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I think she wants me back


i miss her 2

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My ex wrote to me several times after me being gone for 3 weeks and not talking to her. She is with someone else though. She has asked me questions for me to respond to and called me by my "pet" name. It was very hard not to respond to her because I still care about her despite the crap she pulled on me.

 

What has everyone else in here done in a situation like this and what kind of reaction did you get?

 

I imagine she is very confused, hurt, or just plain doesn't care about me not responding. I'm sure it is a shock atleast because I was pining away for her for months. We were a couple for 3 1/2 years...

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She might also just be wondering if she still has you on the back burner[/QUOte]

 

Ding ding. We have a winner. Again, she had you as a doormat for so long. Now that you've been ignoring her, she is intrigued by this new behavior of yours. She now sees a challenge to reel you back in. If you allow that to happen, she will go right back to where you were, being a doormat. If she hasn't dumped the new guy yet, you continue to keep your distance. Don't give her what she wants. If she hasn't unloaded the new guy yet, she is not willing to try again with you obviously.

 

I've learned to watch actions. If what you are doing is causing a person to move toward you, keep doing what you're doing. If what you're doing is causing them to move away from you (repelling them), then you need to stop, and do the opposite. Your current actions are causing her to move toward you, so keep it up. But until she dumps the new guy, she is just playing games and is not serious about reconciling with you.

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Are you 100% sure she's with someone else?

 

Yes. They are together. Now she did give me a bunch of crap early on about how she is too young to settle down and she wants to "see what else is out there." This girl wants to be a carbon copy of her mom I guess because she did the exact same thing but then ended up getting prego by a guy she wasn't that compatible with and regretted leaving the guy she had been with for so long before.

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yikes, I hope not!

 

Well, as long as she's involved with someone else, I don't think you can engage with her. You might want to explain that you can't have contact with her under the circumstances first, but then, just stop responding. If she becomes available again and gets back in touch, that's a different story. But if you try to be friends with her now, or even just continue to encourage the LC, it's going to be hard on you and will ultimately make it more difficult to reconcile, if that's going to happen at all. Give her time to sort out her feelings with the realization that she can't have you while she's doing it. See what happens next.

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