Bf seems shy about his 'crotch' area!....two questions (1 for guys, 1 for girls)

[chicka]

I have two questions. One for guys one for girls.

 

Guys

If your girlfriend attempts to touch, peak, kiss your penis, would you let her or would you sheild her away?

 

 

Girls

If you attempt the above and your guy tends to shield you away, would you stop trying after a while?

 

 

 

 

 

I ask becuase this is what my bf does.

 

 

if my bf and i sort of mess around, play flighting etc, but he might start doing soemthing more 'intimate'. He might get me in a position where my head is some what close to his penis (we are clothed) and he'll sort of laugh and put his hands on my head and push it up and down or thrust his crotch into my face.

 

Soon as i attempt to touch or peak underneath his pants - half the time im not actually going to, im teasin, he will go all like 'noooo' - he does laugh and smile and he'll sort of put his hands there, or he'll start tickling me. Every time i do 'attempt' he is hard.

 

Last night it happened again, and i sort of joked back that i'll stop trying to go there and to which he joked 'the day you do that, is the day i'll be out the door'.... or something like that.... I assume he was joking.

 

He jokes that im 'mad for it' ......dont know how considerin i never 'get it'.

 

And then this morning, he is laying on his back and he pulled me around and i ended up with my face on his crotch and he had his legs locked around me. He did let me see it but would still conitnue to cover it up. We had to get up in 5 mins anyways, so i didn't do anything....

 

Its leaving me thinking that either he doesn't like it, doesn't like me in that area or that im just not good at it.

[Speranza]

How would he know your'e not good at it if you've never done it?

 

Either this is a new relationship still at the play stage, or it's not gonna happen...

 

I'm a bit confused about how far you've already gone together..?

[chicka]

How would he know your'e not good at it if you've never done it?

 

Either this is a new relationship still at the play stage, or it's not gonna happen...

 

I'm a bit confused about how far you've already gone together..?

 

oh. no.

 

i have done it before. we've been together for a while now...... we've had sex.... all of it....he is 27. he isn't a teenager.

[Lonewing]

Ages???

 

He might be insecure about it, not sure about it...and jsut not ready yet.

 

He'll be ready in time...jsut let him know it's a great sensation...

[Lonewing]

Does he like giving you oral?

[chicka]

im 23 he is 27.

 

Ive only dated 1 other man. he's had like 5 gfs before me.

 

he defiantly isn't shy during sex.

 

 

i do think he is a bit insecure about his penis. he tends to joke that i want a bigger one. he is of average size (meassurement wise) but to me its perfect. I probably feel that way about it due to the way i feel about him.

 

He doesn't like me to see it after sex or when he isn't hard. He wont change in front of me unless he has underwear on.

 

He is confident in bed, so maybe its a bit of an insecure thing?

[chicka]

Does he like giving you oral?

 

hmm.....going by the amount he has, no.

 

he's done it to me once in 6 months.

 

although im a bit shy about that area...but when we have sex, it doesn't really involve oral as well.......

 

 

 

he'll talk about BJ's and me in that area a lot online or via texts....

[Lonewing]

All these insecurities...ugh...

[Lonewing]

hmmm...

 

OK, so my ex.

 

Basically, the first time we were together, I was in her mouth before I even realzied what she was doing. I was nervous at first, but I relaxed as I realized she wanted to do that, and gave myself over to her. It was nice.

 

There is a bit to overcome. I was worried once about a girl even touching me, but then with my ex I had a dream about her just touching me and I came to terms with her doing that, and realized it was OK. That was before we got together, once we did it was so natural and easy. I'm still sad I lsot her. But things get better.

 

She was really shy about me being anywhere near here, though. I got her to let me, but it was a struggle for her. She was really self conscious. I wish I had more practice, because in her self conciousness I never got very far in my own education.

 

I remember something about Embarassment having to do with something. But I don't rememebr what, and it made so much sense.

[Speranza]

You said you 'never get it'... I really am confused! Do you just mean you never get to give him oral?

 

How do you have sex without touching his penis??

 

LOL I must be missing something here!

[Lonewing]

She means he's happy with vanilla but she wants strawberry ahem oral too. As in, she wants to GIVE him oral and he's refusing to let her....heck, it appears he won't let her touch him or even see him naked unless he's in the heat of the moment.

 

Tell him one of your greatest fantasies is to just hang around the house all day.. completely naked...together.

[chicka]

You said you 'never get it'... I really am confused! Do you just mean you never get to give him oral?

 

How do you have sex without touching his penis??

 

LOL I must be missing something here!

 

 

Im guessing your referring to """He jokes that im 'mad for it' ......dont know how considerin i never 'get it'. """

 

What i meant was he says im mad for his...penis..yet every time i try he shys away.

 

Um, he puts on the condom... and then we have intercourse, there for i dont touch it.

[chicka]

She means he's happy with vanilla but she wants strawberry ahem oral too. As in, she wants to GIVE him oral and he's refusing to let her....heck, it appears he won't let her touch him or even see him naked unless he's in the heat of the moment.

 

Tell him one of your greatest fantasies is to just hang around the house all day.. completely naked...together.

