with him anymore, i would just tell him that this isn't working anymore and you're done and walk away. Link to comment
newlife21 Posted September 28, 2009 Author Share Posted September 28, 2009 no, my intention was not to do mind game. i just do what he does unto me, shut down. i am glad i finally don't care enough for him to speak his languagae. the best part is i can still function, i can still work and sleep. yes i do cry, but i am not going to break down this time as he always make me. Link to comment
Talus Posted September 28, 2009 Share Posted September 28, 2009 I can't remember a single problem that's actually been solved by completely ignoring it. You may feel like you're doing the right thing but you are not, and it's actually very weak. I'm not trying to be rude or anything like that, just trying to give some honest advice. You are merely hiding from your problems. Instead of facing up to them, you're looking the other way. It is going to make things so much worse if you keep it up. Just contact him, tell him EXACTLY how you feel and that this is it, you are breaking up. You deserve way better. Please be the strong one here. Quit hiding and take control. Link to comment
newlife21 Posted September 29, 2009 Author Share Posted September 29, 2009 no you are not rude. i am indeed very weak and coward this round. i wasn't like this at all last time, but he hurt me so many times last few rounds i had become a coward now. if i look for him, he will ignore me, i don't see why i should give him the chance to hurt me again. also, i really don't feel like contacting him. i am not strong enough to do an official breakup, i am only strong enough not to run after him. Link to comment
newlife21 Posted September 29, 2009 Author Share Posted September 29, 2009 the reason i am hiding now is because knowing he is unhappy, he will give me very mean treatment. everything he will say now may not count next week, for eg breaking up. one moment he will say, " i am shutting out my feelings for you", "i can't be there for you anymore" etc. and one week later, he will cry and said " only you can complete my life, i can't lose you etc". Link to comment
Hobbes Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 i agree that you both need to stop playing games. if you don't want to be with him anymore, i would just tell him that this isn't working anymore and you're done and walk away. Annie your avatar is killing me! Soooo funny. ok back to thread, sorry had to say it. Link to comment
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