My emotions are all over the place

[getting_on_ok]

This is my first time here. I was looking to get over my ex, however all of a sudden she came back stating that she loved me like crazy. We broke up because I had trust issues and jealousy issues. However, I think she triggered some of this in me. We broke up for about 3 months, and then she contacted my mom. She told my mom that she loved me like crazy and that she misses me. The only problem is she wants to move to California and I we currently live in Chicago. So I called her and we got back together. She tells me shes leaving but she wants me to go with her. She says she wants to marry me but she wants to move. I told her can she wait and until I find something out there and then will move. She hasn't given me a set answer yet.

 

Does anyone have any input on this one?

[coolchick64]

How long have you been back together and when does she want to move?

[getting_on_ok]

For about two weeks and she is suppose to move on Nov 11. Its not set in stone.

[LillyLooWho]

Well California in the winter has got to be better than Chicago in the winter.

 

If you love her then move with her. You can get a job there. If you want more security about the job, tell her that she should go first and you will follow once you have secured something. Set up interviews for when you go visit her.

 

I mean, if she's the one...then act on it.

[Lavender25]

Can you tell us more about the reconciliation? I remember reading some of your posts and all of this is pretty out of the blue...

[getting_on_ok]

What would you like to know about the reconciliation?

[Lavender25]

What were the reasons for the break up? Did the situation look hopeless? Were you really NC for 3 months and then she just contacted you out of the blue wanting to make it work or did she test the waters first? Did she date anyone else?

 

Basically, your whole life story if you please

[getting_on_ok]

Well, we were arguing before the break up. some of the problems were from me being jealous, however she did trigger some of this. I was breaking up with her and coming right back to her. Well one day I told her I had trouble trusting her and she broke up with me. I went NC right off the bat. Recently(3-4weeks ago) I heard from a friend that she really loved me and she missed me. I stayed NC. Then she called my mom, and she told my mom that she loved me like crazy and she missed me. So I called her, she told me she loved me like crazy but she was moving to California and she wanted me to go with her. I told her that I cant because I would totally uproot myself. We have been having arguments because I've been trying to get a straight answer. Its been tearing me up.

 

Another thing that has been getting to me is that she went out on two dates and this guy kissed her. She said she pushed him away. And said she was still in love with me.

[Lavender25]

Have you discussed these issues about the breakup yet?

 

I can understand her wanting to come with you but you are right in that things seem to be moving so fast. It might be a good idea to maybe go out there with her on a "vacation" and see how things go, maybe discuss the relationship as a whole and then if things go well come back home and set things up to make your next trip permanent.

[getting_on_ok]

She's actually leaving tonight to go to a family wedding. And I'm leaving for California Friday to visit my brother. Her family and my brother live more then 8 hours away.

[getting_on_ok]

I asked her to give me some time so that I can find something and then we can move. She hasn't given me a straight answer.

[getting_on_ok]

I dont know what to do, I love her but I dont want to get hurt again.

[LillyLooWho]

That is the risk we all take when we offer our heart.