How fast does time move?

[Anonymous3]

I've been curious about this.

 

It's been a little over two weeks since she dumped me, citing the whole "need to be alone, please just give me some time" deal as the reasoning.

 

One breech of NC a week ago, with the same answer....I tried apologizing, thinking maybe it was something I did that caused this....was re-assured I have nothing to apologize for, etc.

 

So here's the question. Each week of NC I have been able to get through thus far seems like a friggin month, but something tells me she probably has not even noticed that one of the best things in her life is missing. I can only assume that with everything she has going on, it hasn't sunk in yet...

 

Is this normally the case? I'm actually talking to other people, and am probably going out on a date next week. I don't want to go into this with the rebound mentality, because that's just not fair...I'm actually trying to move on.

 

What I don't want to happen, is something great to form between me and this new woman, then a month or two down the line my ex snaps out of it and realizes that it isn't as easy as walking outside and picking someone new out...and decides to reach out. I don't know how I'll handle that when it happens, and I'm fairly certain (knowing her) that it will. It will be hard to ever forgive her for putting me through the past two weeks with no answer as to why.

[hockeyboy]

It's normal for weeks to feel like months, but as time goes by, those weeks will feel shorter and shorter.

 

She doesn't hurt as bad because in her mind, she was thinking of this breakup before she did it...so she's had more time to process it, accept it, etc.

 

IMO, dating right now is not a good idea. Besides the fact it's not really fair to the woman, it's not going to have the affect on you that you think it will. Many people think it will help them move on, but the fact is, you're going to compare her to your ex and right now you have your ex on such a high pedestal, this other woman does not stand a chance. Take some time, be single, do new things, enjoy it.

[Anonymous3]

It's normal for weeks to feel like months, but as time goes by, those weeks will feel shorter and shorter.

 

She doesn't hurt as bad because in her mind, she was thinking of this breakup before she did it...so she's had more time to process it, accept it, etc.

 

IMO, dating right now is not a good idea. Besides the fact it's not really fair to the woman, it's not going to have the affect on you that you think it will. Many people think it will help them move on, but the fact is, you're going to compare her to your ex and right now you have your ex on such a high pedestal, this other woman does not stand a chance. Take some time, be single, do new things, enjoy it.

 

I wouldn't even really consider it dating to be honest. I was straightforward about being right out of something, and there isn't an issue with that. It's part of me being single, and doing new things...to a point. I'm not going to go throwing myself into this one.

 

I was more curious as to how time passes for the dumper...it seems like it takes them a while, even if they were thinking about it weeks before it happened, to realize they screwed up.

[JonasWaingaro]

From everything I've read for the dumped weeks seem like months, and for the dumper months seem like weeks. Probably one reason why the dumper starts feeling the break after a few months down the road. Time whizzed by for them before they realize something might not be so hot. For us, it feels like years and years have gone by.

[LillyLooWho]

I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to date again. We have no idea if/when we might hear from the ex again so we should not be concerned about what will happen if/when they call.

 

Even if you compare the new people to your ex, you are still trying. My therapist is always pushing me to start dating again after a breakup. I think she feels like putting yourself back out there is a concrete sign that you are trying to move on. It might take a lot of dates before you meet someone you may want to see again but trust me, you will find someone if you truly put yourself out there.

 

Hope you find happiness.

[Anonymous3]

Yeah, it'd be nice to be happy again. It'd be nice to know what happened, it'd be nice to get those rogue thoughts about her out of my head too....all or nothing. I don't like the fact that everything I think about for the past year, places I've been on business, places we ate at, stupid stuff, makes me cringe. I had mentally conditioned myself to think of nobody else in the world but her, so it's like I have to un-brainwash myself.

 

A lot of things would be nice.