 

hahaha! something like that!

 

When we first started dating and the topic of blow jobs came up and he said most girls think of it as a chore or something. I said i dont. and he was like 'wow'....some do.s ome dont i guess.

 

Yeah, pretty much, im left confused coz he will be all confident in the heat of the moment and even be rather discriptive in texts or online about that stuff but then he'll get really shy if i try to go to that area!

 

And this morning it really suprised me, where he actually pulled me between his legs (he just had jocks on) and basically allowed me too (just bad timing as we had to get up).

[Lonewing]

He might be warming up to the idea...give it time, don't rush him...

 

Oh yeah, I found out there is no sensation in the world quite like having a teste sucked...wow...nearly put me through the roof just thinking about it.

 

He is sooooo missing out if you're willing and ready and happy to do it!!!

[chicka]

He might be warming up to the idea...give it time, don't rush him...

 

Oh yeah, I found out there is no sensation in the world quite like having a teste sucked...wow...nearly put me through the roof just thinking about it.

 

He is sooooo missing out if you're willing and ready and happy to do it!!!

 

haha. thanks..

 

thing is i have done it before. He told me once that he cant always come with a BJ. Every time i have done it, he has. And when we play around he get pretends to thrust in my face or something like that.....but when i go there, its nothing...so in someways it leaves me thinking maybe im not good at it or whatever, and if so, ok but why drag me to that area!!! lol. oh well...

 

this morning was an improvement. he didn't seem as 'shy' about it.

 

haha, im gonna have to try that on him...........when i finally get the chance to again lol.

[Speranza]

Maybe someone bit him. Maybe he saw the 'Funky Spunk' episode of Sex and the City. Maybe he's scared of coming on you; maybe he's scared he won't.

 

Just ASK him. will ya?! Let him know this is a deal and you want to do it... and find out what his problem is.

 

BTW I can't imagine not touching someone's penis during intercourse... is that just me??

[itsallgrand]

BTW I can't imagine not touching someone's penis during intercourse... is that just me??

 

It's not just you.

 

If my bf did the thrusting-his-crotch-at-my-face thing - more than once, even ever - when playing around, he'd get a whole different response than encouraging it or me wanting to go there! Wow. That he'd do that and then say things like 'you are mad for it' - and he doesn't even go down on you nor allow for nature to run its course in regards to foreplay and sex, he sounds somewhere between insecure and rude/disrespectful.

[Speranza]

Yes - at the very least, it sounds as though he has problems.

 

Are you actually okay with this? How does it make YOU feel? I'd be as angry as hell after a while, I'm sure.

[Lonewing]

the good thing about issues is that he can work through them - it sounds like you guys are getting close...sometimes it jsut takes time!

[chicka]

i supose since this is my first real relationship, i probably let a lot of things slide. or not realise.

 

Yeah, basically im left some what confused, he says im mad for it but wont let me go there!

 

With the no touching penis thing, um, well we'll kiss for a bit, he might er finger me, but will be laying in a way that i cant reach his penis and then shortly ater he'll be putting on the condom. For a while, weks and weeks, i'll be on his bed watching tv, and he'll get up and go out of the room, come back , flick the light off, quickly undress and hop into bed naked. then i have to get undress and get in.

 

 

sometimes it does seem to get better....

 

 

oh another thing he always says is if im down in that area, not purposely, i might be reaching for something next to him he'll say 'oh while your down there'........

[Lonewing]

Tell him YOU want to put the condom on...

[Lonewing]

oh another thing he always says is if im down in that area, not purposely, i might be reaching for something next to him he'll say 'oh while your down there'........

 

!*!

 

Ok...

 

So he might still have some mental hangups about the whole thing, in short, an immature attitude about the whole sex/nudity/interaction thing in the first place.

 

I'm struggling to remember that quote about embarassment...I think it goes along the lines of, "We get embarassed because we feel ashamed for having thoughts that we believe to be immature or perverted." Something like that...

 

This might be tougher than I thought. You're quite possibly with a 27 year old body piloted by a 12 year old brain. In which case you're trying to bring him up to speed faster than he's able to take. Positive Reinforcement, Reassurance and Comfort might be your best tools.

[chicka]

Tell him YOU want to put the condom on...

 

i tried once... and i dont know what happened....lol....he went 'owwwwww'.

 

i was tryign to be careful it oculd have been my nail, but he said there was a hair sort of wrapped around and must have got caught when the condom slid down. He was then inspecting his penis for 10 mins. We still had sex after he 'fixed it ' but ive never been game since.

 

oh, and that was the only time ive tried. ever.

 

oh, and he always sort of sits the opposite way, so his back is to me when he puts on the condom. come to think of it, ive never actually SEEN him put it on. its on, i know he wears one, but yeah....

[chicka]

ahhh. interesting way to look at it.

 

since i basically get 'shut down' every time i try to go to that area on my own, its makng me not want to any more.

[Lonewing]

I can understand the frustration. But there is no reason to give up or forgo waht you want, espeially if you love him and he loves you. My best suggestion is to change the approach. You keep trying the same thing - are you surprised you keep getting the same results?