Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[LSgirl]

While today turned out to be a productive day, I went parasailing and kayaking with a friend, but then when I got home, I just started crying again. Thinking, you're not suffering like I am, you've moved on and enjoying life. While I do enjoy mine at times, this feeling is so terrible. It's Day 19 of NC and at this point, I know we will never speak to each other again. Even though you said 'I hope one day you could talk to me again', I just can't. It was a mutual breakup, but it was because you said your feelings weren't as strong as mine and thought I could do better. I hope I can do better, and soon! Tonight is St. Patrick's day and I know you'll be in downtown at the block party, so I decided not to go. Can't risk bumping into you, I wouldn't even know what to say. I do imagine this sometimes, either ignoring you and walking away or trying to make it like I'm so happy now without you. The worst times are in the morning and even worse is waking up in the middle of the night after a dream about you. The past two nights the dreams have been getting worse. You were trying to get back together with your ex-fiancee and you were looking at a house to buy for you and her. I woke up feeling bitter and angry and depressed. I thought it's supposed to get better, but the realization that we're really over is tormenting.

[potty46]

I miss you. And I know you miss me. Why is that need not enough?

[playstheblues]

Today, I REALLY miss you. Not the miss you as in a fleeting thought or the miss you that you say to a dear friend whom you haven't seen for a while. The miss you as in I cannot stop thinking about you, the miss you that causes my body to almost physically ache for you, the miss you which makes me feel so damn awful that I'd rather be anyone but me or do anything I could to have you here with me.

 

Sitting at the party, watching all those other couples love each other just made me sad and mad. We had that- and you gave it all away. SO I sit here, missing you, longing for you- it almost hurts to breathe missing you and I wonder if you miss me too.

[playstheblues]

I miss you. And I know you miss me. Why is that need not enough?

 

I wish I knew.

[bec83]

Goodbye, this has been a long time coming. From this day on, you are no longer holding me back from rebuilding my life. It has been just over year and i have tried to the right thing and give you want you want i.e the chance of one day being friends. But through this long journey there is one thing i have overlooked... i don't wat you in my life. You screwed up my life (or at least i let you) and by staying contact there will always be this part of me that fears you and your actions, that fears my guilt and what my guilt may make me do in regards to you.

 

But no more. This is my life and i will not be held back by guilt. I will not be friends with you just because i think it will hurt you less, as it will always hurt me. I may well feel guilt for a while longer.But this is one of the best things about me. I have a huge heart (no matter what you say) i feel and give too much and i can love. so i say goodbye, goodbye to all the rubbish you put me through, goodbye to holding on for your sake and finally goodbye to whats been holding me back. Instead i say hello to the beginning of the end of us and the guilt. I will hurt, but sometimes it's the harderst things that we have to do that are the best things for us. Goodbye R, goodbye

[potty46]

I wish I knew.

 

Knowing my ex does make me feel better, as in, knowing in not in this alone. But in the same essence, it makes me feel worse. I'm finding it really hard trying to understand how someone can miss and want you, but doesn't want to commit. I think I'd prefer to go back to pondering if he misses me, rather than having him tell me... One day he might wake up and realise, and a part of me hopes I'll wake up that same day and tell him he is too late.

[Snowy]

You continue to amaze me.

 

Haha.

 

Beta phaggots.

[Fraggle]

Today, I REALLY miss you. Not the miss you as in a fleeting thought or the miss you that you say to a dear friend whom you haven't seen for a while. The miss you as in I cannot stop thinking about you, the miss you that causes my body to almost physically ache for you, the miss you which makes me feel so damn awful that I'd rather be anyone but me or do anything I could to have you here with me.

 

Sitting at the party, watching all those other couples love each other just made me sad and mad. We had that- and you

gave it all away. SO I sit here, missing you, longing for you- it almost hurts to breathe missing you and I wonder if you miss me too.

 

I couldn't put it better myself.... Tomorrow would have been our 9th year anniversary I can't believe it's over and I'm lying in bed barely able to function today- why do I miss you much today? You'll probably spend the afternoon w your mum. It hurts so so much and I wish you knew the pain I was going through right now I wonder if it would make you feel any different?

