First time post

[J_L_F]

Hey everyone this is really the first forum that I have ever posted on so I'm pretty new to this stuff. I just really need help in my situation and I didn't really know where else to express myself with people that understand and can help. I figured this was a good place to start.

 

Well anyway I might as well tell you all why I'm here and here is my story. Me and my ex-gf were together for 5 solid years. We seemed inseparable and really we had really good times. Toward the last year though I found myself wondering if this girl was right for me. She was always all over me and smothered me all the time. She would call me atleast 5 times a day just to see what I was doing because she was bored. That's really okay with me I enjoyed it most of the time but it got to the point where it seemed she didn't really have a life of her own at all, and I informed her of this sometimes and it would piss her off. But I just wanted her to have friends and everything like I did. I have a close knit bunch of friends I always hangout with, been friends for 13+ years so it was nothing to me. She was very jealous of this and she would always tell me that she wished she could find a true friend and everything. Eventually she did, but it didn't stop her from constantly getting mad at me every time I went out to the pub with my friends. The funny thing is that I wasn't really even doing anything that fun with them, I just am not the type of person to leave my friends to rot while I'm in a relationship, I gave her 10x more time than them. It still seemed she was unsatisfied until I would come home and do nothing. Then she was okay with that.

Either way, things started getting sour between us a little bit but we always could talk through any fight we had because we loved each other. I still love her actually and that's the problem.

About a month ago she told me she didn't know anymore how she felt about moving out with me( which I never would agree with because of funds and lifestyle would be horrible ) but I said okay.. why are you saying this all of a sudden? Then she told me that she thinks we should take a break. I don't agree because I told her a one way "break" is really just a breakup in my head because I didn't agree. This was TOTALLY not like her at all, she would never leave my side or anything. But she kept saying she needs to live for herself and she was co-dependent on me and didn't know anything else. I could understand her logic to a point. I tried to tell her to hangout with her friends and everything and she never would. Her friends would tell her to go out with them, and I told her I wouldn't care, i was excited for her, but she always found an excuse not to hangout with them and stuff. Basically I was completely confused on what was going on, my heart was racing and I for once in my life was lost for words. I got really upset and spilled my heart out to her saying why couldnt we talk things over like we usually did and she never gave me an answer. I know she is not seeing another guy, I looked into it and I really believe that she isnt.

 

After about 2 weeks of complete confusion on both of our ends I finally get fed up and just tell her to stop contact with me, because it hurt so much. She would say that she thinks she still loves me and just needs time. I said I couldn't wait around for her to think things out while I just wait around wondering if I'm wasting my time or if I should start grieving already.

 

Well then I would text her and try to call her and she eventually just told me she couldn't talk to me. I said fine and tried to put myself in her shoes and didn't get so angry over it. Then she would call me and say she was upset. But as time goes on everyone knows things start to bug you and I just told her it's not fair that she can call me when she is upset but when im having a hard time, she wont talk to me. I was trying to call her because I got in an accident and she wouldn't talk to me, but when she was upset over the breakup I would pick up anytime she called.

 

So, im finally at a heartbreaking dilemma.. I don't know how to deal with a breakup considering this is my first true breakup. I really believe in the no contact but I want her back... I really love her and all I keep doing is second guess my choices to give her space because I don't want her to hate me and forget about me. But I think it might be hopeless and my gut feelings are usually right. I want to get rid of her on my phone,email,facebook,myspace everything because when I look at her pictures I just dread the day she talks to another guy and I realize she is completely over me and I know I would freak out. I really don't wanna see it but my curiosity might kill me later down the road and ill totally regret getting rid of her from my life.. I don't know what to do, and if I do it, I dont know how she will react either. She would either be upset and want to get back with me(doubtful) or she would just consider me gone. I just need to know the easiest way to get over someone you still love because it's going to be in vein to keep sulking over it and I don't know how long I can handle the stress.. Please help me out.

 

 

I know this is a long post, sorry. I just decided I would ramble and hopefully tell as much of the story as possible because I know the best help would be from a good perspective of the situation.

 

Thanks for the help though.. I really need it.

[Rob1000]

I think you have a good chance of getting this girl back, if that's what you really want. But you know what I'm going to say....

 

NC. Delete her from your phone. Delete her email. Delete her from your myspace. Delete her from your facebook. Everything. Get out of her life because that's the only way she can find out what life is really like without you. It'll be hard, but if you truly want her back, NC is the only way. Even if she doesn't come back to you, NC will help you move on and get over her. She wont forget you any time soon. Not after 5 years.

 

Good luck bro.

[J_L_F]

Thanks man.. I no you're right I just gotta do it THEN think about it , cause atleast I know there is no turning back. This is gonna be hard, but I think I'm going to do it. I just dont know if I should now or tomorrow. lol I'm really tired and don't wanna be up all night thinking about it

[Rob1000]

Thanks man.. I no you're right I just gotta do it THEN think about it , cause atleast I know there is no turning back. This is gonna be hard, but I think I'm going to do it. I just dont know if I should now or tomorrow. lol I'm really tired and don't wanna be up all night thinking about it

 

Do it now. Because by tomorrow you'll be on Day 2 of NC!!

[J_L_F]

I do have another question though.. if she texts me, and gets mad I was thinking of a response.. if I can't stop myself I would say " Let me know when you are ready to give this another real chance so we can work it out. " or something. Idk what to do if she contacts me. ugh..

[Rob1000]

I do have another question though.. if she texts me, and gets mad I was thinking of a response.. if I can't stop myself I would say " Let me know when you are ready to give this another real chance so we can work it out. " or something. Idk what to do if she contacts me. ugh..

 

Yeah you could say that, but you have to be willing to stick to your guns or you'll end up looking weak and feeling worse.

[J_L_F]

I realllly appreciate it bro.. you are beyond helpful more than you could imagine.. I thought I could do this alone but thank god there is people with advice and know..

 

Just curious have you experience the NC yourself? ( have you done it too? ) and if you did, did it work for you?

[Rob1000]

I realllly appreciate it bro.. you are beyond helpful more than you could imagine.. I thought I could do this alone but thank god there is people with advice and know..

 

Just curious have you experience the NC yourself? ( have you done it too? ) and if you did, did it work for you?

You're welcome dude. We're all in the same situation on here, and it truly is a great forum.

 

I'm currently in NC.

 

In the past, it has worked for me a few times in getting my ex back, even the current ex, about 3 years ago. But this time I don't want her back. I'm doing NC to recover and get over her, so I can move on as quickly as possible. Some days it hurts like hell, but other days, like today, I feel great and strong. You will too. No matter the outcome, NC is the best way forward.

[outsider1]

hey, im currently in the same situation as u. me and my bf broke up (hes the dumper) we been texting on and off all week and he said he hurting and who knows wat will happen in time blah blah blah! ill text him and he wont reply, but then he will text out of the blue. so im at the point as to were ive well and truly had enough. and just think if he loved me he wouldnt be messing me around right? how are u feeling about things now? xx