Remaining sad really is a choice - Learning lesson

[rebelfac]

Experiencing betrayal is always an unpleasant experience and I have spent far too many days feeling sorry for myself. I have learned and grown a great deal as a result but looking back know that I waisted far too much time thinking negative thoughts that could have been better spent. We all really can be glad for what we have and look at it as the glass is half full. We are free to do things better next time and not put so much time into one person ever again. We really should try being as happy as can be on our own and like others have said, allow a new person to add to it. I wasn't the same confident and independent guy at the end that i was at the beggining. I was the prize at the beggining but have to admit that I was anything but in the last 30% of my relationship. I can now pursue my destiny and accomplish the things I should have been doing when I was more complacent and comfortable. I am trying to develop a television show among other ventures. I am also growing a matchmaking service. I couldn't do that when I was married. Those of you that are looking for a dynamic roadmap to both get your mind off of the negative emotions and to join me in establishing a rewarding career feel free to PM me. Innovators Radio is just a small example.

[starlight40]

Its only been tha past month or so that i realised that i was basically holding onto negativity and unhappiness, its true that it can often be a conscious CHOICE to stop being unhappy and begin to be positive.I think this choice only comes after time needed to heal from whatever the trauma youve been through, it can only be a choice when the overwhelming negative emtions begin to subside and your no longer a slave to them. Its taken me a long time to get to this point but i can feel myself becoming more happy and more content with just being me as each day passes, actually i have alot to thank my ex for, my experience like many others on here was one of the most difficult things ive ever had to deal with but its also made me have to look at myself long and hard, because ive had to do that ive found flaws and strengths that i never knew i had, i know myself alot better these days and i like what i see, i honestly dont think id have ever acheived such a knowledge of myself had i not been through something so difficult. Life is full of surprises and is a beautiful thing, happiness can come from the deepest of sorrow, positives can always be drawn from the most negative situations.

[journeynow]

rebalfac and starlight,

 

I agree with you both. Sadness and grief may come up, but remaining there is a choice. Getting through it has come in waves, and each time I feel happier I think I'm done with the sadness, but it may arise unexpectedly. It is easy to be aware of the sadness, but it is most helpful to be mindful of happy/content/joyful moments, acknowledge them, and build upon them.

Well put:

Life is full of surprises and is a beautiful thing, happiness can come from the deepest of sorrow, positives can always be drawn from the most negative situations.

There is a concept of "Both/And". At times we can be both sad about the loss and happy about our present moment, opportunities, blessings.