 

I want to tell you I'm having a hard day and hope that you would try to resolve things rather than you just running away. Although the relationship felt flat before you broke up w me I so want to try just once more and prove to you how much I love you- but I don't think it would make any difference. I love you so so much and miss you more than you could imagine...

[quirky]

I hate having to start all over with someone else. I hate you for it though I guess that doesn't change anything. The fact remains the same and you will not resolve my pain.

[einsteins_girl]

It has been 60 days since we last had any communication. My therapist says she doesn't think you'll ever contact me. As in, forever ever. If she's right, that means the last things you ever say to me will be telling me I'm useless and throwing the things you did for me back in my face. You really want those to be my last memories of you after six years of being together? You want that to be how I remember the end?

 

That last conversation was so weird because you were so hurtful, and it came out of nowhere. You must have been holding on to a lot of resentment to just start saying those things to me. I'm proud I said nothing cruel back. All you heard from me was hurt and confusion... yet you kept throwing verbal daggers my direction. It was such a strange conversation. I can't seem to let it go.

 

I miss you. Every day. Mostly, though, I miss the man I knew you could be. The man I saw in glimpses and fragments. The man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. That other guy? The guy you were on the phone with me that last time? I can let him go. But I still want you.

 

I hope my therapist is wrong because, if she's right, it would be the saddest thing. I'm sad for you. I'm sad for me. I'm sad for us. It shouldn't have ended this way.

[soybeans]

It's now been two months since we broke up/had any contact. I know you aren't coming back but I always wish that you would.

 

I started to date someone else. We already decided to be exclusive and he calls me his girlfriend. It makes me feel weird. I like him and I enjoy being with him but let me tell you this.. he will never come close to making me feel the way I felt for you. When we first met I was completely head over heels crazy in love with you. I've never felt that before.

 

Leaving his apartment this morning I was just come over with emotions. I would give absolutely anything to be with you again, it only gets stronger each and every day. I'm concerned. I have this really great guy but I'm still missing you. What is it going to take? Seriously. I have tried just being on my own and it only makes me miss you more, and now I'm dating someone else and it STILL makes me miss you.

 

I want you back. I can't have you back. You have forgotten me and are happy without me now.

[playstheblues]

I saw the pathetic page you made with your friends. For some reason - my blood is boiling. How dare you get to do this and then just be fine? I'm so angry!!!!!!!!!!! What the HeLL is wrong with you? I am so angry that you are flippant and fine, going out getting drunk, dating so many different girls, hanging out with your stupid flatmates. I AM BROKEN. I am so broken. And when I saw you; I thought you were struggling. Just another act. COWARD. It hurts to realise you are a coward. But you are. Not only are you a coward, you're a lying coward. What the hell?!?!? I think I was possibly the only person that held you in such high regard. You don't deserve it. I want my 9 years back. I don't want to be like this anymore. I feel so much hatred towards you right now! I want you to realise. I hope you see that these people are nothing but losers and you sit among them.

[playstheblues]

AND do NOT read my twitter, blog or anythig else. You're too much of a Coward to tell me important things or contact me when my brother is seriously ill? You DO not deserve to know. It's so unfair that you can see about my life except yours is such a secret. What are you doing that you need to hide? I hope you are ashamed. I want you to feel embarrassment and hurt and shame and anger and abandonment.

[Melting]

So i found out through a friend that you are taking a date to our work dinner. Guess I won't be going to that. You have done no wrong, u just didn't want me, that is not ur fault. I have caused all my own pain.

[Robin2904]

I feel kinda stupid today. After my drunk texts to you on Saturday and not really being too sure what I said, I thought about texting you today to say sorry or something along those lines but I decided to just let it be because I was sure I didn't really say anything too awful or embarassing...then tonight you texted me just to say 'thanks for checking on me yesterday' ... guess it was just you being nice. I just said 'Welcome. Glad your ok' and then I asked how your mom was and if she was any better....and no answer. Really? Not for nothing but I did show concern here you could have at least answered that. If you didn't want to continue conversing that's fine but at least answer my friggin question! That's just really rude!!

