babybear Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 I recently met this guy who I liked a lot pretty instantly. We went on a date and went back to his but I told him before I went I wasn't going to have sex with him which he was fine about. We had a second date last night went to the cinemas then he invited me back to his again. I said I didn't want to have sex with him again but this time he didn't really seem so understanding. I go back to Uni in like a week so i told him i didn't want to have sex and then just disappear 'cause that would make me sad. And he was like 'you're getting abit ahead of yourself, this is just a bit of fun'. Then he was just kind of mean. He made me feel bad that I wasn't up for casual sex. I told him it was my choice but he was just pretty rude. I've had casual sex before and it just leaves me feeling empty and horrible. It's not my idea of fun but he made me feel like there is something wrong with me. He's not the first guy to do this either. I just feel pretty sad and confused he seemed so nice before we got into that argument and I just felt like I couldn't really talk to him afterwards. He went back to normal but I just went all quiet. Just wanted to post about my experience really. I'm so exhausted from being made to feel like there is something wrong with me for not finding casual sex the best thing since sliced bread. I'm very paranoid about catching STDs if the condom fails... or herpes where condoms don't even protect you. This doesn't even seem to cross people's minds though! Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 These days both men and women seem to expect casual sex so when someone comes along and says no to casual sex, they act like 5 year olds throwing a temper tantrum saying "but I want, I always get, you're not nice, you're not fair". Don't feel bad, chalk it up to the fact that you just got rid of someone very immature who was not looking for anything serious. Nobody should be made to feel badly just because they are not interested in a casual sexual encounter. Link to comment
dr_styles Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 Guess he's not that nice likeable guy anymore? From what you've said that sounds like he was "one of those guys" if he can't take a No and just the 2nd date. Link to comment
Nidania Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 If you know that casual sex makes you feel miserable and horrid, then you absolutely should not give the time of day to any guy who is miffed that you won't "put out" for the fun of it. Casual sex is not for everyone. You are wise enough about yourself to know that it doesn't work for you, and I commend you for that. I like a little tumble in the sheets without commitment from time to time (when it happens) but that's me. If the guy I wanted to have sex with didn't feel the same, there's no way I would be getting upset with him. To each their own. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. This guy however... his behavior was selfish and petulant. You don't need people like that in your life. And there are all sorts of guys out there who aren't into casual sex that you can spend your time with. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted September 15, 2009 Share Posted September 15, 2009 good for you for standing up for yourself! Link to comment
Sharp Lex Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 I think casual sex can be great, as long as it's what both want. If it's under false pretenses - then there is a problem. Link to comment
chocolates Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 casual sex sux and more and more guys expect it. Ofcourse its the internets fault Link to comment
DrKitten Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Definitely don't let any guy guilt trip you, especially when it comes to sex. That is how some types of emotional abuse work, being selfish and blaming the other person. The right guy for you will respect your decisions. Link to comment
Celestialagape54 Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I think casual sex can be a great thing ( I don't engage in it myself)...however it should be something that is desired by both parties. There should not be an expecatation for it just because you go out with someone and you had a good time with them. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 casual sex sux and more and more guys expect it. Ofcourse its the internets fault I'd love to hear your reasoning on this, if you don't mind. Link to comment
greywolf Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 OP, the guy is a douche. And he was like 'you're getting abit ahead of yourself, this is just a bit of fun'. Should've said to him, "Paying child support is gonna be a lot of fun for you too!" Link to comment
Speranza Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Well done you for sticking to what you felt to be right for you. Just picture him as the one who should feel bad - what have you done wrong? Looked out for yourself... if YOU don't, who will? Link to comment
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