Moving on is so hard

[lisaria]

Hi everybody,

I'm feeling so sad tonite. I was doing much better. I haven't cried in a while, thought I was nearly there. Nearly over him. God! How I live for that day! But tonite I feel like it all ended yesterday instead of nearly three months ago.

Tonite we both do not have our kids, so I would be with him and we'd be making love. Laughing and enjoying each other like it would never end. Of course it did end (or I wouldn't be up here) and I want that closeness back so much. I feel so lonely. I went to the gym, came home and for some stupid reason I wanted a phone call. I just knew he was going to call. Why? After so long why would I think that and why would he bother? It's over. I know that. It just should have lasted. We both thought it was fate that brought us back together so why would fate break us apart? It's bs, I know. He's with his new g/f I suppose, carrying on like there was never any US. His life just gets better and better. I hate him.

I mean nothing to him anymore, so why does he still mean so much to me? How can someone love someone one minute and then act like they are nothing the next? And then jump into a new relationship like there was never anyone else waiting for them to come home? Like there was never any ME? How do people do that? Don't they have a guilty conscience or something?

My head knows I am better off without the lying, cheating scumbag that he is. But my heart still mourns the loss. I don't know how he can sleep at night. I just wish he would think of me once in awhile and miss me like I miss him. Not the bad parts, I miss the good of course. I miss the flowers, the kisses, the handholding, the caressing, the laughter, the stories, the blue eyes lighting up when they see me, my stomach fluttering, the trips, the talking, God, I miss him. But it's over. I will never have that again. Not with him anyway. Maybe with nobody. Maybe I'm not meant to have anyone and I have to accept that. I guess I just needed to get it out tonite. I am so glad you are all here for each one of us going through this. I think I would have imploded a long time ago except for this place.

L

[alpha128]

I know exactly how you feel. My relationship ended late February, and although I thought I was improving, the loneliness returns and it does feel like it ended yesterday. God I miss her so much, and I hate her so much for just forgetting about me the way she did. I hate her because I still love her and I can't seem to have a day without thinking about her.

 

I know, I know, time will heal everything...

And I guess that's all we can really do. Move on and hope time heals this.

But I know the feeling, I miss my ex like crazy too.

[avman]

Hello lisaria,

 

I'm sorry you are having a really tough time tonight. There are going to be those bad days or bad nights as you go through this. Go ahead and have that good cry and let out some more of those emotions that have built up.

 

Here's a post that I put together a few months ago to help people [link removed from a breakup . I hope this gives you a few words of hope and some ideas of how to keep moving forward with things and provide some closure on things. You need to let go of that hate you are holding on to because its keeping your wounds from closing. You must forgive him for what happened. Its not for him, its for YOU. Let go of the anger that is keeping the pain alive for you.

 

Hang in there lisaria. We are all here for you.

 

avman

[lisaria]

Thanks avman,

I really don't hate him. I just don't know how to forgive him yet.

I read your post and actually printed it out a while back. It is full of wisdom and good advice. Advice I have tried to follow. I'm just having a bad night and I am so very glad that you guys are here. Thank you so much.

L

[kayc73]

hello Lisaria

 

We're here for you!!! Hope your feeling a little better!

 

I actually jumped on here tonight because I'm missing my ex heaps!!! The worst thing is his on Yahoo as I type this!!! His said a brief hello but that's it... too busy to say anything else!!! I don't know why I look to see if his on... yes I do, cause I miss him so much!!!

 

Never mind, I have you guys and I keep telling myself to be strong and it's just a moment thing that I'm going through!!! I wish these moments didn't exist!!!!

 

Thinking of you!!

 

Kayc73

[lisaria]

Hey alpha, av, and kc,

Thanks you guys. I feel much better today. It is like that, isn't it? The bad days or nights and then we wake up the next day and realize that it's getting better, it really is.

Hey alph, time does make it better. My ex and I split up Feb. 1st (just a few weeks before you and your ex) and even though you'd never know it by my post last night, time does make it better. Or at least more bearable.

I know what you mean, I seem to have some sort of love-hate relationship with my ex now. av says we need to let go of that and he's right. Let's try to think of some way we can do that. Got any ideas?

Hey kc, did your ex ever IM you just to chat or was hi the extent of it? If so, maybe you should think about taking him off of your friend list. Ya' know...the dreaded No Contact? It does make you feel worse when you are in contact with them and they just ignore you or treat you like some acquaintance from the black lagoon that they would rather not see. I think I felt so bad last night because I expected to hear from or see my ex at the gym last night and chat like old friends. Sigh....great expectations, huh? When will I learn?

Anyway...Thanks so much people. You are the best!!!

Lisa

[TheRock]

Hey Lisa,

 

I am glad you are feeling better now. I am having a bad day today, but am already starting to feel better after visiting this site. I also posted another reply under "just want to get that boy out of my head". I found this letter or article on another website and copied it for you and disEnchanted (and anyone else that would like to take a look). I thought it was really uplifting. Well, take care and be strong. Later.

[lisaria]

Hey Rock,

I'm sorry you are having a bad day. My day pretty much sucked too, so You are not alone. If you ever want to PM me, please do.

I read your post and it was great! I even printed it out so I could read it later. That's one thing that will make you feel better...knowing you helped someone else and that did help me and probably lots more. I really hope you feel better soon. Thanks.

Lisa

[TheRock]

Hey Lisa,

Thanks for the reply. It is very nice to be able to talk to other people on this site. It certainly does make me feel better. Thanks Lisa. Have a good day today.

PS-I am glad you liked that post.