 

And there I go feeling like a numbnut again. Just gonna let things be. I am embarrassed enough, I do remember saying I missed you, and that things made me think of you, I remember saying something about me coming to move to your city to live with my friend. I said it half jokingly but you asked 'Are you really?' I mean honestly this is something I have talked about with my friend, but its only been a passing thought but I have wondered what you would think if I did move there so I just kept you with that thought saying 'Yup that's the plan' ....I think I just wanted to see your reaction. Gahhhh I feel like an idiot. Seriously wish I got that email from your mom like the day AFTER St Patricks day so I wouldn't be drunk and text you because I'm sure I wouldn't have texted this stuff sober. Epic fail.

[Jennyyes]

Its better that i never text you or call you. once my things are gone i am going to be free and happy. Things will get better

[Snowy]

Why did you think I don't trust you? It's because you do crap like that.

[brokenheart13]

How could you walk away from us so easily?

I have been trying to stay busy but I can't fight the feeling that I wish you were with me.

[kittycat12]

I don't understand any of this..you wanted to spend your life with me I was everything to you and now i'm nothing

You fell in love with someone else how am I supposed to feel? I thought we would always last.... but with all the pictures you took with her and all the things... I don't know what to think anymore I would have liked you to be more hurt by this...to miss me to regret because what wqe had was beautiful..you loved me so much

how can you in a few weeks go from loving me with all your heart and then totally forgetting about me and falling in love again

how does this work? I don't understand...why can't you love me? why can't I get over this..even after all that even after telling myself you'll never be back and trying to move on I still want to cry everyday...and I still miss you...after all we did why am I the only one who cares? Why does it only hurt me? You would have died 6 months ago if I would have left...how can you be so happy now and that I have to be so miserable? I keep asking myself what I did to deserve this...

I don,t understand you anymore... why did you care so much if I didn't keep all the stuff you gave me... why do you ignore me...but when you see me talk about throwing all away you answer and you get scared... even your stuffed animals? YES why do you care you love her you chose her I am nothing

Why did you keep a picture of us? it's not a memorie you should not be thinking about me if you are with someone else...if you love someone else... You wanted all your exes out of your life but you still want to be friends with me? I'm so sick of this I thought I was more to you.. I thought you would never find better you promised you told me even after the breakup I feel so stupid now! I'm so sick of this I don't know what to think...why did this have to happen? how can you stop caring and missing and loving me after ALL this? How?? Why am I nothing? Why won't you come back... I miss you so much but you don't give a damn about it...you have her i'm nothing now.. I just wish to wake up from this nightmare everyday

why can you let go so fast and not me? It's not fair...you were supposed to love me...you promised everyday... it's not fair

I feel better writing this but I know i'll never tell you...and that none of my wishes will come true...you won't talk to me and you won't answer my message..you don't love me you don't care......

[brokenheart13]

I know you say that the guy you have been spending all your time with is just a friend but I don't believe you.

[northpickle]

My head is a little bit battered this evening so I thought I would come here to vent it out a bit...

 

A few things have happened this weekend that have made me think of you a little bit, certainly more than I have done for a good few weeks. Friday night I went out with my boyfriend and we had a great time...but an old ex of mine walked into the pub. In fact, I don't call him an ex really, I don't think of him as human, and that is the only person I know who I would speak of like that. That was a bad time of my life in my early twenties, and I'm so glad I'm the strong person I am now would not put up with the abusive rubbish that rat gave me...

 

Anyway, as predicted, he didn't stay long, he came nowhere near me and he can't even look me in the eye now! But him coming in led to a conversation with my boyfriend about our exes, our past relationships and so on...and I talked about you a little bit. I find it weird talking about past boyfriends with a current one, although I agree it's good to know some basics! And I realised how weird it sounded, the way we ended, or moreso what happened after we ended. My boyfriend just looked confused when I told him about you running away, and then cutting me off. He said "Were you pestering him or something?". Ha! When I explained I was doing just the opposite he looked even more confused!

 

Anyway, I ended the conversation there. This is my new life, my new (and much better actually!) times. But the best way I can describe things right now is like I sometimes have little aftershocks. Since that chance sighting of an old ex (who I despise and have done for 7 years or so) on Friday, it has bubbled up some little shudders about you. Not missing you, or loving you, nothing like that at all. It's the blasted hurt! I'm a little bit more sensitive walking around in case I see you in your car. I had a funky dream about you on Saturday night, I can't remember much about it but you were talking about your new girlfriend or something.

 

I am happier now, much more content. But you made a massive impression on my life for reasons I still can't quite understand. I lost control I think. I let you into my life, you happened to me, and then you ran away. That's the best way I can describe it, really really odd.

[brokenheart13]

Why is it when I felt that I loved you the most you left me.

[soybeans]

I would love to go through one day where I don't think of you. Since the day we broke up you haven't left my mind. I am sloooowly starting to realize it was never going to work but it doesn't change the fact that I miss you and the times we shared.

[Meloshski]

You make me feel like I wasn’t worth the Love, wasn’t worth the Vow, wasn’t worth the Truth, wasn’t worth the Promises, wasn’t worth Friendship, wasn’t worth the Talk, wasn’t worth a simple Hug.

 

I am left as a Shepard to the life that you felt was so worthless that you are running away from it, trying to erase it, trying to forget it. Even in the end parts of that life weren’t worth fighting for you just wanted to erase it all.

 

I don’t blame you. I don’t hate you. I am disappointed. You made so many promises over and over to me even after you told me you were going because you knew that you were the only one I have ever opened up to, that my heart finds comfort in, that you were my only friend. I needed you to help me through it, and you promised and I was the fool.

 

I still pray for you to find the courage and the strength to talk to me, to keep those promises, to comfort me as only you can, to let me know that the fourteen years of our life together that we built together wasn’t a complete waste, to let our family know they were wanted, for you to want to see the faces of your family again, to acknowledge that we might be separate but will still want to be you and me. Bonded life partners as you yourself promised.

 

But in the end, I have to face the Truth. It’s not courage, or strength that’s holding you back from those things. Its love, love for your new life without us, love for the person that you gave our bond to, love for freedom with none of the responsibly that our life has.

I have to accept that if you wanted to, you would, but since you haven’t, it’s because you don’t.

 

In the end, the actions are the Truth; the promises are just the lies. And still, I don’t hate you. I might be worthless to you; I might be nothing to you. Our life might have no meaning for you now or ever did for you.

But I am not nothing, I am not worthless, our family is not meaningless, and Our life had value.

 

And here I still stand in the ruins of our life, hurt, pained, and waiting for the one who will never come. Wanting to hear the voice of the one who will never speak. Hoping to catch a glimpse of the one who will never show.

 

Shouting in silence to the one who will never answer... Why?

 

I love you angie, may god grace you. Because i cant any more. Goodbye

[kittycat12]

Images of us being so happy haunt me...of you not willing to let me go in the morning when I was just goign to the bathroom...hugging me tight and being so cute....when I would be on the computer you would do things to get my attention...you were so cute I only realise these things now...how precious they were... and I miss them so much... I want you to keep me from getting my clothes back on..spend entire days in our bed and simply...love each other...when I think of moments like these I cannot imagine you having them with osmeone else...loving someone else more...

Why do I still hope.. do you remember any of this?? All the things you did? THe connection we had... do you think about it? no you don't miss any of it you want her and only her..but it doesn't feel right...it shouldn't happen.. why?

You will never answer me will you?... you tld me you would..I asked you yesterday and you said you just didn't have time...yeah right

you just don't want to..i'm a burden now...

You said you would do it! Why do you lie? Why has it come to this... I feel so stupid...missing you and still loving you while you clearly don't...how could this happen?

We were meant to be... you told me if I hadn't changed you would have been the love of my life... why did you change? what happened? I can'T live like this anymore..because I haven't changed you are still the love of my life..have you thought about it? ME I am left alone.....but you don't care..you never will because you don't love me as impossible as it seems in my head you don't love me you don't miss me you juste don't care

You would be happy if I was just dead..out of your life

I had everything...and now nothing.. it's not fair why don'T you feel anything? Why am I the only one suffering?